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September 1, 2014 / 6 Elul, 5774
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Come Home, Ms. Shapiro, It’s All Good

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Photo Credit: Moshe Shai/Flash90

Lynne Shapiro commented on my article Am I Jewish Enough? Depends which Government Ministry You’re Asking, which in turn was my comment on an article by Judy Maltz, in both Haaretz and the Forward, Jewish Enough for Birthright — But Not for Israel: Kafkaesque Dilemmas Bedevil Would-Be Immigrants.

“OK Mr.,” Shapiro opened with an admirable vigor, “I am Jewish through a Reform Converted mother and a born to a Jewish mother father and have been more so living a Jewish life since he died and I became his Kaddish in my uncle’s Conservative Egalitarian synagogue (at his insistence). So if I’m not Jewish enough for you to return to Israel, why would I want to give any funds to any group that gives money to Israel as I have done over the years?”

And she added, in a separate comment:

“Also my Reform Convert mother was a total and complete Zionist and made me one! This ‘who is Jew’ is like what the Nazis did to determine who went to the camps IMHO (in my humble opinion)!”

Dear Ms. Shapiro,

First, whatever money you’ve donated to Israel through any group, most of it stays in America, to support the group’s works there, and to pay for the fundraising overhead. Israel’s economy at this point is a lot stronger and more boisterous than that of the U.S., and you should keep your money over there, we don’t need it.

Especially if you’re going to wave it in our faces every time we do something you dislike. Hold on to the money, buy yourself something nice, let’s not base our friendship on your ever diminishing U.S. dollar.

Next, as I understand the current Law of Return, your credentials are good enough to be accepted here as a citizen as soon as your arrive. In fact, they’ll probably make you a citizen even earlier, at the nearest Israeli consulate. They did that with my wife, Nancy, back in NYC, in the fall of 2011.

But why do you care about that? You ain’t planning to come here – you’re just working out a sweat over the fact that if ever you had decided to come over and make aliyah, then Israel would reject you. The problem is not with Israel in this case, but with you.

If you and the rest of America’s Jews knew what’s good for them, they’d be cramming the airports, looking to get out and make it to a safe haven in the Jewish State. IMHO, if you’re so familiar with what the Nazis did—use that acquired wisdom and get out of there while the getouting is good. We will embrace you and accept you and love you, no matter how your Mom converted. You can check it with your local Jewish Agency or Nefesh B’Nesfesh. Locate your nearest office of either and give them a call.

I wish all of us have learned a lesson from the Nazis. The late Lubavitcher Rebbe of righteous memory (who departed almost 20 years ago), used to say that we should learn from the Gestapo: how dedicated they were in seeking out every last Jew, no matter how far and how well hidden. We, too, must seek the hidden, faraway Jews, with the same dedication and self sacrifice as those Nazis, may God obliterate their memory.

So now you have it, holy sister – come home, call me up, I’ll take you to the Netanya beach, buy you a drink, point at the baby blue sky and the blue-green Mediterranean and say, Welcome home.

About the Author: Yori Yanover has been a working journalist since age 17, before he enlisted and worked for Ba'Machane Nachal. Since then he has worked for Israel Shelanu, the US supplement of Yedioth, JCN18.com, USAJewish.com, Lubavitch News Service, Arutz 7 (as DJ on the high seas), and the Grand Street News. He has published Dancing and Crying, a colorful and intimate portrait of the last two years in the life of the late Lubavitch Rebbe, (in Hebrew), and two fun books in English: The Cabalist's Daughter: A Novel of Practical Messianic Redemption, and How Would God REALLY Vote.


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5 Responses to “Come Home, Ms. Shapiro, It’s All Good”

  1. From what I know of history, always open to disagreement, half of us cannot recognize the threat the rest of the world represents, another half of that try to apologize for them, embrace them, even join them, and a few live to tell the tale few listen to. I’m not sure what is going on in Israel will remedy this.

  2. I’ve never seen that before in social media although I guess it happens all the time–someone taking a Partial set of feelings one expresses on a topic in a comment then making money from such writing an article violating our Jewish “law” if you will not to make someone’s face red in public in something that will come up on a google search of my name as well. No one will be able to do that again from me anywhere else on the Internet again for sure. A mensch would have contacted me and asked more about how I felt.

  3. Moishe Pupik says:

    Didn't she comment openly with her name? It's not like he outed her — she entered a comment and he answered it. And, in my opinion, he answered it in a menschy and even loving way. He laso didn't let her get away with just dumping something and walking off.

  4. Dan Silagi says:

    Yes, Yori, there's a Nazi under every bed in the USA, the country that defeated them 69 years ago. And there are Nazis in the attic, in the basement, in every crawl space; in fact, the USA is crawling with them. By this time next year, I predict the Horst Wessel Lied will have replaced the Star Spangled Banner, and the red, white and blue will have been supplanted by the red, white, and black.

    Mrs. Shapiro IS home, she lives in the greatest country on earth, one where there is absolute freedom of religion.

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