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If He Is Released, I Will No Longer Be Able to Live

With your decision to release the murderer you spit on the graves of my mother and my brother.

(Left to right) Tal, Nir and Adi Moses before the attack.

(Left to right) Tal, Nir and Adi Moses before the attack.

Editor’s note: Adi Moses was eight years old when she was injured in a Palestinian terrorist attack that killed her pregnant mother and five-year-old brother.

You know the story of my family. In 1987 a terrorist threw a firebomb at the car my family was traveling in. He murdered my mother and my brother Tal, and injured my father, my brother, his friend and myself. It is a story you know. But me, you do not really know. I was eight years old when this happened.

While my father was rolling me in the sand to extinguish my burning body, I looked in the direction of our car and watched as my mother burned in front of my eyes.

This story did not end that day in 1987. This story is the difficult life I have led since then. I am still eight years old, hospitalized in critical condition. Screaming from pain. Bandaged from head to toe. And my head is not the same. No longer full of golden long hair. The head is burnt. The face, back, the legs and arms, burnt. I am surrounded by family members, but my mother is not with me. Not hugging and caressing. She is not the one changing my bandages.

In the room next door, my brother Tal is screaming in pain. I call out to him to count sheep with me so he can fall asleep. Three months later, little Tal dies of his wounds. I am seated, all bandaged up, on a chair in the cemetery and I watch as my little brother is buried.

For many months I am forbidden to be out in the sun because of the burns, so I wear long pants and long-sleeved shirts to school. In July and August as well. And under the clothes I wear a pressure suit meant to [prevent hypertrophic] scarring. It is painful and hot and itchy.

Here I am at twelve years old, undergoing another operation to correct a scar that limited movement in my leg. And then I am celebrating my bat mitzvah. And my mother is not at the celebration. So I cry quietly at night and write to her.

I grow older. I don’t like that people in the street stare at me, don’t like it when the cashier at the supermarket asks, “Oh, child, what happened to you?” I don’t like it that every such look and every such question make me run and cry.

I reach the age of fourteen and still live in Alfei Menashe. I have a father, an older brother and friends, I am a good pupil. But I also have unbearable scars. I do not have a mother. So I lay in the road and say to myself that if a car comes, whatever happens, happens. But it doesn’t happen. So I pick myself up and return home. All those years of adolescence, my friends’ preferred activity is to go to the beach. But I don’t go because I have scars. Because I am burnt. And I am ashamed.

Then I am eighteen and want to enlist but I am not drafted. The army refuses to take responsibility for my scars. So I volunteer in the military and serve for a year and a half.

At college I meet new people who, of course, ask me what happened to me. I respond “terror attack.” And they always answer “wow, really? I thought hot water spilled on you when you were little.”

Today I am thirty-four years old, exactly my mother’s age at the time of the attack. From now on she will forever be younger than me. And still, at least four times a week I answer questions about what happened to me.

I am thirty-four years old but the last few days I have returned to being that eight-year-old facing that burning car and waiting for her mother to come out of it. Yitzhak Rabin, who was minister of defense at the time of the attack, promised my dad they would catch the terrorist. And they did. And they sentenced him. To two life sentences and another seventy-two years in prison. And you Cabinet ministers? With the wave of a hand you decided to free him – he who caused all of this story.

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55 Responses to “If He Is Released, I Will No Longer Be Able to Live”

  1. the terrorist should have been shot in the head immediately. taking prisoners is stupid and meaningless. rid the earthof this scum.

  2. the terrorist should have been shot in the head immediately. taking prisoners is stupid and meaningless. rid the earthof this scum.

  3. Lori Lowenthal Marcus says:

    I can't breathe reading this. I can't stand it. How is it possible the government of the Jewish Homeland has become kind to the cruel, and so cruel to the kind. How can I tell people Aliyah is the right choice? How can I feel good about my son going into the IDF? And for what? For more terror and to appease the world's gaping maw which needs to punish the Jewish people for not dying out.

  4. Marty Mensch says:

    Lori, I do not understand where the compassion & dignity of our government for those that lost love one's. It is insult to injury. It is painful & my heart goes out to all those victims. I do not understand why we are doing this. We are very smart, is there something I do not get? We released terrorists in the past, but we got something for it. Here we get nothing. We all know these talks will not come to anything. Is Bibi going to back down on the release at an opportunity to do so? Or is he going to release them to prove to the US, EU, UN, UK & whatever else is out there that there demands do not work & than tell them to get lost, leave me alone, I know what has to get done, I can do it without anybody's help!

  5. Ruth Hirt says:

    Islamists given to murdering sprees are cold, heartless, demon-possess. No amount of sober rationalizations over issues ascribing justice at least, has no room for it.

  6. Lori Lowenthal Marcus I hear you, sista.

  7. Netanyahu and his lackeys shoud go to prison rest their lives becouse they have commited releasing cruelty terrorist murderers..

  8. How much heartbreak and suffering does the American government want to impose on the people of Israel? Kerry and Obama need to meet this woman and hear her story first hand. Would they have released the killers of 9/11 if they had found them alive?

  9. Judy Hantman says:

    It isn't the fault of our government. They have been blackmailed by Obama. According to Knesset members, they can't divulge exactly what the form of blackmail is. Goodness knows what they're holding over our heads – but I suspect it has something to do with Iran. – Throw Abbas a bone or we'll withdraw funding for defense missiles and oppose you on Iran. Obama is out to destroy us.

  10. Judy Hantman says:

    It isn't the fault of our government. They have been blackmailed by Obama. According to Knesset members, they can't divulge exactly what the form of blackmail is. Goodness knows what they're holding over our heads – but I suspect it has something to do with Iran. – Throw Abbas a bone or we'll withdraw funding for defense missiles and oppose you on Iran. Obama is out to destroy us.

  11. How much heartbreak and suffering does the American government want to impose on the people of Israel? Kerry and Obama need to meet this woman and hear her story first hand. Would they have released the killers of 9/11 if they had found them alive?

  12. bogdim? I lived in Israel when you were a little girl and in the late 80's witnessed Demanyuk's( yimach shmo) trial. Such a good Israeli lawyer he had! Such good Jewish minds, wisdom and principle. In the face of the many Holocaust survivors who had given evidence or watched the trial daily, Ivan the Terrible was released over a lack of proof of his ID document. Dear Adi, Munich demanded his retrial in 2011 and he was brought from Chicago to Munich, in his old age and sickness and retried and found guilty. Somehow your feeling connects. I wish you compassion for yourself and your family.

  13. Yona Morgenstern says:

    Where is the Petition w this??? Where can I sign to stop this from happening to you??? I'm crying with you . Where is the reason !!!!! Enough ! Let's get signs and petitions going to stop this madness now!!!!!

  14. Stuart Wragg says:

    It does not make sense. It is hard to comprehend. What I do know is that holding onto a hatred is like drinking poison and hoping another will die. Vengeance is mine said God. That is all I can hold onto. My prayers are with you all

  15. When he is released.Let the IDF put a bullet in his head.

  16. Abe Rosenblatt says:

    Obama is not to blame… He doesn't care for Israelis. Netanyahu is to blame, Bennett is to blame, Lapid is to blame. All the spineless politicians are to blame for violating the victims of these atrocities.

    With that being said, God will avenge their blood. Have no fear. Their release and happiness will only be short term. The same as the millions of Nazis currently in hell, these animals will soon join them. May God give you the strength to deal with the pain of all you are experiencing.

  17. Mendel Gurevitch says:

    I cry listening to your story. No words can express my sorrow. The only retribution would be they set him "free" and put a bullet into his back as he's walking away.

  18. Lea Krepel Doula says:

    Judy Hantman thank you. finally someone who understands the whole sad reality of goverments and powers which are all evil if they don't follow G-ds laws. It just isn't possible to be a righteous goverment if you make decisions other other goverment powers pressure. Only G-d knows why everything occurs. we must pray and do our best.

  19. Carolin Knox says:

    I must say that I don't understand a country having the death penalty and not using it. No American President could say anything, as we use it all the time, for less horrific crimes. And it would certainly put an end to the "release" nonsense.

  20. Avi Billet says:

    WADR. Any "concession" to Abbas is a gesture that does nothing for Israel. There is no "partner" for peace.
    Israel must view terrorism as "crimes against the Jewish people" – an allowance in Israel's constitution to seek the death penalty. Take a life lose your life. Then painful stories like this will never need to be revisited.

  21. in other words, lets do away with consequences for evil, because they are just unnecessary suffering for those that have already been hurt.

  22. It would be an atrocity to release this monster.
    Hasn't this family suffered enough?

  23. Bibi is making the biggest mistake of his life in releasing these 104 Arab Muslim terrorists because peace with Palestinians will never happen By bowing to pressure from Obama and the USA govt he is risking the safety and security of Israel all over again Obama doesn't give a **** what happens to Israel as long as he can appease Muslims all over the world -BIBI shouldn't let this peace-process thing be a decoration on Obama's resume and a cherry on Kerry's tenure.

  24. Adina Shoshana says:

    Even better…let him arrive in his village, city, country…to explode wearing his own bomb vest, along with his entire kind!

  25. Adina Shoshana says:

    By freeing terrorists, they are aligning themselves with the terrorists and their actions and belief systems. This makes BO and Kerry terrorist themselves.

    Haven’t you been following BO’s the acts of terror and treason BO is wrecking upon the nation he is meant to represent and protect?…Haven’t you followed the death and destruction he is responsible for around the world?

    BO is a muslim terrorist himself. Be assured they know exactly what they are doing…and they have no conscience whatsoever.

    The danger is here until we have a True TORAH GOVERNMENT…and true Torah leaders who fear and trust ONLY G-d.

    And Yes…BO has released the terrorists from the Guantamo Bay prison.

  26. Adina Shoshana says:

    We MUST take action when another plans to, G-d forbid kill us.
    The kedusha is in acting out of love and honor of G-d and His name, like Pinchas.
    Not to be caught in the evil of hate, anger, rage.
    Yes, G-d is in charge. However, we too have responsibilities to take actions in this world.
    Like the army grouped into three divisions:
    First group…to go to the front…in devout and sincere prayer.
    Second group of soldiers to guard those who are praying.
    Third group to guard the home front.
    And G-d takes care of all. He blesses those who bless us, and curses those who curse us…

  27. Larry Rosen says:

    So so powerful – you have to ask yourself HOW CAN THEY RELEASE THIS EVIL MONTSTER??? IT MAKES ME SICK AND I CAN REALLY FEEL HIS PAIN……..

  28. John Beaman says:

    Release him and then kill him in the street. He's an animal and a son of a bitch!

  29. Inna Coleman says:

    The terrorist does not deserve to live, he had to have a death sentence, not talking about the release.

  30. And never see daylight that bastard

  31. Caroline Devorah Ramey says:

    My heart breaks for her , such pain no person should ever endure Hashem yerachem.WHY WHY WHY are they TORTURING THE VICTIMS this is insane , cruel and suicidal policy.

  32. Liora Reznichenko says:

    My heart hurts reading this.

  33. Chickenus Buttockus says:

    What Israel need s is their own Terrorist group. They need to allow their people to shoot rockets into Gaza and if they release this satan then he and his family needs to be hunted down. The only thing Is-lame understands is REVENGE!

  34. Dirt Mgurt says:

    Kill everyone

  35. Roz Jeffery says:

    I pray for God's everlasting arms to hold and His love to comfort this precious family. Amen.

  36. I am so sad for this family, its just horrible.

  37. I am so sad for this family its just horrible.

  38. Evelynne Rifkind Goldman says:

    This is so sad.

  39. Robert R Fran says:

    John Kerry is doing everything for Peace? or for his own political publicity Gimmick….they want peace and have a gun? no way! the Filipino people always with Israel.

  40. Alima Azadzoi says:

    Tragic! :( Another sad & heartfelt story of an innocent civilian's suffering, too bad the stories of thousands if not millions of "innocent" Palestinians killed/slaughtered isn't broadcasted & publicised like the Israelis.. it's a shame really! :'(

  41. Kitty Taylor Adams says:

    Not much makes sense in this world. Put your faith in God. Pray that he will reveal to you his plan. Live your life with love in your heart and trust the one who died for you. He loves us and he will not forsake us. Praise God.

  42. Kitty Taylor Adams says:

    The Jewish people are God's chosen people. I am not Jewish but I know that. God will protect you. You are the front line. He is with you, you are great in all the world. I thank you for your suffering and I pray for BObama to be replaced with someone who identifies with the American People because he dosen't represent us

  43. Kitty Taylor Adams says:

    I understand your frustration. God would not want this…He would say, trust in me. When you behave like the devil, you become the devil…be Godly. Israel is God's chosen land…they are Godly people. I pray every day for Israel. God will not forsake them.

  44. The folks who support Palestinians Terrorists and call them Oppressed and freedom fighters need to get a clue. Many Palestinians are terrorists and murders who teach their precious babies form a young age to hate Jewish people and destroy them…and themselves and call it martyrdom. It is murder/suicide silly humans. And mark my words, if the USA brokers the deal to divide Jerusalem, destruction will be ours in America.STOP THE MADNESS! Support Israel and encourage them to not let these murderers out.

  45. Tammy Thompson says:

    If the Palestinians would stop killing innocent Israelies and leave them alone, there would be no more bloodshed. The Palestinians have sworn to kill every last Jew on Earth. How do you make peace with a people whose main goal in life is to kill you? We give millions of dollars every year to the Palestinians and what do they do with it? They don't make bomb shelters or build communities or help solve the problems they have, NO, THEY BUY WEAPONS TO KILL JEWS. The bible tells us what you do to Israel, God will do to you. America we are in trouble. Our gov has turned their backs on Israel and is arming their enemies. Do you think God will help us when the Muslims turn on us? Don't think so

  46. Tammy Thompson says:

    Because Obama is pressuring Israel to let the terrorists go. The Palestinians are demanding it or they won't talk peace. I say, no. Arm and assist Masad, they will stop this garbage. The Palestinians voted in Hamas Terrorists to run their country. Terrorists need to be dealt with, quickly and totally.

  47. Kristi Drullard Kohn says:

    wow, thank you for sharing this. :( we need to be aware of the tragedy and injustice in order to demand some common sense from our leaders.

  48. Adrienne Arkin says:

    Alima Azadzoi. you don't know what you are talking about. You name me one Israeli that has with his own hands murdered a family or burned alive or beheaded a family. Yes Palistinians have been killed but mostly because of their leaders.
    They are barbaric murders and should stay in prison for ever. If we had the death penalty for these murders then they would pay the right price. Shame on our politicians for releasing these murdering Bastar****

  49. Laura Nardoni says:

    I agree with Judith, Why waste time & money-and make the victims have to relive (the pain) every time someone appeals a court decision. I say if you have the scum bag, shoot & kill and give everyone a break! Drawn out court proceedings only benefit the guilty and hurt the victims. This only applies to people who are caught in the act of violence against others. It is time to protect the innocent victims and not make the guilty out to be the victims!! The press is very good at this and it needs to stop! Don't forget an eye for an eye-it's in the bible!

  50. this is so sad. But don't be fooled. there is evil comitted on both sides who have no concern for innocent people caught in the middle..

  51. I wish this family… peace…

  52. Stuart Wragg says:

    To both Adina and Kitty- Well said. I could not have said it better. As long as our hearts are true, God will be with us and not against us.

  53. Ann Knowles Tucker says:

    Oh my God , don't release him , he should not be able to breathe the air of freedom.

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(Left to right) Tal, Nir and Adi Moses before the attack.

With your decision to release the murderer you spit on the graves of my mother and my brother.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/opinions/if-he-is-released-i-will-no-longer-be-able-to-live/2013/08/08/

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