1. I just know you are going to be outraged by this violation of the human rights of Arabs by Jews and will want to demand a full investigation and indictment of the guilty. Such things are simply intolerable in a civilized country. They violate the Road Map and the very Osloid foundations of Ariel Sharon’s new government.

The atrocity in question involves a Zionist woman tourist who was walking down a street in downtown Jerusalem when an oppressed and occupied Arab panhandler, aged 40, from the Eastern section of the city, asked her for some spare change. Now, as regular readers of my columns know, the responses I recommend to such requests would ordinarily be: 1. What do you think I am, a liberal? 2. Do I look like someone who recycles? 3. I’ll pay you a two cents for each pushup you do. 4. Why don’t you go bother a Democrat?

Anyway, this Zionist aggressor woman responded incorrectly and started taking out her wallet to hand this freedom fighter against occupation some coins. The peace partner then tried to grab her purse and run.

Ah, but the crimes of this Zionist female occupier are far more insidious. It turns out that as part of her career of aggression against occupied Islamic populations she managed to acquire a fifth-degree black belt in karate. She then had the gall to occupy the thief and instruct him on
some of the finer points of martial arts until he was rescued from his painful fate by a passing police patrol.

You must agree with me that her behavior was inexcusable. We expect Ha?aretz and the Meretz party to take up the cause of the victim of this Zionist aggression and demand that the victim be awarded proper compensation and perhaps a slab of Israeli territory for his own.

Perhaps he can serve in the new reformed administration of Abu Mazen.

………………………….

2. In Israel, every once in a while the government does something correct (albeit several years far too late) and one is overwhelmed with an irresistible desire to clap a single hand and say Well, Duh. Such must be the reaction to the decision by Sharon’s cabinet that the time has come to expel the many communist “peace protesters” who have filled the “territories” with offices in which terrorists are sheltered and who in general devote their days to protecting suicide bombers and other Palestinian mass murderers. They interfere with Israeli military operations, provoke soldiers, and do everything possible to make sure Israel cannot act against terrorists. They serve as humanoid shields for the man with the perpetual stubble on his face, and help prevent Israel from arresting murderers.

Well, Duh. It’s nice that at long last the government has woken up – but why were these pro-terrorists not expelled years ago? These “peace activists” care about peace about as much as Abu Mazen cares about this week’s haftarah.

As you know, the two terrorists who murdered three and injured 50 at a Tel Aviv pub last week carried UK passports. The press is as usual being coy, but I have a month’s wages bet on the probability that the two entered Israel as part of one of these international commie-front “peace activist groups,” perhaps the same one to which Rachel Corrie and her friends belonged.

(Corrie was killed by an Israeli bulldozer, or by the Palestinian medical care she got for her injuries, while playing a game of chicken with the bulldozer and winning. She belonged to the International Solidarity Movement (ISM), a pro-terrorism communist front organization.)

Were the two bombers also part of ISM? And since the ISM terrorhoids are being hosted by the various Israeli anti-Semitic far left organizations, were the two bombers also the welcome guests of such hosts? Did they lunch with Uri Avnery? (If so, poor Uri must have had to suffer a non-pork lunch in order not to offend the Muslim sensitivities of his guests.)

And while we are in the realm of Well Duh, now that Israel is at long last evicting and deporting the pro-terror “peaceniks,” how about sending alongside them some contingents of Israel’s own pro-terror far left “peace” activists, who could be expelled to more progressive
countries like Syria, Iran and North Korea? Rescue them from their sad fate of having to live under Israeli apartheid! Let them pick some cane for Fidel or eat some mice with the Darling Leader of North Korea!

Steven Plaut is a professor at Haifa University. His book “The Scout” is available through Amazon.com. He can be reached at [email protected] 
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Steven Plaut is a professor at the University of Haifa. He can be contacted at [email protected]