web analytics
March 2, 2015 / 11 Adar , 5775
At a Glance
Judaism
Sponsored Post


A Pathway To Teshuvah

Pill-091412

What does all of this have to do with teshuvah? True humbleness and self-dignity are keys to a certain pathway to teshuvah. I would like to share with you a way to return Hashem and do a complete teshuvah – but I warn you that it is deeply emotional and requires you to believe you are special and deserve a complete relationship with Hashem.

There are five steps to this teshuvah process – change is not easy, but it can be exciting and rewarding – and life changing.

1. The first step is to set aside time for just YOU and Hashem. Turn off your phone, leave your computer, get a babysitter and take a walk or go for a drive – ALONE. Take time away from everyone (this takes humbleness and self-dignity). Be sure to take a pen, paper and tissues with you — you will need it.

2. Divide your paper into three columns. Column one — what I did right this year, column two — what I did wrong this year, column three — what I want to change this year. Look deep and honestly inside yourself and be sure to write things in each column. Often we struggle with the same issues year after year and this is a way to change that. While you write, talk to Hashem about your list. Be proud of what you have done right and ask for help with the things you want to change. This list making and conversation takes time and privacy — give it to yourself — you deserve it.

3. Charata (remorse) – Talk to Hashem and write how you feel about what you have done wrong. If you feel sad about your aveiros — say so. If you feel guilty — say so. If you feel shame, embarrassed, frustrated — say so. So often our well-meaning teshuva doesn’t seem to last because we haven’t faced our feelings honestly. Don’t be afraid to tell Hashem how sorry you are; don’t be afraid to take responsibility for what you have done wrong. Don’t blame others or make excuses. Review this real charata every month — so it will last. Then move forward in your relationship with Hashem and yourself.

4. Work every day to remember how much Hashem loves us and how much He wants us to love ourselves. Write down 10-20 positive affirmations about yourself. This is hard and you may feel silly, awkward or uncomfortable doing this. Teshuva and growth are not always comfortable, however, acknowledging the positive attributed we have will keep us from doing those things which we know are wrong. Review these affirmations every day (it is helpful to do right after davening Shacharis).

5. Make a choice to turn aveiros into mitzvos. Look at the specific issues you listed in your “want to change” column and turn those challenges into mitzvos. For example, if you have trouble remembering to make brachos, pick a specific bracha to concentrate on. If you are having trouble with shalom bayis, commit to complimenting and being positive with your spouse. Be as specific as possible — that is a key to real change. Don’t take on more than you can. Teshuvah is a journey we need to travel on slowly.

Teshuvah is the ability to have enough self-respect and love for Hashem and the Torah to leave behind what is wrong and move to an emotional and spiritual place where we like who we are, where we know Hashem is proud of who we are becoming, and where we do more of what we know is right.

The most famous acronym for Elul is Ani L’dodi V’dodi Li. The two beloveds are Hashem and Bnai Yisroel. I contend that another interpretation is that the two beloveds are us and ourselves. Aveiros pull us apart — Teshuvah brings us together. May this be a year of growth and kindness to ourselves and others, and may we each reach a state of complete teshuvah, feeling positive and proud of who we are and our relationship with Hashem.

Rachel Pill is a therapist in private practice in the Five Towns. She can be reached at Rachelcsw@aol.com.

About the Author: Rachel Pill is a therapist in private practice in the Five Towns. She can be reached at Rachelcsw@aol.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “A Pathway To Teshuvah”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Some 1,500 teens from around the world at the Chabad CTeen convention hear a personal greeting from UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon on March 1, 2015.
Ban Ki-moon Greets 1,500 Jewish Teens at Chabad CTeen Convention
Latest Judaism Stories
Esther Denouncing Haman

Purim is the battleground of extremes, Amalek and Yisrael, with Zoroastrian Persia in between.

Niehaus-022715

One should not give the money before Purim morning or after sunset.

Mendlowitz-022715-Basket

The mishloach manos of times gone by were sometimes simple and sometimes elaborate, but the main focus was on the preparation of the delicious food they contained.

Winiarz-022715-Kids

Does Hashem ever go away and not pay attention to us?

In other words, the Torah is an expression of the Way that we must follow in order to live a divine-like life and to bond in the highest way possible with God or Being Itself.

The Chasam Sofer answers that one of only prohibited from wearing a garment that contains shatnez if he does so while wearing the garment for pleasure purposes.

The avodah (service) of the kohen gadol is vital and highly sensitive; the world’s very existence depends on it.

Moreover, even if the perpetrator of the capital offense is never actually executed, such as when the fatal act was unintentional, Kam Lei applies and the judge cannot award damages.

Forever After?
‘Obligated for Challahh and Not Terumah’
(Kesubos 25a)

Question: If Abraham was commanded to circumcise his descendants on the eighth day, why do Arabs – who claim to descend from Abraham through Yishmael – wait until their children are 13 to circumcise them? I am aware that this is a matter of little consequence to our people. Nevertheless, this inconsistency is one that piques my curiosity.

M. Goldman
(Via E-mail)

“We really appreciate your efforts in straightening the shul,” said Mr. Reiss. “How is it going?”

This was a spontaneous act of rest after the miracle of vanquishing their respective foes. The following year they celebrated on the same days as a minhag.

The way we must to relate to our young adult children is to communicate with genuine loving-kindness

Jewish prayer is a convergence of 2 modes of biblical spirituality, exemplified by Moses and Aaron

In holy places it’s important to maintain a level of silence permitting people to dialogue with God

More Articles from Rachel Pill
Pill-091412

Yom Hadin is almost here and this time of year brings with it a range of emotions. Some people are excited – a new year, the start of school, new clothing. For others, Rosh Hashanah instills fear – the need to correct wrongdoings, to beg for forgiveness and make promises to be better. For still others, there is a feeling of being overwhelmed – either by the awe of the Yom Hadin or perhaps the reality of so many days of Shabbos, Yom Tov, Shabbos (that’s a lot of cooking and baking). We are often so busy taking care of all the “things” that need to be done, that we don’t have enough time for spiritual and emotional preparation. It feels like most years I come to Selichos feeling as if I haven’t done enough to prepare.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/holidays/a-pathway-to-teshuvah/2012/09/13/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: