web analytics
August 3, 2015 / 18 Av, 5775
At a Glance
Blogs
Sponsored Post


Three Reasons Why You Should Not Help Your Children Buy a Home or Apartment

What is the greatest present that you can give your children when they get married?

In certain communities, the answer is, “an apartment.” Many parents take on second or third mortgages, sell their own homes, or bury themselves in debt to make sure that an apartment comes along with the trousseau. While they may not be looking forward to paying off huge debts at an age when most people are retired, they will probably sigh and tell you that these days, you can’t find a decent match for your child unless it includes an apartment as well.

But in fact, there are three reasons why buying an apartment can be detrimental for you and your children:

You can’t afford it

You may jeopardize your retirement. You have worked all your life to support your family, providing your children with an education and everything they need to grow into fine, responsible citizens. As you grow older, your children should move on to support themselves and the savings that you have put aside can be used for your golden years.

You need to be fair to your children –don’t give to one unless you can give the same amount to all. Buying an extra apartment can be costly. If you have more than one child, huge resentment can arise between them if only one of them got the free apartment.

Not everyone is doing it

Although the rumor mills may say “everyone buys the bride an apartment,” it is just not true. I have been a financial advisor both in New York and in Israel and I have seen what goes on firsthand. Some folks help, and some don’t. This is very much a matter of individual choice.

If your future in-laws pressure you, just say no. Tell them your financial planner advised against it. You do not need to be forced into putting yourself into heavy debt to pay for an additional apartment that you really can‘t afford.

Would you sell your daughter for camels?

If the parents of your child’s intended absolutely refuse to marry their child to yours unless you pay up, are you really interested in this match anyway? We live in the modern world where people marry based on mutual goals, dreams, and love. If the other side’s main priority is how much money you have (and are willing to spend on the wedding/apartment), rather than your child’s sterling personal qualities, the future may not shine so bright.

Rather than putting yourself into debt or spending your retirement savings, encourage the young couple to build their home and future together on their own two feet. Their teamwork building their own home (both physical and spiritual) will create more of an everlasting edifice than even the most luxurious apartment from you.

If you want to know more about when it’s wrong to gift to your children, read Gifting Money to Children – Right or Wrong.

About the Author: Douglas Goldstein, CFP®, is the director of Profile Investment Services, Ltd, a financial planning and investment services firm located in Jerusalem. He specializes in working with clients who live outside of the United States and want to maintain a U.S. brokerage account. Doug’s newest book, co-authored with Susan Polgar, about how using chess strategies to improve your finances, Rich As A King can be purchased at www.richasaking.com. He is a licensed financial professional both in the U.S. and Israel. Securities offered through Portfolio Resources Group, Inc., Member FINRA, SIPC, MSRB, FSI. Accounts held at Pershing LLC., Member NYSE/SIPC, a subsidiary of The Bank of New York Mellon Corporation. Neither Profile nor PRG gives tax or legal advice. Before immigrating to Israel, it is advisable to consult with a tax attorney who is knowledgeable about Israeli law. Contact at doug@profile-financial.com

The author's opinion does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Jewish Press.

If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Three Reasons Why You Should Not Help Your Children Buy a Home or Apartment”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
U.S. President Barack Obama
Jewish Group Demands Obama Stop Demonizing Jews
Latest Blogs Stories
Doug Goldstein

What is the impact of renouncing US citizenship if you live abroad? Can you visit the US again?

Flag of Norway

Gentile friends of Israel came from all over Norway & Europe and they sang “Hatikva” in Norwegian!

Anti-violence protest in Tel Aviv

As the incitement begins again against the settlers, the religious and the Right, let’s review the list of children killed by terrorists.

Inside of the home burned in the Prce Tag attack in the village of Duma.

Reports of a dead baby, a devastated family, and indications of a gloating attacker.

In all the years (and this week it’s exactly 14 years) since our daughter was murdered, we have not found a single Arabic-language post, article, tweet or speech condemning that attack in the center of Jerusalem or the killings.

Everyone is angry at the ongoing Arab terrorism, but what does murdering a baby have to do with protecting Jewish lives or furthering Jewish settlement in the Land of Israel?

Tonight, live Meerkat interactive video tour and talk in Jerusalem.

The US doesn’t want Pollard & he doesn’t want America- release him with 1 condition: No return to US

Meet Republican US presidential candidate Kerry Bowers & listen to his message to the Israeli public

Amongst the Palestinians (sic) what is promoted and praised for its young people? Terror & martyrdom

“If you can’t negotiate with your enemy, why negotiate at all?” Great sound bite. The press loved it

The phenomenon pushing limits of Orthodoxy to the extreme left has no chance of becoming mainstream

Discussing, what should you do if you are feeling overstressed in your job and are tempted to quit?

Considering Esther Pollard’s group mismanaged his case, Pollard’s chances of parole are slim

Detention Camps for US Jews? Sounds farfetched but it did to Japanese-Americans during WW II as well

We asked the soldiers, what will you tell your children you did during the Disengagement?

More Articles from Doug Goldstein, CFP®
Doug Goldstein

What is the impact of renouncing US citizenship if you live abroad? Can you visit the US again?

Doug Goldstein

Meet Republican US presidential candidate Kerry Bowers & listen to his message to the Israeli public

Discussing, what should you do if you are feeling overstressed in your job and are tempted to quit?

Learn how modern technology can be used to foster personal development in life as well as in finance

Tony Stubblebine, founder of Coach.me, shares tips on translating desire for change into action

Talking about the best ways to give financial advice. Is “storytelling” helpful?

How can you get people motivated in the right way? Discover effective techniques right here.

Learn how discipline helps you reach your potential and the role good habits play in being a leader.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/blogs/goldstein-on-gelt/three-reasons-why-you-should-not-help-your-children-buy-a-home-or-apartment/2012/06/27/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: