web analytics
July 23, 2014 / 25 Tammuz, 5774
Israel at War: Operation Protective Edge
 
 
At a Glance
InDepth
Sponsored Post
IDC Advocacy Room IDC Fights War on Another Front

Student Union opens ‘hasbara’ room in effort to fill public diplomacy vacuum.



Home » InDepth » Op-Eds »

Everything I Dreamed Of In A Husband


Dr. Ivan Mauer

Dr. Ivan Mauer

My husband’s first yahrzeit is almost here and I am finally ready to write about him. The gaping hole his passing left in my heart is still there, but I have learned to fill it with the sweet memories of our life together.

Ivan was everything one could want in a mate: kind and considerate, loving and gentle, a scholar with a brilliant mind, caring and devoted. I suppose I could add additional superlatives but even then I don’t think I could do justice to all that he was.

He was a doctor – the old-fashioned kind who cared deeply about his patients and called them at home to see how they were doing. He took their troubles to heart and was never too busy to give them a listening ear when their troubles were more than just physical.

His practice included individuals who were mentally challenged, and he gave each of them the same loving care he gave to all.

I was at a pidyon haben one evening and as I sat down at an empty table, a woman came over and asked if she could sit with me. Of course I agreed. She said most people don’t like to sit with her. I smiled and told her she was most welcome.

She asked me my name. When I told her, she said, “Mauer? I once had a doctor named Dr. Mauer. I never knew anyone like him. He made me feel as important as everyone else. He didn’t know it, but I used to go to him even when I felt well, because he made me feel good. Now he died and I don’t have a doctor any more.”

I know from his office that she was echoing the sentiments of all his patients.

He was a devoted friend and called people near and far every Friday before Shabbos. More than twenty years after he left Los Angeles, he was still calling his dear friends there every week.

“That is how you show someone that you care about them,” he explained to me when I questioned him about it. And it mattered little to him where he called to reach them – whether it was Israel or any other part of the world, if it was Erev Shabbos, he was calling to wish them a Good Shabbos.

And he spoke to everyone. It wasn’t just that he said hello to the porter and the janitor and whoever else crossed his path. He asked them how they were and how their families were. To him everyone deserved to be treated with dignity. Once when we were getting our car, the garage attendant told my husband he didn’t feel well. Our evening plans were put on temporary hold as my husband listened to his complaints and checked him out. Imagine the surprise of the people who came into the garage for their cars, only to see the garage attendant being examined by a doctor.

He had a tremendous regard for the rabbinate. He valued all knowledge, but he held rabbis in the highest esteem. He might disagree with individual rabbis but he always respected their Torah knowledge.

The late Rabbi Simon Dolgin remained his rabbi throughout his lifetime. But he also considered Rabbi Maurice Lamm his rabbi, and Rabbi Eliezer Waldman of Kiryat Arba was not only his rabbi but a dearly beloved friend as well. When we discovered Rabbi Berel Wein in Jerusalem, he too became Ivan’s rabbi, and whenever we were in Israel he wouldn’t miss a single shiur. When we were in New York we played his tapes every day on the way to and from work.

The greatest present one could give Ivan was a book. He was a voracious reader and could be reading more than one large volume at a time. On occasion when we knew the author, we were offered a copy of the book. Ivan would refuse. He wanted to buy the book and only then would he bring it to the author to autograph.

As a father he tried to give his children strength. After his first wife Gail (the mother of his children) died, he was devastated but understood it would be his example that would help them move forward. It’s easy to give up. It takes work to push forward when you don’t want to. That was Ivan, moving forward and doing what had to be done, honestly and with strength. And it was that example he gave to his children together with his love and encouragement.

For me, he was everything I had dreamed of finding in a husband. His love and devotion sustained me no matter what was happening in my life. He made me laugh, he made me feel smart, he was a comfort when I cried and he valued the Torah lifestyle we led together. He treated my parents as if they were his, and they in turn loved him like a son.

About the Author: Naomi Klass Mauer is associate publisher of The Jewish Press.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

Please use the Facebook Tab below to leave your comment:

4 Responses to “Everything I Dreamed Of In A Husband”

  1. Dov Gilor says:

    Those of us who knew Ivan, loved him and enjoyed his friendship and brilliance. It was a terrible loss when he left us. Dov Gilor

  2. This article was written straight from the heart. I had the privilege of knowing Ivan, and everything his wife has written about him, is true. He was a man of immense knowledge, integrity and kindness and concern. His loss is felt not just by his wife and family or his patients, but by everyone who met him for in so many ways he was a giant of a man and made a wonderful impression wherever he went.

  3. This article was written straight from the heart. I had the privilege of knowing Naomi’s husband, and he was everything she described – a man of great knowledge, culture, compassion and integrity. His loss is great.

  4. I was struck by Ivan’s genteel mannerisms when I stayed in your home. He was a true “ben adam.”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Loading Facebook Comments ...
Loading Disqus Comments ...
Current Top Story
Map of Hamas terror bases and tunnel adjacent to hospital in Jabaliya in northern Gaza. July 22, 2014.
Hospital Abused by Hamas Terrorists Struck by IDF
Latest Indepth Stories
Haredi soldiers of the Neztah Yehuda Battalion fight for Israel while maintaining Torah study in the army,

We mourn the dead, wish a speedy recovery to the wounded, and pray that God guides the government.

The Israel Test

Charges from the court of world public opinion and their refutations.


It is up to our government to ensure that their sacrifices were not made for short-term gains.

.

Supporting Israel, the only democracy in the Middle East, has become dangerous in Malmo.

Proportionality Doctrine:The greater the military gain the greater the justifiable collateral damage

Regional pro-US Arab countries rely on Israel as a deterrence to rogue Islamic regimes.

He has always supported the underdog, once even quite literally, legislating a law that prohibits the abandonment of pets.

Temech is about providing a community – a place where religious women can learn, collaborate and refresh themselves with like-minded people.

Netanyahu has decided that the lives of Israeli are more important than looking good for Obama, U.N. and the NY Times.

Many Jews join the Israel-haters with their progressive ideology and politically correct obsessions.

“The will to triumph is a prerequisite for victory.” Abba Kovner

How can you run away from Israel and all the things that have shaped your life?

It’s as if Hamas has pulled a page out of Pharaoh’s handbook.

“Am HaNetzach Eino Mefached Mi Derech Aruka” (An eternal people doesn’t fear the long journey).

Isn’t it comforting to know that our God loves life, grants life, and promises eternal life?

More Articles from Naomi Klass Mauer
Adahan-062014

Abusive men are usually on their best behavior before marriage. But they do provide clues.

“It’s the one time and place where so many people can come together and tell the world that we support Israel.”

The new soldiers received a gun and a Tanach, in which the “deed” to the land of Israel is found.

My involvement with Frum Divorce corresponds to a lot of the work I do at The Jewish Press helping agunot and others going through divorce.

Almost every year I am invited to attend the grand banquet of the International Shluchos Convention, the climax of a four-day weekend that attracts some 2,500 Chabad shluchos from all over the world – from Argentina to Australia, from Thailand to Kazakhstan, and from every state in the U.S. It takes place the weekend of Chaf Bet Shevat, the yahrzeit of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka, wife of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, zt”l.

You have been a role model and an inspiration to us from as far back as I can remember.

Shabbos at a Nefesh weekend is an experience all on its own.

    Latest Poll

    Israel's Iron Dome Anti-Missile System:





    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/opinions/everything-i-dreamed-of-in-a-husband/2011/12/02/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: