…children who are spinning out of control, and who refuse any form of intervention, must understand that there are gedorim, red flags and lines which cannot be crossed while still using the home as a base once they have gone off the derech. There is no unconditional love in these circumstances. When a child does not want any help from therapists, psychologists, social workers, family members, rabbonim, he/she cannot expect that his/her parents will love him as before. Such a child must know and feel that the door is always open as long as he/she opens a pesach shel machat.
Having dealt firsthand with similar situations for over sixteen years, it is our very strong recommendation to parents that their message to their OTD child and his/her siblings be one of unconditional love with no exceptions. Love does not mean acceptance. It means that the place our children hold in our hearts is not diminished regardless of how much they disappoint or even hurt us.
About the Author: Harry Maryles runs the blog "Emes Ve-Emunah" which focuses on current events and issues that effect the Jewish world in general and Orthodoxy in particular. It discuses Hashkafa and news events of the day - from a Centrist perspctive and a philosphy of Torah U'Mada. He can be reached at email@example.com.
If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.
Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.
If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.
- BiPartisan U.S. Effort to Ensure Hamas Disarmed Before Ceasefire
on July 25, 2014 5:34 AM
- Breaking News: Two Palestinian Authority Arabs Killed in Violent Riot
on July 25, 2014 12:32 AM
- ‘Hamas Fired from UN School Area and Prevented Evacuation’ Says IDF
on July 24, 2014 11:54 PM
- Egypt Foils Suicide Bombing Attack on Israel
on July 24, 2014 11:13 PM
- Iron Dome Intercepts Rocket in Eilat
on July 24, 2014 10:30 PM
- Report: FAA Backed Down After Israeli Threat to Ramp Up
on July 24, 2014 9:25 PM
- 2 Injured in Mortar Strike in Eshkol
on July 24, 2014 8:16 PM
- Update: Hamas Misfired Rocket Hit UNRWA School where 17 Killed
on July 24, 2014 7:49 PM
- Yad Vashem: International Cmtee Must Protect Jews
on July 24, 2014 6:10 PM
- Netanyahu, Liberman Meet British Foreign Secretary
on July 24, 2014 5:41 PM
- Emergency Measures to Assist Residents of South
on July 24, 2014 5:17 PM
- Rivlin To Be Sworn In As President
on July 24, 2014 5:01 PM
- IDF Nabs 150 Terrorists
on July 24, 2014 4:12 PM
- US Jews Step Up for Israeli Kids
on July 24, 2014 3:37 PM
- Four Notes on The Situation
on July 24, 2014 3:27 PM