PreOccupied Territory

The Ayatollah grew to think he established almost a birthright to shape US Iran policy during the Obama administration.

“I’m not looking forward to when things open up and my wife starts asking why I’m not going.”

“You don’t exploit that crowded situation to turn the wife, kids, and sisters into human shields? What kind of warped thinking is that?

“It’s all political, and if an Arab country wants to normalize, they can just do it? That can’t be.”

Israeli travelers took to focusing on what they do best while out of the country: making themselves and their countrymen look like spoiled, whiny, provincial ingrates.

"certain unnamed contractors who continue to claim they need fees to cover various zoning variances and building permits for the Third Temple and other, associated facilities, when in fact no such fees were stipulated in the contract.”

“We find slightly more support for the idea that Israel should rely on existential enemies to help guarantee its security.”

UK and EU opposition, though by no means unified, comes against the backdrop of two thousand years of European and other dominant powers trying to prevent Jewish sovereignty anywhere.

“I think he means it,” argued Yesha Freier of the nationalist Jewish Right at Home Party.

“Those consequences will be hard to discern unless we specify them, because they will consist of the same continued attempts to rid the territory between the River and the Sea of Jews.”

A spokesman for De Blasio’s all-white, all-male public relations team declined to address the mayor’s uncharacteristic opposition to Jews in camps.

The timing of the Exodus narrative according to traditional dating places it centuries later than many of the pyramids.

A pilgrimage festival under current circumstances will prove an epidemiological nightmare.

The Countdown Begins: Sefirat Ha"Leftovers"

Police will reassign officers who until now have guarded synagogues, yeshivas, and other Jewish community institutions.

I define antisemitism ontologically as a product of white supremacy, making antisemitism by others – Black Hebrew Israelites, Muslims, whoever – impossible.

Officials admitted they find it difficult to identify any phenomenon other than Rabin’s assassination that paints the left in a positive light and the right in a negative one, given that the left’s policies resulted in so much carnage.

An official from Russia’s intelligence agency admitted his organization failed to maintain adequate data security.

To prevent the embarrassing discovery that the disgraced Barak has anything to do with him.

When Moses, after four hundred years of wandering through the wilderness, finally led he Palestinian People into the land Allah promised to their ancestor Cain.

Jews view the Temple Mount, the site of two ancient shrines and the focal point of Jewish longing for thousands of years, as the most sacred location in their religion, but no one cares what Jews think or feel.

“Ms. Tlaib expressed our aims as succinctly as anyone could.”

The pace of party registration with the Board of Elections has jumped ahead of the birth rate, such that if both rates continue their current trends, parties will outnumber Israeli voters by the first half of 2023.

Love at first fight...

“If we want our children safer in school, in the streets, and at home, we need to ban firearms; if we want our children to have enough to eat and a comfortable life, we need to ban poverty.”

“At the annual checkup Iran has asked numerous times what the procedure entails, and never hesitates to delve into every detail.”

Only the Jewish-controlled media--supported by Jewish money--have the power to spread such falsehoods as my being an antisemite.

“Being an aggregator and posing as something original isn’t even original,” he added. “Tzipi Livni did it first.”

People of conscience everywhere must protest. So let us rise up now and fight the erasure of Palestinians from The Flintstones.

Even a soldier who was only seventeen at war’s end would be pushing ninety today.