web analytics
September 17, 2014 / 22 Elul, 5774
At a Glance
InDepth
Sponsored Post
Apartment 758x530 Africa-Israel at the Israel Real Estate Exhibition in New York

Africa Israel Residences, part of the Africa Israel Investments Group led by international businessman Lev Leviev, will present 7 leading projects on the The Israel Real Estate Exhibition in New York on Sep 14-15, 2014.



Home » InDepth » Op-Eds »

The Single-Minded


Moshe was looking for employment (he wasn’t cut out to learn full-time), and was having a difficult time finding the right fit. Sometimes he went weeks without even landing an interview, and he rarely made it past the first round. People began to speculate that there was something wrong with Moshe, and his self-esteem took a blow every time he heard of someone else who found a job.

One day a man by the name of Berel called Moshe’s parents. Berel was on the fringes of Moshe’s life, and hadn’t even spoken with him in years.

“I have the perfect job for Moshe,” he declared.

“That’s wonderful news,” said Moshe’s father. “But shouldn’t you be telling this to him?” Moshe’s father was old school.

Fortunately Berel was not deterred. “Usually children want their parents to be involved in such important personal decisions.”

“My son is twenty-six years old. If someone his age can’t be in charge of his own job search, I can’t imagine he’d make a very successful employee.” The old man sighed. “What kind of job is it?”

“Er, I don’t know.”

“What? What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“I heard from my sister-in-law about a company that’s looking to hire, and I started to think of people who I knew might be looking for a job, and I thought of Moshe.”

“Do you even know what kind of work Moshe is looking for?”

Now it was Berel’s turn to be surprised. “What do you mean? Moshe is looking for a job, and they’re looking to hire someone. It sounds perfect. Besides, it’s only a phone call and an interview. In any case, I’m only trying to help. You really should be a little more appreciative.”

Moshe’s father had some ideas about how Berel could be of better help, but politely ended the call. Berel was so inspired by his chesed mission that he decided to call Moshe directly, even though such things normally weren’t done.

“Moshe, I have a job for you,” said Berel.

Moshe felt a little uneasy with the situation, but he reminded himself that taking wild chances was hishtadlus. Every bad interview was one step closer to the right one, and therefore it was vital that he open himself up to seemingly unnecessary suffering. He agreed to give the company a call.

The conversation was a little awkward, especially since Moshe had to pretend he knew what kind of job it was, but Moshe arranged to meet with someone the following week. This was the first opportunity for an interview he’d had in several weeks, so he felt a little desperate.

That same night Moshe met Shimon, a very close friend of many years who knew him as well as anyone. Shimon excitedly told Moshe that an associate of his was looking to hire someone with Moshe’s exact qualifications. It was an immediate opening and a wonderful opportunity for the right candidate; many people would be interested in the job, and the position would almost certainly be filled before long.

Fortunately, Shimon’s associate had mentioned the opening to him before advertising it, and Moshe would have an inside track if he called immediately.

“Oy, Shimon! I wish you’d told me about this a few hours ago,” said Moshe.

“What are you talking about?”

“I already applied for a different job and the interview isn’t until next week.”

Shimon was completely taken aback. “Um…what does that have to do with anything?”

“What do you mean?” cried Moshe. “I can’t arrange another interview now.”

“Why not? Don’t you want to find a job?”

“Of course I want to find a job. But I can only interview with one company at a time. Otherwise I might get confused between the two companies. I might even lose track of what I discussed with each company, which could lead to an embarrassing situation.”

“Are you being serious? Are you really worried about that? Do you have this kind of problem normally?”

“Shimon, come on! You know this just isn’t done. You’re supposed to interview with one company at a time. Otherwise it isn’t fair to either of them, since it can only work with one of them, so you’re obviously wasting the other one’s time. It’s also wrong to get their hopes up and have them invest emotionally in you, and then disappoint them, especially when you’re not putting your full effort into either one of them. You wind up just comparing them to one another, which isn’t fair.”

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “The Single-Minded”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Smoke rises near Quneitra Crossing as it seen from the Golan.Heights in the Israeli side on August 27, 2014, The IDF instructed farmers and civilians to stay away from the border with Syria on the Golan Heights.
Shelling on Golan Heights Strikes Close to Israeli News Team
Latest Indepth Stories
A Gaza building, reportedly used by Hamas, destroyed by the IDF on August 26, 2014.

For too long the media and international community have been preaching that “Palestinians” bear no responsibility for the consequences of their decisions and they are passive victims of the conflict.

The Iron Dome was called on for the first time in 2013 to intercept a missile fired by terrorists in Sinai at Eilat.

Iron Dome intercepted over 1,000 rockets aimed at Israel with a success rate of over 90% in 2014

IDF lone soldier and Ohio native David Menachem Gordon (z"l).

We talked about the responsibility that comes with the pen, its potential to influence and inspire.

Amnesty International:The crippling of the power station was “collective punishment of Palestinians”

Originally scheduled to be held elsewhere, the hotel canceled, pressured by local missionary groups

It’s likely that some of the rebel factions, including US clients, have indeed made pacts with ISIS

Imam Tafsirli of the Harlem Islamic center: “You cannot be a Muslim without believing in Jesus”

If simple fuel choice were implemented, the power of petroleum and those who sell it would cease.

Value of IS: It enables people to see the place to which all other Islamist fascism is headed.

“When Frank does something he does it well and you don’t have to worry about dotting the i’s or crossing the t’s.”

President Obama: “ISIL is not Islamic. No religion condones the killing of innocents”

he time of the Uman pilgrimage is upon us, and we dare not ignore the opportunity to highlight the danger.

Healing requires that the victim be validated for being harmed and the guilty assume responsibility.

During the war, not once was Hashem’s name mentioned to the nation by Israel’s PM or gov’t officials

More Articles from Chananya Weissman

A great human tragedy is taking place before our eyes, yet few can see it.

A singles event in Jerusalem, co-sponsored by no fewer than five groups or organizations, advertised the following:

“Ask yourself this question: Do you really want to get married? If the answer is NO, then carry on having a good time going to all those parties, Shabbat meals, lectures, supermarket aisles . If the answer is YES, then we’ll see you at the MEGA EVENT.”

Since creating EndTheMadness seven years ago I have received all manner of correspondence, and it should come as no surprise that for every gratifying e-mail I receive there are plenty more that are disturbing in one way or another. But what if I asked you to guess which e-mails disturb me the most, even momentarily shaking my optimism that there really is hope for our society?

I’ve long maintained that the large number of people having a difficult time getting and staying happily married is only a symptom of deeper problems in the community. Consequently, efforts to get more singles to go out on more dates will be largely unsuccessful unless the deeper problems are addressed. This thesis has been validated in recent years, as more attention to the “crisis” and various schemes to create shidduchim have yet to result in meaningful change or much cause for optimism.

Moshe was looking for employment (he wasn’t cut out to learn full-time), and was having a difficult time finding the right fit. Sometimes he went weeks without even landing an interview, and he rarely made it past the first round. People began to speculate that there was something wrong with Moshe, and his self-esteem took a blow every time he heard of someone else who found a job.

It’s all too common nowadays for people to defend the widespread method of shidduchim by pointing to the biblical story of Eliezer finding a wife for Yitzchak. Apparently the Torah mandates this method as proper, and therefore there is little else to discuss beyond perhaps fine-tuning the way singles are set up by shadchanim and further shielding them from outside influences and one another.

I find the Orthodox Jewish approach to problem-solving fascinating, in a dark sort of way. It consists of a series of steps that looks something like this:

“And you shall rejoice in your festival” says the pasuk at the end of Parshas Re’ei (16:14), and this is actually a mitzvah. I suspect this is not intended to be one of the more difficult mitzvot for us to fulfill, yet for many hard-working Jews the Yomim Tovim are far greater sources of stress than joy.

Nothing is more elusive than perfection, yet perfection is a notion that frequently surfaces in the realm of shidduchim. For example, singles are often told by people on the outermost fringes of their lives, “I know someone perfect for you.” How preposterous, how presumptuous! Yet singles permit themselves to be excited by this declaration so that they may be further disillusioned when the shidduch invariably turns out to be anything but perfect.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/opinions/the-single-minded/2009/02/04/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: