…children who are spinning out of control, and who refuse any form of intervention, must understand that there are gedorim, red flags and lines which cannot be crossed while still using the home as a base once they have gone off the derech. There is no unconditional love in these circumstances. When a child does not want any help from therapists, psychologists, social workers, family members, rabbonim, he/she cannot expect that his/her parents will love him as before. Such a child must know and feel that the door is always open as long as he/she opens a pesach shel machat.
Having dealt firsthand with similar situations for over sixteen years, it is our very strong recommendation to parents that their message to their OTD child and his/her siblings be one of unconditional love with no exceptions. Love does not mean acceptance. It means that the place our children hold in our hearts is not diminished regardless of how much they disappoint or even hurt us.
About the Author: Harry Maryles runs the blog "Emes Ve-Emunah" which focuses on current events and issues that effect the Jewish world in general and Orthodoxy in particular. It discuses Hashkafa and news events of the day - from a Centrist perspctive and a philosphy of Torah U'Mada. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.The author's opinion does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Jewish Press.
If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.
Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.
If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.
- The Arab Spring of Anarchy Has Come to Israel
on October 9, 2015 4:57 PM
- Tsfat Chief Rabbi Eliyahu: Soldiers Who Let Captured Terrorists Live Must Be Prosecuted
on October 9, 2015 4:15 PM
- Waiting for Rockets as Gazans Reportedly Killed in Border Clashes with IDF
on October 9, 2015 4:03 PM
- Shanghai Magnet School Offering Hebrew, Language of the ‘Smart People’
on October 9, 2015 3:34 PM
- Terrorist Captured in Afula
on October 9, 2015 1:50 PM
- Israeli Startup Launching World’s First Privately-Funded Moon Landing
on October 9, 2015 1:15 PM
- Only 0.3% of Yearly Visitors to Temple Mount Are Jews
on October 9, 2015 1:04 PM
- Arab MK Zoabi Who Swore Allegiance to Jewish State: I Don’t Take Orders from Israel
on October 9, 2015 12:58 PM
- Terrorist Shot Dead after Stabbing Policeman in Kiryat Arba [video]
on October 9, 2015 12:53 PM
- Stabbing in Jerusalem
on October 9, 2015 12:16 PM
- Jerusalem Arabs Indicted for Plot to Bring Pipe Bombs to Temple Mount
on October 9, 2015 11:34 AM
- Russia and Israel Quietly Collaborating on Attacks in Syria
on October 9, 2015 11:06 AM
- Updated: Jewish Teen Stabs 4 Arab in Dimona “I thought they were terrorists”
on October 9, 2015 9:56 AM
- PM Netanyahu’s Statement on the Ongoing Arab Terrorism
on October 9, 2015 7:49 AM
- UK Wants EU to Speed Up Deportations as Winter Approaches
on October 9, 2015 2:38 AM