web analytics
December 27, 2014 / 5 Tevet, 5775
 
At a Glance
Blogs
Sponsored Post
8000 meals Celebrate Eight Days of Chanukah – With 8,000 Free Meals Daily to Israel’s Poor

Join Meir Panim’s campaign to “light up” Chanukah for families in need.



If I Were Prime Minister: the Gov’t of an Anarcho-Capitalist

The finance minister will be me and only me, and I will cut everyone’s budget by 100% and return all the money to the taxpayers who it was stolen from.
Yair-Lapid_2460308b-

Note: This is satire, but does accurately reflect my feelings towards the Israeli government.

While I do not believe in the legitimacy of any government to exist at all, if I were forced to be Israel’s prime minister at gunpoint (it could happen any day now) and I had to name ministers, what would my government look like, and who would be in it?

I started thinking about this for more than a fraction of a second when I saw who got what in the divvying up of ministerial positions. So-and-so is minister of “strategic affairs.” Some other guy is minister of “agriculture.” Another idiot is in charge of “water,” because after all, if some politician who knows nothing about water supplies is not in charge of all of our water, we’ll all thirst to death and the Kinneret will turn into sewage overnight. This has already happened twice back before politicians were in charge of water.

And agriculture. Thank goodness a politician who knows absolutely nothing about how to grow food is in charge of the entire agriculture sector so he can tell us what we can import, export, buy, sell, when and where and how. Otherwise no one would be able to grow any food and we’d all starve.

But, OK, let’s assume I had to build a government and name ministers. Who would they be? First of all, I’d build a coalition of 120 MK’s and include everyone in my government by promising everyone a ministerial position. First, I would name Yair Lapid Minister of Male Grooming. He will be responsible for training all men in the state who can’t groom themselves and look like shlubs, how to look decent, improve their smiles, and generally look kempt. I will pay him $500 a month and give him a budget of $20 all out of my own pocket, and if he goes over that amount, I will fire him and give his job to Ahmed Tibi.

Instead of only one agriculture minister, there will be 5 ministers of one lima bean plant. These 5 people will be Liberman, Silvan Shalom, Tzipi Livni, and two of the smartest apes I can find in the Jerusalem Biblical Zoo. They will all fight over how to regulate the lima bean plant and can pass whatever ministerial orders they want on how to restrict, tax, and at what age to draft the lima bean plant into the army, but nothing else. If they start fighting, they’re all fired, except for the apes, who can continue regulating at will.

There will be an Interior Minister, but he will only be in charge of regulating the interior of his Knesset office. In fact, everyone in my government can be an Interior Minister. They can all decorate them with lima beans they get from the Lima Bean Plant ministers on the off chance that the 5 lima bean plant ministers haven’t regulated and taxed the lima bean plant to death. I’ll give them each a shekel to buy some gum for their offices from my own pocket.

There will also be a Culture and Sport minister. (Yes, in Israel, there actually is a politician in charge of “culture and sport”. Because without politicians, we’d forget how to play soccer and be cultural.) The culture and sport minister will be Gidon Sa’ar, who word has it likes to go to night clubs. His job will be going to night clubs once a week and writing a report about the number of flies on the ceiling of the night club. If he doesn’t write the report every single week and submit it to my desk (This Week: Eight Flies), he will be fired and his position will not be filled.

The foreign minister will be nobody, as I’m not interested in talking to other state leaders.

The education minister will be nobody, as I’m not interested in telling parents how to educate their kids.

The housing minister will be nobody, as I’m not interested in telling people where they can and can’t build and live.

The communications minister will be nobody, as I am not interested in telling people how they can communicate and what cell phones they can buy for how much.

About the Author: Rafi Farber blogs at SettlersofSamaria.org.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

6 Responses to “If I Were Prime Minister: the Gov’t of an Anarcho-Capitalist”

  1. Charlie Hall says:

    " I do not believe in the legitimacy of any government to exist at all".

    Why is this nonsense getting a forum here?

  2. Mark Pelta says:

    Open borders in Israel ftw!!!!111!

  3. Jacob Alperin-Sheriff says:

    Samaria is Somalia if pronounced by a Japanese person.

  4. Charlie Hall says:

    Good point, Jacob — Somalia is the one place on Earth without any legitimate government. I suggest that all libertarians and anarchists move there.

  5. Rafi Farber says:

    Charlie, North Korea is the place with the most powerful State apparatus on the planet. I suggest all Statists move there. Enjoy the food. Somalia is much better as an anarchy than it would be as a State. Compare apples to apples.

  6. Rafi Farber says:

    Charlie, North Korea is the place with the most powerful State apparatus on the planet. I suggest all Statists move there. Enjoy the food. Somalia is much better as an anarchy than it would be as a State. Compare apples to apples.

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Ayala Shapira, 11, is fighting for her life after suffering burn wounds when an Arab terrorist threw a Molotov cocktail at the car in which she was riding.
‘Slight Improvement’ in Life-threatening Condition of Firebomb Victim
Latest Blogs Stories
Stairway to success!

My stairs had been built, big and strong-BUT ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE APARTMENT!

HaTnua Party Meeting

Is his article satire? Or does Kai Bird really think Tzipi Livni heads a “center-right” party?

Shabbat Table

Much as I’d like to see the Jewish nation fully observant forcing Shabbat on people is NOT the way.

Loyalty seems to be a lost trait in Israeli politics, whether it’s to ideals, principles or parties.

Apartment hunting is kinda like dating: You go see anything that looks right on paper-and pray.

Latest headlines say that Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu’s Likud may only make third place if…

What are the roles of leadership and communication in running a “tight ship”?

Sabraman: Israel’s first superhero, combining the courage of the Sabra and the faith of Abraham.

Is Haredi open-ended learning on charity better than earning a living that would obviate that?

Hanuka is the miracle of emunah- belief in the L-rd of Israel and the light of our faith.

Limiting Jewish success and revival is that the anti-Jewish, anti-History Left rules here in Israel

The crisis in Jewish education is of existential importance. How should it be resolved?

BBC GUIDELINES ON TERRORISM: The word “terrorist” itself can be a barrier rather than an aid…

Discussion with entrepreneur William Heinecke on how he became a young, successful businessman

Did Cuba apologize for their spies the way Israel apologized for Pollard?

More Articles from Rafi Farber
investing-in-gold_4548807_lrg

We would see a massive transfer of wealth away from the banks and the government and the stock market and real estate which will all crash and back to the wage earning middle class who would then be earning gold.

Ron-Paul

People, we are being hoodwinked. No matter what the government says, the government does not define marriage, nor can it.

The finance minister will be me and only me, and I will cut everyone’s budget by 100% and return all the money to the taxpayers who it was stolen from.

In an interview with Galei Yisrael radio station, Likud MK Moshe Feiglin hinted he has a secret plan to help free Jonathan Pollard.

All Feiglin really should say is that the gay community should do whatever it wants, raise its own money, and stop trying to legislate laws which cost money and force unwilling people to pay for something they don’t believe in.

There should be no central bank which regulates the supply of money.

Bibi wants the smallest Likud possible while still maintaining his PM seat.

There is nothing qualitatively different between a trillion dollar coin, and a one dollar bill.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/blogs/settlers-of-samaria/if-i-were-prime-minister-the-govt-of-an-anarcho-capitalist/2013/03/24/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: