web analytics
December 21, 2014 / 29 Kislev, 5775
 
At a Glance
Blogs
Sponsored Post
8000 meals Celebrate Eight Days of Chanukah – With 8,000 Free Meals Daily to Israel’s Poor

Join Meir Panim’s campaign to “light up” Chanukah for families in need.



Can a Therapist Destroy a Marriage?

Individual therapy can be very helpful as long as the therapist does not turn his or her client against the spouse without hearing their side of it.
Counseling

Photo Credit: Yori Yanover

But more often than not the thing that people look at in each other is the intangible ‘attraction factor.’ Which is of course very important. Attraction is based on both physical and psychological attributes. A marriage cannot succeed if a couple is not attracted to each other. But all too often the investigation ends there. Once the romance wears off – important things ignored will surface and if the differences are great enough – it can destroy the marriage. I know some pretty attractive couples where there was “love at first sight” that have gotten divorced. I recall one case where the marriage did not even last through the week of Sheva Brachos.

I don’t know if that marriage was salvageable. But I do know that many marriages are salvageable with just a little bit of work – and the right kind of therapy. And yet divorce seems to be an all too easy a way out these days. It used to be a rarity. When it did happen, people were embarrassed by it. Now it is as matter of fact as getting married. But still divorce even in our day is an ordeal for the couple. And if there are children – there will be a lot more suffering by all concerned. In cases where the marriage can be saved, that suffering will be needless.

On the other hand divorce is sometimes the right course of action. A contentious marriage where a couple is always at odds with screaming matches and constant bitter battles can have a far more deleterious effect than a divorce. If there can be no compromise that will lead to a peaceful marriage then divorce may be the only solution.

Where to draw that line should only be determined by a competent professional that counsels both husband and wife and then honestly evaluate what the best option is for them and their children. This does not mean that each spouse cannot have individual therapy. That can be very helpful as long as the therapist does not turn his or her client against the spouse without hearing their side of it. In my view any advice about divorce ought to come from an experienced therapist who knows both sides of the story by dealing directly with them both.

Visit Emes Ve-Emunah.

About the Author: Harry Maryles runs the blog "Emes Ve-Emunah" which focuses on current events and issues that effect the Jewish world in general and Orthodoxy in particular. It discuses Hashkafa and news events of the day - from a Centrist perspctive and a philosphy of Torah U'Mada. He can be reached at hmaryles@yahoo.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

One Response to “Can a Therapist Destroy a Marriage?”

  1. Milton D Beattie says:

    Therapists are about as good for a marriage as an affair.

    Neither treat marriage as sacred.
    Neither treat the couple as a unit.
    And Neither have any sense of morality.

    Both think that what ever looks like it will feel best at the time is best at the time.
    Both are in it for themselve$. and
    Both don't really care about the others nor the consequences outside the room they are in.

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Binyamin and Chaya Maryles, uncle and aunt of Emes Ve-Emunah author Harry Maryles.
Current Top Story
Christian Israeli Kay Wilson and Mohammed "Zionist" Zoabi.
Christian Terror Victim Protected ‘Mohammed the Zionist’ from Terrorists
Latest Blogs Stories
Young Ultra Orthodox kids sit in a classroom in a school in the neighborhood of Neve Yaakov in Jerusalem

The crisis in Jewish education is of existential importance. How should it be resolved?

George Orwell was an anti-radical, anti-totalitarian socialist who admired the United States.

BBC GUIDELINES ON TERRORISM: The word “terrorist” itself can be a barrier rather than an aid…

Doug Goldstein

Discussion with entrepreneur William Heinecke on how he became a young, successful businessman

Alan Gross (L)

Did Cuba apologize for their spies the way Israel apologized for Pollard?

Nothing binds Jews together more than Torah observance; Or so one would think.

Sukkah tinsel decorations enjoy a robust market but are invariably manufactured for “another”holiday

A number of Israeli papers regurgitated a biased AP article on settlement growth, but they should have read it more carefully before hitting publish.

Many of the battles of the Maccabees were right here in the Shiloh area.

Both Labor and Likud are expected to get more seats in the upcoming elections.

Get a straight answer from Edward de Bono to the question: What is lateral thinking?

Jewish communities worldwide commemorate Yehudit during Chanukah by eating dairy foods in her honor

Israel’s problem isn’t Indyk, Obama, UN, NGOs or even the media; Our problem is much closer to home.

None of the attacks on Jewish & property should come as a surprise in light of the Temple Mount.

No surprise! Israel is now being blamed for Ziad Abu Ein’s death.

How does the new U.S. tax amnesty affect American citizens living in Israel and abroad?

The party chiefs are acting drunk and childish – making stupid mistakes and inadvertently showing their true selves – just like on Purim.

More Articles from Harry Maryles
Young Ultra Orthodox kids sit in a classroom in a school in the neighborhood of Neve Yaakov in Jerusalem

The crisis in Jewish education is of existential importance. How should it be resolved?

Torah scroll. (illustrative only)

Nothing binds Jews together more than Torah observance; Or so one would think.

When Rabbi Shafran, Chief Spokesman for Agudah talks about his own battle with heresy, that’s news.

The shelf life of parliamentary government is about 2 years, hardly enough time to get anything done

Obviously, the better part of caution is to report credible reports of abuse directly to the police.

And yet implementation of the most basic core secular curriculum is fiercely opposed by Charedi leaders. The pushback is harmful both to the State and to themselves. And yet they are blinded to the the obvious repercussions of such opposition. They argue that any government forced implementation of secular studies into the Charedi schools system […]

The Chilul HaShem of religious Jews-long beards&wearing religious garb-acting like inner-city thugs

My Rebbe, Rav Ahron Soloveichik, permits celebrating the day with a festive family turkey dinner.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/blogs/haemtza/can-a-therapist-destroy-a-marriage/2013/01/17/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: