web analytics
October 22, 2014 / 28 Tishri, 5775
At a Glance
Judaism
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim with Soldiers 5774 Roundup: Year of Relief and Service for Israel’s Needy

Meir Panim implements programs that serve Israel’s neediest populations with respect and dignity. Meir Panim also coordinated care packages for families in the South during the Gaza War.



The Blessing Of The Black Mark

Lessons-logo

Avi and Rachel had always assumed, as most people do, that within a year or two of their marriage they would be blessed with a child. But, as we know, that isn’t always the reality.

Wishing, hoping and praying don’t always bring about the desired results. So eventually Avi and Rachel visited an infertility clinic and started what was to be many years of tests and treatments – coupled with high hopes and devastating disappointments.

At what point do you give up and conclude that it just isn’t meant to be? The answer is different for each couple. The tests and treatments take a terrible toll, both emotionally and financially. They often disrupt your professional and social lives. Yet if there is the slightest chance that this time it might work, couples continue to go through cycle after cycle of tries and treatments.

No one who hasn’t been in a similar situation should ever argue with such a couple over what is enough personal hishtadlut, to what lengths the couple should go in order to try and fulfill their wish to have a child and thereby fulfill the mitzvah of peru u’revu (be fruitful and multiply).

You have no idea how lucky you are if you have never listened to a group of friends discussing nighttime feeds, diaper rash, morning sickness, and teething – and had absolutely nothing to contribute to the conversation except a feeling of loneliness and deprivation. And you are truly blessed if you have never gone home day after day, week after week, year after year to a deathly quiet house awaiting your husband’s return from work and knowing that you will never admit to him how empty and useless you feel – because that would only add to his pain.

For some couples this pain is easier to confront than dealing with the merry-go-round of emotions they are subjected to while on fertility treatment. But Avi and Rachel were determined to continue as long as the slightest hope existed that another round might prove to be successful.

Having tried years of treatments in Israel, where fertility treatments are internationally renowned, they decided – based on medical advice – to go for treatment in the United States.

Several unsuccessful years later, living in New York and having settled into an unhappy routine of work, study and treatment with his wife, Avi had to return to Israel suddenly for a family emergency. The couple decided that he would travel alone and return as soon as possible. However, as he was about to board the plane for the return flight to the U.S., the clerk looked at his passport and shook his head. “You can’t enter the U.S. Have you seen your passport?” Avi had no idea what the clerk was talking about. He explained that he had only returned to Israel for a week or so, and that he was currently living in New York. His passport was current and his wife was awaiting him. So could he please board the plane?

“No. I can’t let you board the plane because the authorities will only turn you back when you get there,” the clerk said. “Look, do you see this stamp? It forbids entry into the United States.”

Avi uncomprehendingly stared at the stamp. It was a large black blight on his passport that he had never seen before – and had certainly never been aware of when it was stamped. He couldn’t even make out what was written on it.

“But I have to go back, my wife’s there,” Avi protested. “I’ve never seen this before; it must be a mistake.”

“Well, if it’s a mistake you had better deal with it here before you even think about boarding the plane,” he was told.

Avi turned away with his luggage. Maybe this was Hashem’s way of telling him that he and Rachel had been away too long. It was time to come home and accept the decree. Maybe this was the sign that enough was enough.

He called Rachel and together they decided that it was time to leave the U.S. and return to their home in Israel. It was time to move forward with their life. And if that life did not include children, so be it.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “The Blessing Of The Black Mark”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Israel's Deputy Ambassador to the United Nations David Roet, at a UNSC meeting held July 22, 2014 regarding the Palestinian Arab-Israeli conflict.
Israel Attempts to Insert Reason into UN Debate About Middle East
Latest Judaism Stories
Noah and his Family; mixed media collage by Nathan Hilu. Courtesy Hebrew Union College Museum

Myth #1: It is easy to be a B’nai Noach. It is extraordinarily hard to be a B’nai Noach.

God-and the world

The creation of the world is described twice. Each description serves a unique purpose.

Questions-Answers-logo

Question: I recently loaned money to a friend who has been able to repay only part of it. This was an interest-free loan. We exchanged a signed IOU, not a proper shtar with witnesses, since I have always trusted her integrity and only wanted a document that confirms what was loaned and what was repaid. Now that shemittah is approaching, what should I do? Should I forgive the loan? And if my friend is not able to repay it, may I deduct the unpaid money from my ma’aser requirement?

Name Withheld

Lessons-in-Emunah-new

To the surprise of our protectzia-invested acquaintances, my family has thrived in our daled amos without that amenity, b’ezras Hashem.

Shimon started adjusting the branches on the roof. In doing so, a branch fell off the other side of the car and hit the side-view mirror, cracking it.

I, the one who is housed inside this body, am completely and utterly spiritual.

Should we sit in the sukkah on a day that may be the eighth day when we are not commanded to sit in the sukkah at all?

For Appearance’s Sake
‘Shammai Did Not Follow Their Own Ruling’
(Yevamos 13b 14a)

If one hurts another human being, God is hurt; if one brings joy to another, God is more joyous.

I’m grateful to Hashem for everything; Just the same, I’d love a joyous Yom Tov without aggravation.

Bereshit: Life includes hard choices that challenge our decisions, leaving lingering complications.

Rabbi Fohrman:” Great evils are often wrought by those who are blithely unaware of the power they wield.”

The emphasis on choice, freedom and responsibility is a most distinctive features of Jewish thought.

The Torah emphasizes the joy of Sukkot, for after a season of labor, we celebrate our prosperity.

The encounter with the timeless stability of the divine occurs within the Sukkot.

More Articles from Penina Pinchasi
Lessons-logo

Kidney transplants from a living donor are infinitely preferable over a transplant from a dead person. The chances of it being rejected by the body are much lower, the life expectancy of the newly transplanted kidney is twice as high, and the recipient’s life and diet can return to normal much faster.

Lessons-logo

Avi and Rachel had always assumed, as most people do, that within a year or two of their marriage they would be blessed with a child. But, as we know, that isn’t always the reality.

To be honest, I never really understand what’s happening on the screen during an ultrasound scan. But on this visit the technician was strangely quiet. I looked at the screen. “How come you’re not showing me everything?” I asked. “It’s all still there, isn’t it?” I asked jokingly.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/jewish-columns/lessons-in-emunah/the-blessing-of-the-black-mark/2013/09/03/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: