web analytics
December 27, 2014 / 5 Tevet, 5775
 
At a Glance
InDepth
Sponsored Post
8000 meals Celebrate Eight Days of Chanukah – With 8,000 Free Meals Daily to Israel’s Poor

Join Meir Panim’s campaign to “light up” Chanukah for families in need.



Home » InDepth » Op-Eds »

Breaking The Fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd Chain

Perhaps whenever we receive or read about yet another terrible story concerning frum Jews, we should remind ourselves about how much good there is in our community.
Breaking the Fw:Fw:Fw Chain

Breaking the Fw:Fw:Fw Chain

I get the point. We all get the point. There are Jews who act inappropriately. There are Jews who look religious but who commit disgraceful acts when they think no one is looking.

There are Jews who shame us all. No one is denying that. But is it really necessary to forward to everyone we know every article in every newspaper or on every website that describes an incident in which a Jew did something wrong?

Let’s say the stories are completely true. And, for a moment, let’s even put aside the laws of lashon hora (as if that can be done). Is there something to be gained by every Orthodox Jew being aware of the shameful acts of fellow Orthodox Jews? Is there something to be gained by publicizing our own degradation?

It’s not as if we are aren’t aware that such things happen in our community.

We are charged to love every Jew. Granted, it’s not always easy to do so. But as any psychologist will tell you, it’s a matter of focus and perspective. In a cynical and sarcastic society, where we all suffer from jealousy, fantasies about everyone else having it better than we do, and all manner of inferiority complexes, we often zero in on the negative. We are quick to judge and condemn others, without seeing the whole picture.

But even when Jews have indeed acted reprehensibly, how can we love our own people if all we talk about is how they are doing things wrong, cheating, acting immorally and being lousy citizens?

If a person tells a therapist he feels lowly and worthless, the therapist will instruct him that for every negative thought he has about himself he must counter with five nice ones. The therapist may even insist he write the positives down and keep it logged in a journal for constant review.

Perhaps whenever we receive or read about yet another terrible story concerning frum Jews, we should remind ourselves about how much good there is in our community. What about those beautiful articles depicting the chesed, the heroes, the love and passion exhibited in furthering our service to Hashem? Those articles circulate, but not nearly with the same speed as the negative ones.

The level of Torah study and mitzvah observance today is beyond compare. Recently, a neighbor related that she arrived home from a tzedakah event and remarked to her husband that she was so proud to be a part of such a special people. Though she had attended many such events before, that night it struck her just how remarkable it is that they are so commonplace in our community. Virtually every night there are similar events taking place for the benefit of a myriad of organizations.

Tanna D’vei Eliyahu speaks glowingly about the intense pleasure God has, as it were, when we speak kindly of our fellow Jews. Rav Avrohom Pam, zt”l (quoted in Haggadas Mareh Kohain), dolefully noted that it is common to hear people, even people of stature, bemoaning the spiritual degeneration of our time.

Rav Pam said we must realize that God has no pleasure from such negative speech, adding that he wasn’t referring to one who rebukes or admonishes others. In such a case it is surely fitting to explain to someone (in a genial and gentle fashion) what he has done wrong. Rather, Rav Pam explained, he was referring to those who stand together “conversing about things.” While speaking, they begin to discuss people and events and they lament the spiritual erosion of our time.

If one wishes to find fault with Jews, “iz duh vos tzu g’foonin” – “there is what to find.” But if the purpose of one’s words is simply to speak negatively, he is doing a great disservice to the world.

About the Author: Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW is the Rabbi of Kehillat New Hempstead, as well as Guidance Counselor and fifth grade Rebbe in ASHAR, and Principal at Mesivta Ohr Naftoli of New Windsor. He can be reached at stamtorah@gmail.com. Visit him on the web at www.stamtorah.info.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

One Response to “Breaking The Fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd Chain”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Ayala Shapira, 11, is fighting for her life after suffering burn wounds when an Arab terrorist threw a Molotov cocktail at the car in which she was riding.
‘Slight Improvement’ in Life-threatening Condition of Firebomb Victim
Latest Indepth Stories
Bill Cosby

It shakes our sense of justice when allegations against a famed role model are covered up or ignored

MK Moshe-Feiglin

Feiglin: Only true liberty will allow us to genuinely connect to our Jewish identity.

Knesset Logo

The silver lining with early elections is the chance to change the current dysfunctional government.

Cohen-122614

The Holocaust Educational Trust Ireland informed the host he could not say “Israel or Jewish state”

It’s fascinating how sources attain the status “traditional,” or its equivalent level of kashrus.

The West needs to ensure Russia understands that aggression comes at a significant cost.

What benefit is a learning experience that leaves kids confused,disillusioned&harms self confidence?

Girlfriend and double cop-killer Ismaaiyl Brinsley apparently was influenced by Islamic extremism.

We see pictures of mosques, monuments for terrorists, illegal schools, and hundreds of apartments being built on Jewish land without repercussions. We are losing Jewish property, so it is up to us to protect it.

Thus, despite the increasingly serious problems for the mayor arising out of the current anti-police protests, Mr. de Blasio apparently will be cut no slack by those who seem to be aiming for a significant role in running the city from the streets and who will do whatever they can to prevent their momentum from ebbing.

Also left unsaid was the fact that the menorah and its oil were in the Beit HaMikdash, which of course was located on Har HaBayit – the Temple Mount that present-day Muslims claim as their own.

Despite strong pressure to throw the book at the accused, Mr. Thompson allowed him to plead guilty to assault.

A revolution is taking place between good and evil; light and darkness. Make the light activism!

Obama’s comments calling Israeli settlements “unhelpful”are harsher than prior US administrations’

More Articles from Rabbi Dani Staum
Parsha-Perspective-Logo-NEW

To many of our brethren Chanukah has lost its meaning.

Parsha-Perspectives-NEW

A person who truly feels that everything is a blessing from G-d will count his blessings and realize just how much he has.

Avraham became a great man during the 175 years of his life, while his predecessors became increasingly wicked, despite staggering knowledge, during their lifetimes of hundreds of years.

Often in life we become stuck – stuck in the morass of our habits and the rote of our comfort level.

The innkeeper smiled and replied, “Why do you think we are dancing? We are dancing because G-d destroyed the Bais HaMikdash!”

After listening to the driver’s incredible story, Rabbi Levenstein asked him, “What about you? After seeing such a miracle why didn’t you became Torah observant?”

Twelve of the greatest leaders of the nation, one from each shevet, were dispatched to survey the land. The results of that mission were catastrophic.

It is one thing to do a chesed for someone one time or when it is convenient. But for a person to go a few hours out of his way every year for a stranger demonstrates incredible selflessness.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/opinions/breaking-the-fwdfwdfwdfwdfwd-chain/2014/04/24/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: