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October 24, 2014 / 30 Tishri, 5775
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Kerry – Don’t Go

Dr. Kerry

Photo Credit: Asher Schwartz

I’ll admit, I’m getting worried, with all the calls for Kerry to quit – or be fired.

It’s not that I think he is in any way competent or good at his job. And what he’s trying to foist onto Israel is worse than despicable, not to mention that it affects me personally, in a bad, dangerous way. But I have a conflicting and selfish motive for wanting Kerry to stay on the job.

I remember when President Obama was first elected. The pundits were concerned – after George W. Bush, how could Obama possibly match up to the material Double’ya gave them day in and day out? The best they could come up with at the time was mentioning Obama’s ears.

It didn’t take long for Obama to win a Nobel Prize for being elected, at which points the comedic floodgates opened.

But with all due respect to the President, he’s got nothing, and I mean nothing, on Secretary of State John Kerry.

Kerry is a pundit’s delight.

Look at the cartoons JewishPress.com have been publishing about him. Our cartoonist, Asher, he doesn’t even need to make stuff up. Kerry just opens his mouth and hands it over on a silver platter. I suspect Asher’s hardest decision in the morning is deciding how high to draw Kerry’s hair (it should be higher, Asher).

And those comments it rakes in.

Just putting the word Kerry into a title guarantees a 100 comments (see below). Admittedly, most of them are simply calling Kerry an idiot, but who cares, it’s guaranteed interaction and page views on the website.

At this point, I willing to bet that half the internet traffic on every Jewish news site in the world relies on John Kerry and his latest remark to keep their page views climbing.

So, with all due respect to the Emergency Committee for Israel, my fellow Israelis and the Republican party, Kerry, don’t quit – you’re just too vital to the internet economy, my job and this website’s traffic.

Can you imagine how much our traffic will spike if Kerry wins the presidency in ’16?

Now that’s job security.

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7 Responses to “Kerry – Don’t Go”

  1. Janek El says:

    you mean due respect, no?

  2. Jay Lackritz says:

    LOL…. On the other hand, PLEASE GO NOW

  3. Karen Bryant says:

    They both need to go.

  4. Gene Strong says:

    Obama is not due any respect.

  5. Deepak Gupta says:

    God bless The Jewish People, God bless Israel !!!

  6. Sharon Apfeldorf says:

    oy

Comments are closed.

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