…children who are spinning out of control, and who refuse any form of intervention, must understand that there are gedorim, red flags and lines which cannot be crossed while still using the home as a base once they have gone off the derech. There is no unconditional love in these circumstances. When a child does not want any help from therapists, psychologists, social workers, family members, rabbonim, he/she cannot expect that his/her parents will love him as before. Such a child must know and feel that the door is always open as long as he/she opens a pesach shel machat.
Having dealt firsthand with similar situations for over sixteen years, it is our very strong recommendation to parents that their message to their OTD child and his/her siblings be one of unconditional love with no exceptions. Love does not mean acceptance. It means that the place our children hold in our hearts is not diminished regardless of how much they disappoint or even hurt us.
About the Author: Harry Maryles runs the blog "Emes Ve-Emunah" which focuses on current events and issues that effect the Jewish world in general and Orthodoxy in particular. It discuses Hashkafa and news events of the day - from a Centrist perspctive and a philosphy of Torah U'Mada. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.
Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.
If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.
- Former NSA Blasts Netanyahu
on August 28, 2014 12:11 PM
- US Embassy Personnel Collect Israeli Drone Parts After Crash Near Baghdad
on August 28, 2014 11:49 AM
- Israel Ambassador to UN Demands Action Against Hamas
on August 28, 2014 11:27 AM
- Spanish Imam Prays for ‘Destruction of Jews’ Near Madrid
on August 28, 2014 11:14 AM
- Shelling on the Golan Heights: Syria Testing Israel’s Resolve?
on August 28, 2014 10:42 AM
- Syrian Rocket Hits Israel Overnight
on August 28, 2014 10:37 AM
- Hamas Arrests 15 More “Collaborators”
on August 28, 2014 10:19 AM
- Hamas Negotiator Attacked, Both Legs Broken
on August 28, 2014 10:08 AM
- Hamas’s Ismail Haniyeh Hospitalized
on August 28, 2014 9:49 AM
- Vast Majority of Gazan Arabs Support Terror Against Israel
on August 28, 2014 8:55 AM
- Netanyahu Tries to Sell Bill of Goods that Israel Won Goals in the War
on August 27, 2014 10:07 PM
- Israeli Wounded from Syrian Shelling on Golan
on August 27, 2014 8:05 PM
- Another Hamas Ceasefire Cemented in Future War
on August 27, 2014 7:40 PM
- Iran: “We Will Rearm the West Bank”
on August 27, 2014 7:29 PM
- No News Is Bad News in Search for Yeshiva Student Aaron Sofer
on August 27, 2014 6:51 PM