…children who are spinning out of control, and who refuse any form of intervention, must understand that there are gedorim, red flags and lines which cannot be crossed while still using the home as a base once they have gone off the derech. There is no unconditional love in these circumstances. When a child does not want any help from therapists, psychologists, social workers, family members, rabbonim, he/she cannot expect that his/her parents will love him as before. Such a child must know and feel that the door is always open as long as he/she opens a pesach shel machat.
Having dealt firsthand with similar situations for over sixteen years, it is our very strong recommendation to parents that their message to their OTD child and his/her siblings be one of unconditional love with no exceptions. Love does not mean acceptance. It means that the place our children hold in our hearts is not diminished regardless of how much they disappoint or even hurt us.
About the Author: Harry Maryles runs the blog "Emes Ve-Emunah" which focuses on current events and issues that effect the Jewish world in general and Orthodoxy in particular. It discuses Hashkafa and news events of the day - from a Centrist perspctive and a philosphy of Torah U'Mada. He can be reached at email@example.com.The author's opinion does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Jewish Press.
If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.
Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.
If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.
- Israeli Death Rates from Most Cancers, Heart Disease, Among Lowest in OECD
on November 29, 2015 8:28 AM
- Update: Terrorist Killed in Jerusalem’s Old City, Policeman Wounded, Children Saved
on November 29, 2015 8:14 AM
- Ex-Adviser to Palestinian Authority says ‘Accept ISIS as Ugly Reality’
on November 28, 2015 11:00 PM
- Shi’ite Muslim Cleric Calls Kerry a ‘Terrorist’
on November 28, 2015 10:10 PM
- An Angry Russia Moves S-400 Antiaircraft Missile Systems into Syria
on November 28, 2015 9:50 PM
- Arabic Writing Found Inside 4 EasyJet Fuel Panels
on November 28, 2015 9:40 PM
- ‘Christian State’ Threatens to Kill Muslims in Belgium
on November 28, 2015 9:27 PM
- UAE Insists Israel’s Abu Dhabi Office Plan Does Not Mean Recognition
on November 28, 2015 9:06 PM
- ‘Bad Timing’ of Christmas Hurts Chanukah Sales
on November 28, 2015 9:04 PM
- A Misquoted MK Michael Oren Analyzes President Obama
on November 28, 2015 8:55 PM
- Israel Allowing Russia to Fly Over Israeli Skies
on November 28, 2015 8:48 PM
- Terrorists Stab Man in Nahariya, Try to Knife Soldiers in Jordan Valley [video]
on November 28, 2015 6:55 PM
- Paris Massacre Mastermind Planned to Murder French Jews
on November 28, 2015 6:35 PM
- On This Violent ‘Day of Rage,’ a/k/a Friday, Closure Imposed on PA Villages
on November 27, 2015 9:17 PM
- In Wake of New Intifada Netanyahu Cabinet Reevaluating Letting the Palestinian Authority Collapse
on November 27, 2015 2:00 PM