Join Meir Panim’s campaign to “light up” Chanukah for families in need.
Shimon looked like he’d been punched in the stomach. He was glad more people didn’t think this way or, heaven forbid, approach dating with such self-defeating ideas.
“You’re really serious. You really believe you’re wasting a company’s time just because you’re exploring other opportunities? Don’t you think they’re doing the same thing? And that’s what you both should be doing, because good opportunities are precious and don’t always conveniently come along exactly when you want or expect them to. Besides, you’re supposed to compare different job prospects. That’s how you gain better clarity of which one is right for you. There’s nothing wrong with that, since you’re approaching the process with sincerity.
“Mature adults understand this, Moshe. Mature adults realize that you interview with them on a best efforts basis, and that it won’t work out most of the time. That’s normal, and no one should be hurt by that. They also understand that you’re a free agent until you commit to someone. A phone call to set up an interview is only a commitment to interview on a best efforts basis, not to shut yourself off from all other opportunities that may come along until this one reaches a definite resolution. That’s just self-defeating, and you only hurt your chances of finding the right fit this way.”
Moshe smiled. “But you’re forgetting about bitachon. Why would Hashem give me two opportunities at the same time if only one could be the right one? He’s obviously testing my faith that He knows what He’s doing. If He wanted me to interview with your associate He would have sent you a few hours ago.”
Shimon rolled his eyes. “I’m not sure how you could possibly know such a thing. Maybe Hashem wants you to rethink some of your presumptions. And maybe He’s given you the chance to seize an opportunity or squander it.”
“No, Hashem would never let me miss an opportunity. Everything He does is for the best.”
Shimon sighed. “Everything He does is for the best. But not everything you do is for the best. You’re making an unreasonable emotional investment in a first interview, you’re presuming to know what Hashem’s plan is, and you’re passing up a golden opportunity to interview for a job with tremendous potential because of some nonsensical principles that handicap your ability to make intelligent decisions.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” said Moshe. “Thanks for thinking of me, but I have to turn you down, even though the job does sound like the perfect opportunity. This is the Torah way.”
About the Author:
If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.
Comments are closed.
Since the passing of the Governance bill legislation on March 11, 2014, new alignments have become to appear in Israeli politics.
Israel has some wild places left; places to reflect and think, to get lost, to try to find ourselves
The British government assured Anglo-Jewry that it is attacking the rising levels of anti-Semitism.
Our journey begins by attempting to see things differently, only then can we be open to change.
Despite Western ‘Conventional Wisdom&PC,’ the Arab/Israeli conflict was never about the Palestinians
Confrontation & accountability, proven techniques, might also help dealing with religious terrorists
In fact, wherever you see soldiers in Paris today, you pretty much know you’re near Jewish site
Inspired by the Perek Shira pasuk for “small non-kosher animals” we named the bunny “Rebbetzin Tova”
The abuse following publication proved a cautionary tale: no one followed in Peters’s footsteps
Plainly, there is no guiding hand dictating choices across the board.
How many sites that tell you to check your politics at the door have 10,000 likes?
In this particular case, the issue was whether the Arkansas prison system could prohibit, for security reasons, a devout Muslim’s maintaining a beard of a certain length as a matter of religious practice.
While we recognize the Republican Jewish Coalition is hardly a non-partisan outfit, a snippet from a statement the group released is worthy of note:
A great human tragedy is taking place before our eyes, yet few can see it.
A singles event in Jerusalem, co-sponsored by no fewer than five groups or organizations, advertised the following:
“Ask yourself this question: Do you really want to get married? If the answer is NO, then carry on having a good time going to all those parties, Shabbat meals, lectures, supermarket aisles . If the answer is YES, then we’ll see you at the MEGA EVENT.”
Since creating EndTheMadness seven years ago I have received all manner of correspondence, and it should come as no surprise that for every gratifying e-mail I receive there are plenty more that are disturbing in one way or another. But what if I asked you to guess which e-mails disturb me the most, even momentarily shaking my optimism that there really is hope for our society?
I’ve long maintained that the large number of people having a difficult time getting and staying happily married is only a symptom of deeper problems in the community. Consequently, efforts to get more singles to go out on more dates will be largely unsuccessful unless the deeper problems are addressed. This thesis has been validated in recent years, as more attention to the “crisis” and various schemes to create shidduchim have yet to result in meaningful change or much cause for optimism.
Moshe was looking for employment (he wasn’t cut out to learn full-time), and was having a difficult time finding the right fit. Sometimes he went weeks without even landing an interview, and he rarely made it past the first round. People began to speculate that there was something wrong with Moshe, and his self-esteem took a blow every time he heard of someone else who found a job.
It’s all too common nowadays for people to defend the widespread method of shidduchim by pointing to the biblical story of Eliezer finding a wife for Yitzchak. Apparently the Torah mandates this method as proper, and therefore there is little else to discuss beyond perhaps fine-tuning the way singles are set up by shadchanim and further shielding them from outside influences and one another.
I find the Orthodox Jewish approach to problem-solving fascinating, in a dark sort of way. It consists of a series of steps that looks something like this:
“And you shall rejoice in your festival” says the pasuk at the end of Parshas Re’ei (16:14), and this is actually a mitzvah. I suspect this is not intended to be one of the more difficult mitzvot for us to fulfill, yet for many hard-working Jews the Yomim Tovim are far greater sources of stress than joy.
Nothing is more elusive than perfection, yet perfection is a notion that frequently surfaces in the realm of shidduchim. For example, singles are often told by people on the outermost fringes of their lives, “I know someone perfect for you.” How preposterous, how presumptuous! Yet singles permit themselves to be excited by this declaration so that they may be further disillusioned when the shidduch invariably turns out to be anything but perfect.
Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/opinions/the-single-minded/2009/02/04/
Scan this QR code to visit this page online: