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September 29, 2016 / 26 Elul, 5776
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Gun Appreciation Day Is Coming – Do your Shopping Early

The Supreme Court and I differ on what the Second Amendment means in reality.

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1. Louisiana—18.03 per 100,000, 2. Wyoming—17.64, 3. Alabama—17.63, 4. Montana—17.03, 5. Mississippi—16.50, 6. Arkansas—16.09, 7. Nevada—15.36, 8. Tennessee—15.34, 9. Alaska—14.89, 10. New Mexico—14.88, 11. Oklahoma—14.46 per 100,000.

You notice a common denominator there? Yes, these are, by and large, states where inebriated rednecks can pick up a gun and a six pack on the same drunk shopping run and still make it to the barbecue with Mary Lou Johnson and her kid brother with the harelip.

You want to know where NY State stands on the same list of states?

It’s 47th. With 4.9 firearm deaths per 100,000, above New Jersey, Hawaii, and Massachusetts, otherwise known as the states where you’re not nearly as likely to be killed by a drunk NRA member as, say, Louisiana.

I wish to extend my sincere gratitude to Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Shelly Silver, Andrew Cuomo, and the entire plutocratic gang up in Albany, who helped so many of us to die as God had intended, from years of abuse of food and cigarettes, and from a lack of exercise.

Yori Yanover

About the Author: Yori Yanover has been a working journalist since age 17, before he enlisted and worked for Ba'Machane Nachal. Since then he has worked for Israel Shelanu, the US supplement of Yedioth, JCN18.com, USAJewish.com, Lubavitch News Service, Arutz 7 (as DJ on the high seas), and the Grand Street News. He has published Dancing and Crying, a colorful and intimate portrait of the last two years in the life of the late Lubavitch Rebbe, (in Hebrew), and two fun books in English: The Cabalist's Daughter: A Novel of Practical Messianic Redemption, and How Would God REALLY Vote.

The author's opinion does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Jewish Press.

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