…children who are spinning out of control, and who refuse any form of intervention, must understand that there are gedorim, red flags and lines which cannot be crossed while still using the home as a base once they have gone off the derech. There is no unconditional love in these circumstances. When a child does not want any help from therapists, psychologists, social workers, family members, rabbonim, he/she cannot expect that his/her parents will love him as before. Such a child must know and feel that the door is always open as long as he/she opens a pesach shel machat.
Having dealt firsthand with similar situations for over sixteen years, it is our very strong recommendation to parents that their message to their OTD child and his/her siblings be one of unconditional love with no exceptions. Love does not mean acceptance. It means that the place our children hold in our hearts is not diminished regardless of how much they disappoint or even hurt us.
About the Author: Harry Maryles runs the blog "Emes Ve-Emunah" which focuses on current events and issues that effect the Jewish world in general and Orthodoxy in particular. It discuses Hashkafa and news events of the day - from a Centrist perspctive and a philosphy of Torah U'Mada. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.The author's opinion does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Jewish Press.
If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.
Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.
If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.
- Abbas Reshuffles Unity Govt with Hamas, Claims ISIS Is Already in Gaza, ‘No Sense Denying It’
on July 31, 2015 12:16 AM
- Munich City Council Upholds Ban on Tiny Holocaust Memorial Bricks
on July 30, 2015 11:59 PM
- 6 Stabbed in Jerusalem ‘Gay Pride’ Parade by Haredi Repeat Gay Stabber
on July 30, 2015 8:40 PM
- NGO Monitor Poses 10 Questions over Amnesty Report on Israeli ‘War Crimes’
on July 30, 2015 7:56 PM
- Tel Aviv Ranked #1 Startup Ecosystem Outside the US
on July 30, 2015 7:45 PM
- Netanyahu: ’24-Day Window for Inspections Really is 3 Months’
on July 30, 2015 7:09 PM
- Queens Democratic Congresswoman Breaks Ranks and Opposes ObamaDeal
on July 30, 2015 6:47 PM
- Orthodox Rabbis to Lobby near Rosh HaShanah against Deal with Iran
on July 30, 2015 6:03 PM
- Weather Forecast: 100 Degrees in Jerusalem
on July 30, 2015 6:00 PM
- Two Polls Show Most Americans Oppose ‘ObamaDeal’
on July 30, 2015 5:02 PM
- Canada Buys Iron Dome Radar Technology from Israel
on July 30, 2015 3:33 PM
- Foreign Ministry Calls Sunni Arab Nations ‘Israel’s Allies’
on July 30, 2015 3:20 PM
- Turkey Accuses Kurdish PKK Terror Group of Teaming With ISIS
on July 30, 2015 2:43 PM
- Israeli Military Medics Rescue Palestinian Arab Girl in Hebron
on July 30, 2015 1:46 PM
- Tears From 2 Security Officers, Refusals to Expel Sa-Nur Families
on July 30, 2015 12:58 PM