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July 4, 2015 / 17 Tammuz, 5775
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DEPT. OF GRIPES

Here, It’s Not Xmas At All

How can the Jews of the Diaspora put up with it?
Oy Yoy Yoy

Photo Credit: Yori Yanover

It’s the 25th of December in Israel, 3 o’clock in the afternoon, and nothing is stirring, not even a mouse. Nothing. No sign of Xmas at all. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a reindeer, not an elf, not a stocking, or a candy cane. So carols, no jingles, no bells, no Xmas songs. There are plenty of old men with white beards on the street, but none of them is Santa. If it weren’t for the Xmas decorations on Google, I wouldn’t know it was Xmas at all.

Why should I? I’m a Jew. I live in my own Jewish Land. Xmas is traf here. It doesn’t exist. It’s meaningless, like it should be. No one talks about it. No one cares. Even the secular talk-show hosts on the radio don’t give it a passing mention. If you didn’t risk your life and venture into Bethlehem, you wouldn’t know it was Xmas at all.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No decorations, no evergreen trees with twinkling light bulbs and stars. Here in Israel is the only place where it is truly a silent holy night, with no choirs and the massive spiritual pollution that surrounds idol worship and a religion that deifies a man, in whose name more Jews were killed than in the name of Hitler.

How can the Jews of the Diaspora put up with it? How can they live for weeks on end under the cloud of Xmas. Brothers and sisters – how? Why? Why do you linger in your impure Xtian land when you have your own Jewish State? Why do you suffer the onslaught of Xmas when you can live in a place where there is no Xmas at all?

I don’t understand. It’s so wonderful here in Israel, in the Holy Land, where the whole Harry Potter story was invented. This is the Holy Land and here, in the Holy Land, there is no Xmas at all. How can a Jew live anywhere else?

How can he live in a place where there are Santas, and mangers, and stockings, and Xmas trees all around him, and the knowledge in his gut that he doesn’t belong. And woe to those lost Jewish souls who try to fit in, who smile like everyone else, and exchange presents, and get drunk at their parties, and sack down with unstockinged girls. Woe to the lost Jewish souls, the tens of thousands of them, who feel lonely come Xmas time, without a family to be with, without someone to love them, alone in their apartments, divorced, listening to the songs, bombarded by the masquerade of love, lost and alone, tormented by the aroma of roasted chestnuts coming from the fireplace of some happy family down the street, while he or she sits all alone.

And woe to those unhappy Jewish souls who are captured at Xmas time by missionaries and Jews for Jezeus, innocent souls who fall for fake embraces and false promises of love, handed out freely by those prostitutes of religion who have been expertly trained especially for this time of year to trap lonely and unhappy Jews in their Santa Claus sacks of love.

Bothers! Sisters! Look around you! You’re enslaved in Gentileland. Xmasland. In lands where you don’t belong.

How beautiful it is in Israel! How truly holy and serene! It’s almost evening on the 25th of December and there is no sign of Xmas at all. Nothing! Absolutely nothing!

It can be this way for you.

We are waiting to embrace you, to love you, to greet you as family with a warm Jewish embrace.

Come and experience the incredibly holy, mind-blowing high of the 25th of December with absolutely no Xmas at all.

About the Author: Tzvi Fishman was awarded the Israel Ministry of Education Prize for Creativity and Jewish Culture for his novel "Tevye in the Promised Land." A wide selection of his books are available at Amazon.

The author's opinion does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Jewish Press.

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12 Responses to “Here, It’s Not Xmas At All”

  1. Douglas Mills says:

    Xmas in America reminds me we are guests in this land until we return to the land. As a guest we must be respectful of our host land or the consequences could be dire. Jews should feel more Jewish at Xmas time, not less.

  2. Anonymous says:

    How sad not to celebrate the birth of Christ in the Palestinian city of Bethlehem, West Bank.

  3. Anonymous says:

    How sad not to celebrate the birth of Christ in the Palestinian city of Bethlehem, West Bank.

  4. Charlie Hall says:

    "How can the Jews of the Diaspora put up with it?"

    I went to a shiur last night, and then learned some Talmud Yerushalmi on my own after late Maariv.

    This morning I spent four hours in shul: First daf yomi, then Shacharit, then a Brit, and the Seudah Mitzvah. Then went to a different shul for Minchah Gedolah. Took a nap, learned a little more Talmud Yerushalmi, then second Minchah and Maariv, and dinner at a kosher restaurant with my wife. I felt very Jewish this December 25.

    " It doesn’t exist."

    This is a false statement. There are a lot of Christians in Eretz Yisrael. Half the Old City of Jerusalem is the Christian Quarter and an Armenian (also Christian) Quarter.

    "sack down with unstockinged girls".

    This is a disgusting insult to the many religious Jewish women who don't wear stockings.

    "there is no sign of Xmas at all. Nothing! Absolutely nothing!"

    Absolutely false.

    http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2010/12/merry-christmas-from-jerusalem/68536/#

  5. Jordan Hirsch says:

    The Fishman article is reprehensible in so many ways I do not have the energy to fully critique it.

  6. Yossie Bloch says:

    Charlie, why is the Jewish Press any more credible than WND?

  7. Charlie Hall says:

    Well for one thing, JP isn't run by someone who promotes Truthers, Birthers, and anti-Semites.

  8. Yori Yanover says:

    We've cut down the number of anti-Semites on staff by 75%

  9. Liad Bar-el says:

    Tzvi: “How can the Jews of the Diaspora put up with it?”.
    The main reason, IMO, is that the Jews of the Diaspora have a long line in family history of being addicted to a certain “drug” as it were. They have become addicted to the continued production and excessive use of Testosterone. People are subjected to its production and expenditure in every diaspora clothing store, in commercials, movies, TV, videos, top less gas stations, football games, computer porn, and the list is endless. Wanton sex supersedes Santa Claus and all other “paganistic” practices.

  10. Liad Bar-el says:

    Tzvi: “How can the Jews of the Diaspora put up with it?”.
    The main reason, IMO, is that the Jews of the Diaspora have a long line in family history of being addicted to a certain “drug” as it were. They have become addicted to the continued production and excessive use of Testosterone. People are subjected to its production and expenditure in every diaspora clothing store, in commercials, movies, TV, videos, top less gas stations, football games, computer porn, and the list is endless. Wanton sex supersedes Santa Claus and all other “paganistic” practices.

  11. Liad Bar-el says:

    Jordan Hirsch, maybe you would "have the energy to fully critique it" in the TrumpetMaster or TrumpetHerald anti-Semitic forums for there you would have more support. What do trumpet players know about Judaism when all they do is blow their brains out and pass out with a Valsalva maneuver?

Comments are closed.

Tzvi Fishman, author of the Jewish Press blog Felafel on Rye and author of more than a dozen books.
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