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  1. This past Lag B'Omer, my husband & I had a modest wedding which was thoroughly enjoyed by all. I agree, there is no need for such unnecessary extravagance, especially if one cannot afford it

    Comment by Liba Engel — January 14, 2014 @ 3:23 PM

  2. Amen. If financial stress is the most common reason for divorce, why do so many couples start off with a huge debt because of something as superficial as a wedding ceremony? It makes more sense to use that money to provide security for the family or if they're already rich, why not use that money to do some good outside the family? It's a waste. And when the whole thing is catered and full of pomp, it loses the intimacy of a family get-together. While we're at it, quit wasting money on jewelry and expensive clothing too, girls. You may be princess, but your father and husband aren't kings.

    Comment by Roasted Locust — January 14, 2014 @ 6:23 PM

  3. Oh, puleeze. When the government itself over-indulges and fosters, rather than prevents, the development of filthy rich corporations, while keeping elderly shoah survivors in abject poverty, who is going to listen to admonitions of this kind?

    Comment by Myriam Obadia — January 15, 2014 @ 8:00 AM

  4. Oh, puleeze. When the government itself over-indulges and fosters, rather than prevents, the development of filthy rich corporations, while keeping elderly shoah survivors in abject poverty, who is going to listen to admonitions of this kind?

    Comment by Myriam Obadia — January 15, 2014 @ 8:00 AM

  5. i would extend the Rabbi's comments to include Bar/Batmitzvahs particularly in New York!

    Comment by James Malin — January 15, 2014 @ 6:34 PM

  6. You are absolutely spot on. The cost of Jewish schooling in Melbourne Australia and high costs of housing to live in Jewish areas is also causing an unsustainable financial burden. I do however think you are a very brave man….not sure about your future social calendar ;)

    Comment by Marakkubbaadom — January 16, 2014 @ 3:39 AM

  7. If an extravagant wedding/bar mitzvah causes parents to go into debt, then I would agree with the Rabbi. But if parents can well afford the extravagance, then I am totally in favor of them spending their money on the celebration. What the Rabbi fails to mention is all this spent money supports everyone involved in the affair: florists, caterers, waiters, linen suppliers, cooks, etc., etc. All that spending enriches the economy. It circulates money into the market place. If you have it, then by all means spend it!

    Comment by Richard A. Levine — January 16, 2014 @ 5:50 AM

  8. You're right, but in the circles he is talking about the young couple don't take on the debt, their parents do.

    Comment by Shoshanna Goldstein Sanders — January 16, 2014 @ 6:07 PM

  9. I agree with the sentiment that weddings have become overlay lavish and needlessly expensive — no argument there – but you make a couple of troubling comments —

    A wedding is not a "one-night bash that disappears into photo albums a few hours after it is over". It's a celebration of unity and love, a new begining, the start of a new chapter. Our wedding album sits open by our front door, each day or two we turn to a different page so there's always a new picture and memory to revisit.

    Secondly, if the wedding is not "not just for brides and grooms" haven't we missed the point. If these people have fallen in love and chosen each other, let them have their day. Let everyone work around their needs or wants. Let them have ONE day be about them.

    There need not be "laws" limiting spend on weddings, just some common sense. The lavish buying of apartments or supporting adult children who choose not to work is absurd. Half a million dollars of debt seems ridiculous to me.

    Comment by This American Bite — January 17, 2014 @ 6:12 PM

  10. Weddings are supposed to be about the chatan and kallah and their starting a Bayit Ne'eman B'Yisrael. And bar/bat mitzvahs are supposed to be about the child's religious coming of age. How are these things really celebrated when there's so much emphasis on the superficial details that cost so much?

    Comment by Meira E. Schneider-Atik — January 17, 2014 @ 6:57 PM

  11. you forget…..they spend so much money and then the marriage lasts only a few years….Maybe the parents should put a clause, that the marriage has to last at least X number of years or they have to pay the parents back for the whole wedding….

    Comment by Judy Yehudit Yazersky — January 18, 2014 @ 10:09 PM

  12. is the bar mitzvah more BAR or MITZVAH? If it is more BAR save your money and take the kid to disneyland or even better, give to charity….

    Comment by Judy Yehudit Yazersky — January 18, 2014 @ 10:12 PM

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