Latest update: August 21st, 2012
Achashveiros of Poras,
Beset by domestic tzoras,
Got a quickie fivoras…
But being single again just wasn’t the same.
He needed a wife in his haim
Soon shadchanim bustled
Poor Melech A. was deep in the parsha
With dates set up from Kush to Varsha
Until the King’s own youthful valets
Said, “We have a really great idea
Let’s bring the suitable girls all here!
Then, from every distant Mount and Island
As far as anyone could spy land
The Empire’s maids were gathered.
Arriving in the birah
Each girl got a magnifying mirah,
Perfumes, creams, beautifying potions
Jewels, spices, aromatic lotions…
They primped and curled, used every kintz.
At the time of which we speak
In a part of Porus not known for chic
Lived an exiled tzaddik, Mordechai and Hadassah, his niece
It came to pass this Bas Yisroel, Esther
Was taken in the Royal Search for maidens to sequester
As time went on the King made sure
To meet each lovely maiden
Who tried her best to captivate with makeup and klaiden
Until at last it came the turn of Esther.
The King was smitten, dazed, undone, he said I must confester
Of all the girls you’ve brought me
It’s Esther that has caught me
She’s modest, sweet and better yet
Her beauty takes away my bret
Shnell, tune up my orchester
I’ll marry pretty Esther.
Note: Our heroine never mentioned to a soul that she was Jewish
Mordechai asked her not to, with her royal status newish.
Mordechai stuck close and contemplated the courtyard Gate
From early morn until quite late
And happened so to overhear
Two fellas talking of murdering Esther’s brand-new spouse
Right there in his Royal house
Mordechai gave Esther the crucial information
To stymie the illicit operation
Then Mordechai’s deedin the Book of Days was written.
Then: Achashvairosh, the King
Promoted Haman, a grubber ying.
Haman had an ego the size of Cincinnati
When people didn’t bow to him this Agagite went batty
He really hated Mordechai,
Who just said, softly, “Hey, man, hi,”
See, Mordechai, descendant of Rochel Imainu
Would only ever bow to Tzur Yisheinu
The more he thought about the Jew the more his face would blench.
He asked his helpmeet Zeresh to design a sweet revench
Haman threw a pur, what some might call a Lot.
It told him when to kill the Jews, and ADAR hit the spot.
In every corner of the world where Achashveirosh reigned
The Jews knew they were targeted, the locals not constrained
And on the thirteenth of the month their doom quite legalized
The law was irreversible, their fate well advertised
Mordechai sent word to Esther, Queen of Persia
He told her “Use your influence; it’s no time for inertia.”
She considered dolefully and then to him replied
I’ll go and see my husband, but his love for me is cooling
Please have our people fast for me, three days and nights, no fooling.
Then Esther went to see the King
Risking her life to do the proper thing
The King was glad to see his wife: he was as pleased as punch
Queen Esther asked, “Will you and Haman come for lunch?”
When homeward bound Haman noticed Mordechai who ignored him.
Haman anger glowed, his mood was dark, his joy was now dim
His bile kept rising higher
And all because this upright Jew refused to call him Sire
His wife devised a brilliant plan to make her Hammie happy
They’d raise a gallows to the sky and hang the Jew real snappy.
It happened on that very night the King insomniated
He couldn’t sleep at all though he was not inebriated
So just to pass the time until he fell asleep sedately
He had his servants read to him about what happened lately
They started with the treachery of Seresh and of Bigsan
And how the Jewish Mordechai hut everything gefixan
The King was thrilled with Mordechai and asked
What kind of Glory was bestowed upon this Patriot
Who saved my Upper Story?
Before the lads could answer they heard a sandal scuffing
It was Haman, with his gallows plan no wonder he was huffing
Oh Haman, good you happened by, I have an urgent matter
There is a Certain Fellow who deserves at least a platter..?
Well, Haman swelled, his buttons popped, he’d never felt more mellow
For who, if not himself could be referred to as “that Fellow”?
John Doe, Haman responded, must be robed in garments Royal
Let him ride the king’s own steed adorned with castanets and foil
A Pasha, or a Grand Vizier, must lead the Melech’s Favorite,
Through downtown Shushan publicly so he can fully savour it
This groom must bellow mightily, here passes a true Hero!
The King has glorified this man, compared to him I’m Zero.
No sooner had he shut his yap than Haman did regret it.
For the King commanded, Mordechai the Jew deserves the credit.
So garb him just as you described and have the horse bedighted
And you, my noble minister, will lead him as you cited
Now Haman turned a purple hue, (the man was way too portly)
He thought he’d have a heart attack, he’d been assaulted mortly
But so it was and thus it went, the Jew was elevated
By Haman, the Amalekite, who fumed as they paraded.
The duo passed The Hamans’ Pied A Terre, and at the casement
One of his graceless daughters with her slops paused in amazement
And thinking Haman was bestride, the Jew with reins in hand
She aimed her pail right o’er the rail upon the Jew to land
And fouled instead her father’s head, he reeled and staggered madly
His clothes were drenched, his ego crushed, he needed to bathe, badly
And later as he chug-a-lugged a potent pick-me-upper,
The Palace sent for Haman to come join the Queen for supper.
The King, in Spirits high again, told Esther, his beloved
Your wish is my command, my Queen, and dearer than my kovod
Whatever is your heart’s desire I’ll grant for now and ever
And Esther answered, shockingly, Please save me from the kever
A Wicked Man has paid a sum in order just to butcher
The nation that Amalek hates and never ceased to mutcher
The King was roused to anger and he asked in towering rage
What Varlet dares to harm my Queen, and who has set the stage
Ups Esther loud and bell-like clear: its Haman who’s my foe.
He hates my Mordechai because he’s not a shmoe
He sold us all to be filleted, the man has no compassion.
The King, outraged went out, in tipsy fashion
Then Haman left alone with her, did beg Queen Esther’s pardon
His timing most unfortunate, as just then from the garden
His Majesty returned to find His minister collapsing
Upon the couch where Esther lay, she wasn’t really napsing
That really tore it: Haman was in hot water
He’d torment Jews no longer, thanks to Mama Rachel’s daughter.
Now, Haman’s end was not enough to save the Jews of Shushan
An edict had been signed to law, and read out in each lashan
So Melech A. gave Mordechai executive permission
To write and seal another writ, an Up To Date Edition
Allowing Jews to save themselves, to plan and mount defenses
Against those bent on killing them. They later took a census:
In Shushan many hundreds died attacking local Yiddin
And in addition Haman’s sons, all ten of them, no kiddin
So on Yud Daled Adar and in certain places later
Each year we hear this story read of Haman the Yiddin Hater
His Majesty Achashvairosh King of Kush
And continental Hodoo gave Mordechai rechush
And made him his lieutenant, his second in command
And there was peace and plenty for the Jews in all the land….
And we see whatever happens in this world somehow affects us
But wherever in the world we are we know Hashem protects us.
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