Shimon looked like he’d been punched in the stomach. He was glad more people didn’t think this way or, heaven forbid, approach dating with such self-defeating ideas.

“You’re really serious. You really believe you’re wasting a company’s time just because you’re exploring other opportunities? Don’t you think they’re doing the same thing? And that’s what you both should be doing, because good opportunities are precious and don’t always conveniently come along exactly when you want or expect them to. Besides, you’re supposed to compare different job prospects. That’s how you gain better clarity of which one is right for you. There’s nothing wrong with that, since you’re approaching the process with sincerity.

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“Mature adults understand this, Moshe. Mature adults realize that you interview with them on a best efforts basis, and that it won’t work out most of the time. That’s normal, and no one should be hurt by that. They also understand that you’re a free agent until you commit to someone. A phone call to set up an interview is only a commitment to interview on a best efforts basis, not to shut yourself off from all other opportunities that may come along until this one reaches a definite resolution. That’s just self-defeating, and you only hurt your chances of finding the right fit this way.”

Moshe smiled. “But you’re forgetting about bitachon. Why would Hashem give me two opportunities at the same time if only one could be the right one? He’s obviously testing my faith that He knows what He’s doing. If He wanted me to interview with your associate He would have sent you a few hours ago.”

Shimon rolled his eyes. “I’m not sure how you could possibly know such a thing. Maybe Hashem wants you to rethink some of your presumptions. And maybe He’s given you the chance to seize an opportunity or squander it.”

“No, Hashem would never let me miss an opportunity. Everything He does is for the best.”

Shimon sighed. “Everything He does is for the best. But not everything you do is for the best. You’re making an unreasonable emotional investment in a first interview, you’re presuming to know what Hashem’s plan is, and you’re passing up a golden opportunity to interview for a job with tremendous potential because of some nonsensical principles that handicap your ability to make intelligent decisions.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” said Moshe. “Thanks for thinking of me, but I have to turn you down, even though the job does sound like the perfect opportunity. This is the Torah way.”

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Rabbi Chananya Weissman is the founder of EndTheMadness and the author of seven books, including "Tovim Ha-Shenayim: A Study of the Role and Nature of Man and Woman." Many of his writings are available at www.chananyaweissman.com. He is also the director and producer of a documentary on the shidduch world, "Single Jewish Male." He can be contacted at [email protected].