Day 1

The New York Times reports that President Bush regularly holds clandestine gatherings among his hand-selected cronies, who devise federal policy in secret, as a sort of “shadow government.”

The White House issues a press release explaining that those gatherings are merely cabinet meetings, that every administration has them, and that the cabinet secretaries have all had their nominations confirmed by the Senate.

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Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid complains that the president did not consult the Democrats before holding any of these “so-called cabinet meetings,” and therefore that he’s violating the constitutional separation of powers. He adds that none of the secretaries was confirmed while the Democrats controlled the Senate, and argues that their nominations should all be resubmitted.

Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) appears on “Hardball,” where he likens the meetings to the activities of the Third Reich, which also conducted government business in secret.

Day 2

The Washington Post reports that, according to well-placed anonymous sources, Dick Cheney regularly attends these “so-called cabinet meetings,” raising the specter of Big Oil pulling the strings of government.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi points out that the White House made no mention of Cheney when it referenced the secretaries. She accuses Bush of deliberately concealing the VP’s role, and demands an investigation.

Day 3

On ABC’s “The View,” Rosie O’Donnell declares the president’s secret meetings with Dick Cheney to be a crime against humanity, and says that Saddam Hussein was shot over a lot less. Elisabeth Hasselbeck points out that Saddam was hanged, and not shot. O’Donnell responds by throwing a shoe at her.

Sen. Hillary Clinton says she can’t recall whether there were any cabinet meetings in her husband’s administration, but insists that if there were, they wouldn’t have been corrupted by Big Oil. In an interview with CNN’s Larry King, former president Bill Clinton says he never attended a cabinet meeting with Dick Cheney, and that he never met secretly with anybody in the White House.

Sen. Reid announces plans to subpoena all the cabinet secretaries, along with Vice President Cheney and Karl Rove, to appear at congressional hearings.

Day 4

A Gallup poll says that 64 percent of Americans disapprove of the president’s handling of the cabinet meeting scandal.

The Boston Globe cites anonymous sources who complain that Cheney’s prominence at the meetings intimidates some of the cabinet secretaries and leaves them “feeling bullied.” Thus, the report concludes, the president and vice president are “trampling minority rights.”

Democratic Party chairman Howard Dean charges that the Bush cabinet meetings are racist, because they are exclusive, secret gatherings of privileged white men. A reporter informs him that there are actually five non-white members of Bush’s cabinet, including Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. Dean quibbles with the characterization of Rice as non-white, saying, “A black chick with a Ph.D.? And who’s the secretary of defense, the Great Pumpkin?”

Day 5

In his first public statement regarding the scandal, President Bush seeks common ground with his detractors, agreeing in principle that nefarious plots are bad. He maintains that a president has every right to meet with his own cabinet, but concedes that the matter has been handled poorly.

In a joint press conference, Sen. Reid and Speaker Pelosi demand that since the president has admitted wrongdoing, he must honor their subpoenas and cooperate with their hearings. Republican Sen. John McCain praises Bush for having the courage to admit his mistakes, even if it ultimately leads to his impeachment.

With Rev. Jesse Jackson at his side, Dean apologizes to anybody who misunderstood his remark about Secretary Rice. Jackson says that if President Bush hadn’t been holding controversial secret meetings, Dean would have had no reason to discuss the cabinet, and so he would never have made the offending statement.

Day 6

Actor Kevin Bacon demands President Bush’s resignation. The president fires White House chief of staff Joshua Bolten in an effort to quell the ensuing media frenzy. Sen. Reid says that the dismissal is evidence of endemic corruption in the executive branch, and demands that every administration official who had been in contact with Bolten be forced to testify before Congress.

Mahmoud Ahmedinejad says the cabinet meeting scandal shows the world that President Bush cannot be trusted. Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) cites the Iranian president’s statement as proof that Bush has lowered America’s standing in the world.

Day 7

Republican senators openly spar over the growing controversy on “Meet the Press.” Sen. Arlen Specter calls the cabinet meetings “an exercise in dictatorship,” and vows to help the Democrats put an end to “this imperial presidency.”

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