web analytics
August 2, 2015 / 17 Av, 5775
At a Glance
Judaism
Sponsored Post


Anguish That Does Not Go Away: Reader Responses


Jungreis-Rebbetzin-Esther

Shadchanim must always bear in mind the weight their words carry and how they affect the singles they come in contact with.

 

Letter 2 – from a shadchan to the reader whose letter appeared in the Jan. 16 issue:

Dear Anguished:

I am a shadchan living in the Five Towns. I can assure you your complaints do not go unheeded. There are so many wonderful people who do care a lot about the plight of singles of all ages. We spend many hours and days looking for shidduchs for all of the people who send us their resumes. We e-mail other shadchanim (men and women) to share their singles and hopefully, we connect for even one couple. We have seminars where the whole community gets together to find ways to help.

Even our busy rebbetzins share their advice and urge all members of the shul to become involved. I personally like the “Table for Eight Shabbos” which brings 24 singles together for a meaningful but most importantly a sociable Shabbos.

What do I get out of it? A challenge to the so-called shidduch crisis. I don’t give up. To complain to you that both men and women don’t get back to us is a waste of precious time. So many of you will not change your lists of priorities and just keep missing out on potential mates.

Even though I don’t know you, you are a neshamah looking for your soul mate. I want to help. I’ll do my hishtadlus for you as long as you remember that Hashem loves you always. Daven to Him, cry to Him. Maybe your prayers will be answered because someone else, a stranger, in fact, cares enough to give their time and prayers for you.

My son, a”h, passed away at the age of 19. His soul must be in Shamayim because his basherte on this earth was never meant to be. I decided, as I returned my gift to Hashem, that I would try to find z’voogim – soul mates – for others and give thanks to Hashem for the gift I had those 19 years.

In the zechus – merit – that his neshamah has an aliyah, I welcome you to allow me to find someone for you.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

2 Responses to “Anguish That Does Not Go Away: Reader Responses”

  1. Ramona says:

    Here is a completely different perspective–one that shows I and my friends are not alone in being happily single: http://www.bostonmagazine.com/articles/single_by_choice_why_more_of_us_than_ever_before_are_happy_to_never_get_married/page1

  2. Mysterious Lady says:

    The shadchan was probably very unhappy in her own marriage and was looking for someone weaker, more vulnerable to take out her own unhappiness on. Also, she was a bully and a sadist in her behavior toward someone in a vulnerable position. This is what I would have said: “Hashem has given me an appearance that attracts many men for the wrong reason. My mother always warned me to keep my distance from men who are attracted to me for superficial reasons. I immediately know when men do not have ruchnius in mind. This is why I am not married. Although I am careful to dress in the most tzniusdik way, I find myself surrounded by men (and their mothers) who are obviously looking for beauty. I am deeper than that and want someone who sees beyond the pleasing surface. All I will say is that you are mistaken in your assumption that I lack the qualities men are looking for. I will say no more about myself, since that would be untzniusdik.”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Jonathan Pollard.
Dear Jonathan: A Letter of Concern
Latest Judaism Stories
Torat-Hakehillah-logo-NEW

By internalizing the Exodus, it is as if we ourselves were redeemed from Egypt.

Neihaus-073115

Each Shabbos we add the tefilla of “Ritzei” to Birchas HaMazon. In it we ask Hashem that on this day of Shabbos He should be pleased with us and save us. What exactly do we want to be saved from? Before we answer this question, let’s talk about this Friday, the 15th of Av. Many […]

Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

Amongst the greatest disagreements in Judaism is the understanding of the 1st of the 10 Commandments

Daf-Yomi-logo

The Day He Heard
‘One May Seek Revocation Of A Confimation’
(Nedarim 69a)

The director picked up the phone to Rabbi Dayan. “One of our counselors lost his check,” he said. “Do we have to issue a new one or is it his loss?”

Six events occurred on Tu B’Av, the 15th of Av, making it a festive day in the Jewish calendar.

Why would Moshe Rabbeinu have thought that the vow that disallowed him to enter Eretz Yisrael was annulled simply because he was allowed to conquer and enter the land of Sichon and Og?

Question: When a stranger approaches a congregant in shul asking for tzedakah, should the congregant verify that the person’s need is genuine? Furthermore, what constitutes tzedakah? Is a donation to a synagogue, yeshiva, or hospital considered tzedakah?

Zvi Kirschner
(Via E-Mail)

Snow in Jerusalem! For many New Englanders like me, snow pulls at our nostalgic heartstrings like nothing else can.

Man has conflicting wishes and desires. Man has forces pulling him in competing directions.

Perhaps the admonition here is that we should not trivialize the events of the past by saying that they are irrelevant to the modern Jew.

One must view the settlement of Israel in a positive light. Thinking otherwise is a grievous sin.

Reaching a stronger understanding of what Moses actually did to prevent him from entering the land

Anti-Zionism, today’s anti-Semitism, has gone viral, tragically supported globally & by many Jews

More Articles from Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Money comes and goes but its love, commitment, warmth, and kindness that make a family a family.

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

To my dismay, I’ve seen that shidduch candidates with money become ALL desirable traits for marriage

Zaidie’s legacy of smiles and loving words was all but buried with him, now the family fights over $

Jewish survival in a dysfunctional world requires women assuming the role Hashem gave them at Sinai

In every generation is the challenge to purge the culture of our exile from our minds and our hearts

His mother called “Yoni, Yoni!” Her eyes, a moment earlier dark with pain, shone with joy and hope

Pesach bonds families and generations: “So that you may relate it to your son and your son’s son.

Amalek’s hate never dies; its descendants are eternal & omnipresent; Hashem is our only protection

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/rebbetzins-viewpointrebbetzin-jungreis/anguish-that-does-not-go-away-reader-responses/2012/01/04/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: