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March 27, 2015 / 7 Nisan, 5775
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An Open Letter to Max Blumenthal

Chloé Simone Valdary

Chloé Simone Valdary, president of Allies of Israel, University of New Orleans
Photo Credit: Lauren Clarice Cross

The following is an open letter written to Max Blumenthal after his lecture at Brandeis University on March 3, 2014, in which he verbally attacked Daniel Mael and Chloé Valdary for being Zionists:

Dear Mr. Blumenthal,

Our congratulations, sir, you’ve gone and done it! You’ve discovered our little secret! Our articles, our work in the Zionist movement for the past few years, the blood, sweat, and tears we have devoted to this cause, all of this has nothing to do with anything we firmly believe in. No, as it turns out, we are really puppets whose strings are being controlled by a mega Jewish, (ahem) Israel lobby, an all powerful Christian lobby with whom we have never actually had any association whatsoever, and also aliens from Mars who have deemed us to be the perfect pet project for their goals of world domination. We really have no idea how you have come to be so gifted in academic prowess as to make these conclusions, but we commend you for your wisdom, Mr. Blumenthal. Really, we bow to your intellectual preeminence.

As it turns out, we are either white, rich, evil, elitist Zionist who only cares about fellow white rich people, or black people who obviously have no capability to think for themselves. In fact, AIPAC flew us to policy conference so we could hang out with other rich whites and black preachers. You were also right about your anti-semitism: There is absolutely no possible way you are anti-Semitic. Even though you have mocked Jewish ritual prayer and advocated for boycotting the only Jewish state on the face of the earth, there’s absolutely 0% chance you could possibly hate the dignity and self-worth of your own people. We shouldn’t even touch on your wonderful love letter to Israel, Goliath.

The only possible explanation for our appearance is that we have been “sent” by the proverbial lobbying monsters mentioned above. We know, We know, we are utterly incapable of coming to any conclusions on our own with regard to this conflict; Our simple undergraduate minds are incompetent, and we have yet to acquire basic analytical skills at this point in our lives. In fact, this letter is probably being ghost written for us at this point in time. On the other hand, you, Mr. Blumenthal, have displayed such talent in moral acuteness as to deny an entire people their right to self-determination in their ancestral homeland. For this, we commend you for your dedication to the cause of humanity and justice.

Since you have found us out, we may as well list a few other things the Zionists are planning. We actually work for an organization called ‘The Elders of Zion.’ Perhaps you’ve heard of them? At any rate, we are one of their agents. As you can imagine, we are paid hefty sums of money, 4.6 billion dollars a year to be exact. We are in charge of disseminating information around the globe, regulating UN meetings in New York, controlling seagull calls, and sending signals to sharks in the deep blue sea. We elders also work closely with Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Cinderella’s sisters in controlling things that occur in the world. You see, we were the ones who made Cinderella’s glass slipper come off when the clock struck 12.

We are also behind the misinformation campaign that mischaracterizes Iran’s regime as evil and sinister. The Iranian regime is actually a democracy ruled by angels and ponies. The images on television of Iranian civilians being persecuted and oppressed are actually a vast conspiracy, a television show put on by Zionist actors and directors. The Iranian people are actually treated with kindness and goodness by their leaders; They are even given cute little treats from Candy Crush every day and some are even selected to visit Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory if they really behave.

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21 Responses to “An Open Letter to Max Blumenthal”

  1. Max Blumenthal may be an award-winning journalist (laughable). He may be a best selling author, blogger and producer (hilarious). He is also an embarrassment to the Jewish people (if in fact he is Jewish). He is nothing more than a self-hating anti-semite. Maybe he should stick to jobs that require his B.A. in history and not delve into areas that are beyond his education.

  2. You’ve said it well ↑ ↑ ↑ thanks

  3. Esther Cohen says:

    Chloé, kudos to you! more power to you! you put that turd in his place!

  4. John DeLancy says:

    okay. Now that Max Blumenthal has single-handedly defeated the conspiracy of the Ptotocols of the Learned Elders of Zion, we can go united into the Star Trek future. Oh what? The Muslims are bombing us for not following Sharia? that mus not be true! <BOOM!>

  5. LaRry FIne says:

    THE ONLY COMMENT THAT COMES TO MIND IS THAT MAX BLUMENTHAL (WHOM I BELIEVE IS JEWISH)AND HASJOINEDTHHORDES OF JEWS WHO WISH TO SHOW THEIR ALLIEGENCE TO THE IR COUNTRY WHICH IN ITSELF IS CORRECT BUT USE THEIR POSITION TO UNDERMINE THE ONLY COUNTRY THAT IS THE SPIRITUAL HOME TO MANY OF HIS PEOPLE AND ULTIMATELY THE PLACE THAT WILL RECEIVE THEM AS HISTORY HAS SHOWN ..LET MAX BLUMENTHAL AND THOSE LIKE HIM SEARCH THEIR INTELECT AND HEARTS AND REFRAIN FROM UNDERMINING THE COUNTRY AND ITS SUPPORTERS WHO KNOW THE FACTS AND ARE NOT BLINDED BY THE PROPAGANDA AND LIES THAT ARE PUT FORWARD BY THOSE WHO WISH TO REMOVE ISRAEL FROM THE MAP.

  6. Bravo !! He is an anti Semite and is hopefully as red faced as he deserves to be right now !

  7. Karen Bryant says:

    Awesome letter . But somehow I don’t think he’ll get it. He’s obviously challenged in practical truthful thinking and blind toward his own people.

  8. Tarek Saba says:

    If Max Blumenthal pissed you off than he is saying the truth and you maggots are having a hard time with it

  9. Well done and well written, Chloe and Daniel, fools like Blumenthal MUST be yelled down at every turn and shown to be lairs and hypocrites!

  10. Gary Katz says:

    If Max lived in 1943 Berlin, I could imagine this exchange between him and the Gestapo: Gestapo: "Papers, please?" Max: "Yes, Sir! Here they are! I'm a loyal German, yes I am!" Gestapo: "You are Juden. You must come with us!" Max: "But, I support der Fuehrer! I loved Krystallnacht!" Gestapo: "Irrelevant. You are Juden. You are under arrest." Max: "I wish I were in Israel!" The above scenario would've made a great "Twilight Zone" episode, don't you think?

  11. What is wrong with people… especially Jews who don’t support the greatness and wonder of Israel and don’t stand up to those who would destroy it… and financially support those in America who ARE NOT the friends of Israel. Whatever is going on with any other people group…Jews must stand firm & united against those who would destroy us. Israel & Jews have been undermined as a Nation and a People because of people like M. Blumenthal. There are far too many of those people in positions above their paygrade!

  12. Muriel Tebid says:

    Nothing more disappointing than a self-hating Jew.

  13. Henry Waxman says:

    thank you Chloe. Its one thing for a Jewish Zionist to put all that into perspective but when a 3rd party such as yourself makes these statements then your points take on a higher meaning. The critic will have a difficult time saying Jews are just a bunch of cry babies, because the remarks are being made by a 3rd party. The critic cant say your remarks are bias because you have no reason to be bias.

  14. Marcio Gekker says:

    We have our crazy and stupid people like any other group of the world. Mr. Blumenthal is the exception that confirms the rule.

  15. Well done guys. Blumenthal, well he is just a bloated legend in his own mind, he just refuses to evanesce.

  16. Perfectly written to a man who is a legend in his own demented mind. A self hating, poorest example of a Jew as possible. When he dies, he will most certainly not be welcomed by the G-d he so disdains. He will be whisked straight down to Hades/hell.

  17. Good letter, wonder how mr Blumenthal will respond

  18. Your repartee was entertaining; but unfortunately, I'm interested in serious dialog. If and when you get around to actually responding to the charges against Israel's claims for being a democratic, non-racist society contained in Blumenthal's book, Goliath, please let me know so I can tune back in.

  19. The indictments being beyond comtempt dont require any response beyond the one you just read. It is as clear as a bell even a jew hater can understand it.

  20. Unlike most of your other posters, I have met Max Blumenthal and carefully read his book. None of his critics actually respond to facts and interviews documented in his book. They cannot respond to the truth so they resort to the childish practice of calling him names. Get your heads out of the sand and act like humans.

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