● Make suggestions for others: Just as davening for others can cause the Almighty to answer your prayers first, making suggestions for others not only truly helps your friends, but it actually is part of hishtadlut. By thinking of your friends and neighbors, and coming up with suggestions, you not only do a chessed, but it is a great way to keep your name in the minds of those you speak to.
● Meet matchmakers: Certainly don’t rely on any one matchmaker. The most important thing to realize is that they are overwhelmed with hundreds, if not thousands, of names running through their heads. Therefore, stand out. Make the extra effort to meet them in person. Become a real individual to them and not simply another young person who “loves to read, travel and spend time with family.” Please bear in mind that matchmakers who seem not to care because they have not made any suggestions are not necessarily ignoring you. They may simply be inundated or have been turned down by prospective matches. Remind them with a friendly e-mail once a month or with a quick call before Yom Tov wishing them a happy holiday.
As Orthodox Jews, we know that Hashem is there to help. Though He sends many messengers, each one of us must put in our effort. Certainly, the path to success in making matches is tumultuous and overwhelming at times, with many challenges along the way. But if each of us does our part and makes our personal and communal efforts, we are sure to be successful.
About the Author: Marjorie Glatt, J.D., serves as the Special Projects Coordinator at YUConnects (www.YUConnects.com), a premier relationship-building program run by Yeshiva University's Center for the Jewish Future. Grounded in academic research and the educational resources of Yeshiva University, YUConnects initiates conversations with community leaders, mental health professionals, educators and the greater community in an effort to establish healthy relationship-building fundamentals and, ultimately, more Jewish homes and families. This article is an excerpt from the first volume of a special two-part YUConnects edition in the CJF’s longstanding To-Go® series. It can be downloaded in its entirety at http://www.yutorah.org/togo/yuconnects/.
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