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People, we are being hoodwinked. No matter what the government says, the government does not define marriage, nor can it, not any more than it can define friendship. All it can do is promise to steal from us less if we engage in whatever relationship The Man endorses.

But in Israel the situation is even more ludicrous. In Israel, the State taxes you MORE if you get married because single parents get tax benefits. So you have people in Israel arguing with each other about who can “legally get married” and who “cannot get married” essentially fighting each other NOT over who gets a tax BREAK, but rather who gets the merit of being taxed MORE by the government, in exchange for precious, precious State recognition. State sanction to “marriage” is so important to people that no one can see how Uncle Shmuel is simply playing both sides against each other and collecting from both as we duke it out.

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This is why marriage should absolutely be outlawed. NOBODY should have the right to be married. Not gays, not straights, not Jews to Arabs, not Arabs to Jews, not polygamists, not polyandrists, nobody.

Someone might say “Marriage has been around for thousands of years! How can it be outlawed?” Marriage has been around for thousands of years. Just as friendship has. If there were friendship licenses, those should be abolished as well, as their only purpose would be to promise us to steal a penny less in return for us funding a gigantic friendship government bureaucracy. The house always wins. It seems to me the institution of friendship, whatever that is, survives wonderfully without government recognition and intervention. So will the institution of marriage, whatever that is. For thousands more years to boot.

If you want to be married to anybody, you have to do it without any legal recognition. You will have to do it in private, without the government’s knowledge, and you will not be allowed to be taxed more for being privately married. Sorry, you’ll have to keep your money in exchange for not having any government recognition of who you marry.

To get to this ideal, I call upon a national boycott of all government sanctioned marriages. Paying bureaucrats for marriage licenses should be a crime. Participating in any way in the marriage license boondoggle should be frowned upon and shunned.

Marriage should return to the private sphere and outlawed as a public institution. Then we can stop fighting with each other over who gets to be stolen from more in exchange for government recognition of marital status.

Imagine for a moment we could have a debate about something that actually mattered instead of get distracted by who gets government recognition while they get all of our money.

Visit Settlers of Samaria.

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5 COMMENTS

  1. That could be done. Rabbis could theoretically perform private ceremonies. But the problem is that the rabbi will want to know if it is halachically permissible for the couple to marry. In order to do that records are necessary. I know this is semi-satirical, but I think the libertarians really mean it. Just explain how you would do it. Also what happens to agunot without state sanction for the rabbinate to pressure husbands to give a get or wives to accept one without extortion? The world wants to know.

  2. That could be done. Rabbis could theoretically perform private ceremonies. But the problem is that the rabbi will want to know if it is halachically permissible for the couple to marry. In order to do that records are necessary. I know this is semi-satirical, but I think the libertarians really mean it. Just explain how you would do it. Also what happens to agunot without state sanction for the rabbinate to pressure husbands to give a get or wives to accept one without extortion? The world wants to know.

  3. Yehoshua – There's not much to explain. Give people freedom and they'll do what they want. Those who want halachic marriages will get them. Those who don't, will do what they want. Those who want gittin will get and private groups will enforce on recalcitrant husbands. Boycotts, whatever. Those who don't won't. And those who care can make lists. Those who don't care can ignore them. How was it done before 1948? Seems it worked fine until the State got involved.

  4. The Rabbinate had authority over Jewish marriage and divorce in Mandatory Palestine as well. The difference between then and now is that the family structure was much more intact then and it was a lot easier to follow who was Jewish. There were fewer intermarriages and fewer divorces. Life was a lot simpler.

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