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December 21, 2014 / 29 Kislev, 5775
 
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Anguish That Does Not Go Away: The Singles Problem (Part Three)


Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

There are other important lessons to be learned from Eliezer’s shidduch parshah – lessons that speak to us today as they did in days of yore. B’ezrat Hashem, we will study them next week.

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2 Responses to “Anguish That Does Not Go Away: The Singles Problem (Part Three)”

  1. Mysterious Lady says:

    The desperation of women in their 30′s make them ripe for exploitation, both by shaddchanim and by men who employ what I call “emotional scams”. The shadchanim waste the women’s time and are not serious or erhlich. The women in their 30′s are often baalei teshuvah who are naive, or gerot, formerly Christian, believing and again, naive about frumkeit and about people. They are taken advantage of (by which I mean strung along) by men, especially on the West Side of Manhattan, who waste their time, pretending they are serious, but they are not. They are time wasters. One told a girl who had been misgayer (converted) that she should move to New York where he lived – she lived out of town, in fact across the country! He made no move to get engaged, merely said she should move to New York so as to facilitate their continued dating.

    When her older friend asked me, why would he do something like that? I answered, sadism. Holding out her heart’s desire, only to snatch it away once she moved to NY. He would drop her like a hot potato once she was within convenient “dating” distance.

    So she quickly, on the rebound, married a man in another state, which was a disaster – a disaster that resulted in two babies. She moved back to live with her mother in her old city, but her husband of course served her with legal papers requiring her to live near him so he could see his children. This very pretty 32 year old was victimized once again. She married “frum”, and the man was looking for a pretty and passive girl. He found that in someone new to Judaism.

    There are worse things than being single. And that is being victimized by time wasters, people with bad character, and men who are out to exploit you and bind you to a life of misery with 2 children – you who were so recently pretty and free to choose. Now this young woman cannot choose, cannot live where she wants to, and her community will have to support her children in the day school. A tragedy all around.

  2. Henry says:

    Dear rebetzen im writing to you about dating ,Iam a very modern orthodox person and dont tell me to change i come from a ultra orthodox backround ,How are modern orthodox singels to meet. Iam not intrested in balei teshuve or right wing orthodox and i will never marry a women who covers her hair .i will date peaple who are shommer shabbos weather their right wing conservative or modern orthodox , however i will not go to single functions of henini or right wing orthodox that will never happen it would be a waste of time and dont tell me to change.

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