web analytics
May 27, 2015 / 9 Sivan, 5775
At a Glance
InDepth
Sponsored Post


Home » InDepth » Op-Eds »

Israel’s Music Man

      The Israeli Labor Party recently selected Ehud Barak, who had been prime minister from 1999 to 2001, to serve as its party chief and contender for prime minister in the next election, probably in 2008.
 
      Barak has always been associated in my mind with music – as well as the incredibly harmful policies he has advocated since entering politics. True, Barak was a military hero. He even entered Beirut disguised as a woman to assassinate terrorists, a scene recorded in the movie “Munich.” You can imagine how many jokes at his expense that triggered.
 
      But once he left the army, he went out shopping for political ideas and ended up buying the silliest ones available on the Shimon Peres/Oslo vintage clothing rack. He attempted to turn the Golan Heights over to Syria, which would have allowed the Syrian military to advance to the shores of the Sea of Galilee. This inspired me at the time to write a parody of an old Bobby Darin classic, with Ehud Barak singing “Splish Splash I was taking a Ba’ath.”
 
      It continued: “Splish, Splash! I jumpedbackin thebath.WellhowwasI to knowtherewasappeasement goingon?”
 

      Later, due to Barak’s disastrous policies as prime minister and his attempt to hand over Jerusalem to the PLO savages, a new song seemed called for. Barak had just been creamed in a landslide electoral defeat by Ariel Sharon. The new piece was to the tune of Harry Belafonte’s “Banana Boat Song.” It went:

     

EH HOOD, day EH EH HOOD

Ehud’s done and we wan him go home

EH, he say EH, he say EH, he say EH,

      he say EH, he say EH-ay-ay-HOOD

Ehud’s done and we wan him go home

They shoots all night from ole Ramallah

(Ehud’s done and we wan him go home)

As all night he wave white bandana

(Ehud’s done and we wan him go home)

Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally me election

Ehud’s done and we wan him go home

Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally the rejection

Ehud’s done and we wan him go home

 

      Barak is often proclaimed by the media to be the “most decorated Israeli general.” But last summer he effectively dropped 4,000 Katyusha rockets on northern Israel, because those attacks were a direct result of his having ordered Israel’s withdrawal from southern Lebanon.
 
      And now Barak is desperately looking for a new campaign jingle. Being a helpful sort, I thought I would give him a hand.
 
      To understand the new song, you need to recall that in 1998 Barak declared: “I imagine that if I were a Palestinian of the right age, I would, at some stage, have joined one of the terror organizations.”
 

      My proposed campaign song for Reb Ehud is based on the wonderful “If I Were a Rich Man” from “Fiddler on the Roof.” (Unfortunately Tevye is not running for prime minister.)

      Ready? Here goes!

 

Dear God, you made so many, many cowardly people.

I realize, of course, that it’s no shame to be a coward.

But it’s no great honor, either!

So, what would have been so terrible if

      I had a small dose of gumption?

(music)

 

If I were a terrorist,

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

All day long I’d biddy biddy bomb.

If I were a Hamas man.

I wouldn’t have to work hard.

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

If I were a biddy bomber bum,

Yidle-diddle-didle-didle BOMB.

 

I’d have a big tall house with virgins by the dozen,

Right in the midst of Gaza town.

A fine tin roof with real al-Kassams below.

There would be one long rocket just going up,

And one even longer coming down,

And one more leading nowhere, just for show.

I’d fill my yard with chicks and turkeys

      and other Labor chiefs,

For all the town to see and hear.

And each loud “cheep” and “squawk”

      and “honk” and “quack”

Would ring like a Kassam in my ear,

As if to say “Here lives a Tanzim man.”

     

If I were a terrorist,

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

All day long I’d biddy biddy bomb.

If I were a Hamas man.

I wouldn’t have to work hard.

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

If I were a biddy bomber bum,

Yidle-diddle-didle-didle BOMB.

 

The most important men in town

      would come to fawn on me!

They would ask me to be appeased by them,

Like Shimon Peres the Kind.

“If you please, Reb Ehud…”

“Pardon me, Reb Ehud…”

Posing problems that would cross a Tanzim’s mind!

And it won’t make one bit of difference

      if I answer war or peace.

When you’re me, they think you really know!

 

If I were a terrorist,

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

All day long I’d biddy biddy bomb.

If I were a Hamas man.

I wouldn’t have to work hard.

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

If I were a biddy bomber bum,

Yidle-diddle-didle-didle BOMB.

 

Lord who made the lion and the lamb,

You decreed I should be what I am.

Would it spoil some vast eternal plan

If I were a ter-ror-ist MAN!!!

(Curtain closes)

 

      Steven Plaut, a frequent contributor to The Jewish Press, is a professor at Haifa University. His book “The Scout” is available at Amazon.com. He can be contacted at stevenplaut@yahoo.com.

About the Author: Steven Plaut is a professor at the University of Haifa. He can be contacted at steveneplaut@yahoo.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Israel’s Music Man”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting Organization President Mohammad Sarafraz.
US Claims ‘No More Extensions’ on Nuclear Talks with Iran
Latest Indepth Stories
Rabbi Lichtenstein (z"l).

On his shloshim, I want to discuss a term I’ve heard countless times about Rav Aharon: Gedol HaDor

Abbas and Obama

After obsequious claims of devotion to Israel, Obama took to criticizing Israel on peace process

Ronal Shoval Voting

Mr. Obama, Israeli voters have democratically chosen to apply Israeli sovereignty over Judea&Samaria

Ayelet Shaked

Netanyahu so disdains Shaked’s appointment he completely ignored her after the swearing-in ceremony

Ronen Shamir’s just the latest tenured Leftist convicted of sexual misconduct with his own student

NY Times precious front page ink is only reserved for portrayals of Israel as the aggressor.

Although I loved law school, I doubted myself: Who would come to me, a chassidish woman lawyer?

American Jews who go gaga for Obama are first and foremost “Liberals of the Mosaic Persuasion”

“Illinois is the first state to take concrete, legally binding action against the BDS campaign”

Many books have supported the preferability- not to be confused with desirability- of the status quo

Consider the Pope’s desperation, reading daily reports of the slaughter of Christians by Muslims

The contrast between a Dem pretending to love Israel & a Dem who truly loves Israel is CRYSTAL CLEAR

Pentecost, derived from the Greek word for 50, is celebrated 50 days after Easter.

U.S and European demands for the creation of a Palestinian State in the West Bank is world hypocrisy.

We take a whole person approach, giving our people assistance with whatever they need.

During my spiritual journey I discovered G-d spoke to man only once, to the Jewish people at Sinai

More Articles from Steven Plaut
Tel Aviv University Insignia

Ronen Shamir’s just the latest tenured Leftist convicted of sexual misconduct with his own student

The Vatican

It is time to acknowledge Alaric I and his descendents, as the true & rightful rulers of the Vatican

“If I were a Shaheed, yababa-deidledie, all day long I’d detonate for fun, if I were a Shaheed guy”

British archeologists just uncovered a statement from 1938 supporting BDS of Czechoslovakia (humor)

Israel’s media waged jihad against Bibi before the election, nakedly promoting Herzog and Labor

No matter what rick or contrivance the Left tried, it didn’t help. And tried they did!

- When income becomes too equitable, there are no incentives to work hard and take risks and innovate.

The Israel Prize, the nation’s premier prize, is awarded in a range of areas for various disciplines

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/opinions/israels-music-man/2007/08/22/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: