web analytics
May 24, 2013 /15 Sivan, 5773
At a Glance ▼
Judaism
Sponsored Post
The Tosfos Yomtov was convinced that the death of 300,000 –600,000 Jews during the Chmielnicki massacres of 1648-49 were because of improper Tefila. Communicated: Tefilla

Chillul Tefila Bifarhesia, as well as halachicly challenged verbiage and dress, are external manifestations of a critical lack of personal yiras shomayim which has lethal consequences.



Little Things That Can Make A Big Difference


Latest update: May 22nd, 2013
tell a friend
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

We live in a very chaotic world. If we stop to consider what is happening around us – all the things that are out of our control – it can be frustrating and frightening, so most of us try to bypass these situations by pretending we do not see them.

Undoubtedly there are many matters beyond our control – illness, economic disaster, escalating anti-Semitism masked as anti-Zionism, etc. While in most cases we are unable to control those types of challenges, there are other situations that appear to be inconsequential but nevertheless are irritating – and, with a little effort and consideration, can be avoided. I’ve recently received several letters that fall into this category.

Letter 1: Music That Hurts

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

The decibel level of the music at our simchas is too loud! I came home from a wedding with a relative and his wife. The wife complained that she got a headache from the loud music. Once I went to a chassunah and found it impossible to talk to anyone. Therefore we went into the lobby to talk. Everything was fine until a man opened one of the double doors of the men’s section and the music blasted into the lobby.

Young mothers bring babies or young children to thesesimchas – some of the children can’t even talk. The child might be crying because of the loud music and he can’t tell mommy the music is hurting his ears. Other people, such as our mothers and grandmothers, don’t dance but want to socialize at these simchas. How can they talk to anyone with the music blasting in their ears?

How about the people who serve the food and clean up at these simchas? They are working and being subjected to the loud music regularly.

Teenagers, non-Jews who attend rock concerts suffer a hearing loss later in life. Must we Yidden, chas v’shalom, also suffer the same fate?

There is a way to lower the decibel level of the music. My son spoke to the person who will play at his chassunah, which will take place soon. If that person can do it, anyone can!

Sincerely yours,

A mother and grandmother

Letter 2: Marred Simchas

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

Approximately two months ago, my wife and I had the zechus, the merit, of celebrating the wedding of our daughter. This was the first time we made a wedding. We were so happy and went all out to make the occasion as special as possible. We drew up our wedding list but, to our regret, had to cut many people we would have liked to invite. Our machatonim – in-laws – have a very large family. The young couple has many friends, so were we forced to rewrite our guest list several times. But with all the cutting, we ended up sending out 350 invitations, with 300 responding affirmatively. We had to stretch our budget since we never realized how even a simple wedding could be so expensive. However, we went ahead because we did not want to hurt anyone.

Well, you can imagine our shock and disappointment when, after the chuppah, a large number of guests for whom we had made reservations left. During the course of the celebration, my wife and I, along with the young couple, visited every table. To our dismay, we found most of the tables half-empty. People who had replied that they would attend went home after the chuppah. Now, no one likes to sit at an empty table and the guests who remained felt alone and isolated, and my wife and I felt we had been taken advantage of. We had a huge bill that was thrown-out money.

After much discussion, my wife and I decided we had to try to do something and decided to write to you in the hope you would bring this to the attention of your readers so that people would think twice before they check off “yes” on their response cards.

Before I conclude, I would like to call your attention to yet another irritant – people who do not respond to an invitation. You have to call them up to ask if they are planning to attend. I find such behavior unconscionable, and, believe me, we had many such people.

In conclusion, there is much grief in this world, so if, Baruch Hashem, we have a simcha, why should it be marred by lack of consideration and mentschlechkeit?

tell a friend

About the Author:


You might also be interested in:


no comments

You must log in to post a comment.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich
Rep. John Conyers Apologizes for Louis Farrakhan’s Antisemitic Remarks
Latest Judaism Stories
Leff-052413
Judaism → Parsha

Do you say Shema before you go to sleep? I’m sure you do.

But perhaps you, like many, feel too tired at night to say the entire tefillah of Kri’as Shema as it appears in the siddur. If you do say the entire tefillah, you will recognize a pasuk in this week’s Haftorah. And if you don’t say the whole Kri’as Shema al Hamitah, perhaps after this column, you’ll re-consider and find yourself connecting with the following very comforting pasuk.

Niehaus-052413
Judaism → Parsha

The sand is rapidly running through the hourglass, as the centrifuges in the secret Iranian nuclear plants spin furiously. It is quite clear that the Iranians are on the brink of attaining nuclear capability, and we are well aware of the danger that would face Klal Yisroel in that event, chas v’sholom. All the sanctions, threats, and computer worm attacks do not seem to be stopping them, and it is terrifying. And when we see how vulnerable we are to terrorist attacks anywhere in the world, we become even more terrified.

The-Shmuz
Judaism → Parsha

Miriam spoke disparagingly about Moshe Rabbeinu. Because of this, she contracted tzaras, and for seven days she was sent outside the camp of Israel.

Business-Halacha-logo
Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

Samuel Scherr was a very successful businessman. He also was generous and would share of his wealth with others. In this way, he became the uncle of favor to his nieces and nephews, whom he would frequently shower with gifts.

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

Detached Or Unrelated
‘He Made An Asheirah Tree Into a Ladder…’
(Eruvin 78b)

Judaism → Parsha

In this week’s parshah we read about the individuals who were tamei and thus could not bring the korban Pesach. They approached Moshe Rabbeinu and asked him whether there was anything they could do to bring the korban. Ultimately, Hashem told Moshe that they should bring a korban a month after Pesach, on the 14th of Iyar.

Judaism → Ask the Rabbi

Question: As Shavuot is fast approaching – a holiday on which we dwell on the story of Ruth and the origins of the royal house of David – I was wondering if you could help me resolve something. Some people say that Rabbi Yehudah HaNassi, the redactor of the six orders of the Mishnah and a scion of King David, purposely kept any mention of Chanukah and the Hasmonean kings out of the Mishnah because the Hasmoneans improperly crowned themselves and ignored the rule that all Jewish kings are supposed to come from the tribe of Yehudah. Is this true?

Menachem
(Via E-Mail)

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

One of the thirty-nine prohibited melachot on Shabbat is carrying an object from a private domain, reshut hayachid, to a public domain, reshut harabim, or carrying an object a distance of four amot, six to eight feet, in a reshut harabim. The Torah does permit, however, carrying within the reshut hayachid itself. The definition of a reshut hayachid and a reshut harabim is crucial, therefore, to the laws of carrying on Shabbat.

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

Question: The Midrash notes that the song the Jews sang after they crossed the Red Sea (“Az Yashir”) was unique; its likes had never been heard before in the world. Our Sages even refer to it as a shirah chadashah, a “new song.” What made “Az Yashir” so unique and in what sense was it a “new song”?

Judaism → Columns → Lessons In Emunah

The rav was not a wealthy man, but earned enough to live comfortably. He earned his money by serving as the rav of a religious community in Yerushalayim. He also received some royalties from sefarim he had written over the years. He was well known, and many people approached him for a berachah, advice and help. They were not turned away.

Judaism → Columns → Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

Tanach, the Hebrew Bible, is remarkable for the extreme realism with which it portrays human character. Its heroes are not superhuman. Its non-heroes are not archetypal villains. The best have failings; the worst often have saving virtues. I know of no other religious literature quite like it.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Last week I shared a letter from a newly observant Jewish woman. She and her husband reside in a small suburban community outside of Los Angeles. Last year they came to consult with me on a personal religious issue. While they were both ba’alei teshuvah, there was one fine difference between them. He had become a ba’al teshuvah earlier than she and was therefore somewhat more settled in an observant lifestyle.

Judaism → Torah

I watch my children use blocks to build a large structure, observing the trepidation with which they add each block. As the structure becomes larger there is a greater risk of it collapsing, thus bringing an end to an hour of playful labor. I anticipate what will happen when one child adds a block to the top floor, compromising the integrity of the building and resulting in the collapse of the entire structure. The argument that ensues is predictable, as each child blames the other for “ruining” the fun. As an adult, I wonder about the need to attribute blame. Will assigning blame be instrumental in rebuilding the structure?

Judaism → Parsha

In this week’s parshah the Torah discusses the halachos of when one steals from another and when confronted in beis din, the thief swears falsely with his denial that he stole. This parshah was already taught in parshas Vayikra; however, there are two halachos that the Torah adds in this parshah to this topic.

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

In order to carry from one’s home into the street (even when the area is enclosed by a properly constructed eruv), the eruvin ceremony must be performed. This ceremony involves the placing of food in one designated home on behalf of all Sabbath observers in the enclosed area. In order for the eruvin ceremony to be valid, however, it must be performed on behalf of all owners of streets and homes in the enclosed area.

More Articles from Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Last week I shared a letter from a newly observant Jewish woman. She and her husband reside in a small suburban community outside of Los Angeles. Last year they came to consult with me on a personal religious issue. While they were both ba’alei teshuvah, there was one fine difference between them. He had become a ba’al teshuvah earlier than she and was therefore somewhat more settled in an observant lifestyle.

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Over the years I’ve received letters from all over the world in which people share feelings and thoughts they’ve experienced upon becoming became Torah observant. Usually these letters arrive not long after the writers had heard one of my speeches. No matter where a particular speech took place, and no matter whether I spoke the language or had to use a translator, the magic always works. In reality, it’s not magic at all but a little voice in the soul – the “Pintele Yid,” that spark of G-d’s Word engraved on all our neshamahs. Here is one recent letter.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Last week I wrote about the many disappointments in life. So often we dream of something, wish for something, pray for something – only to discover that when it happens, it is not quite the way we envisioned it. I illustrated this concept through a Hungarian story I recalled from my childhood about a little boy who more than anything else wanted a rocking horse, a coveted toy in Hungary.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

There is a Hungarian tale I’ve always found meaningful and yet sad. It is about a little boy who always wanted his own rocking horse. (In Hungry a rocking horse was a toy that belonged to only the privileged few.)

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

For several weeks now we’ve been discussing lack of gratitude – one of the most destructive forces in our society. When people think everything is coming to them, they become selfish, angry individuals. They do not know how to reciprocate. They do not know how to be grateful and, worse still, they become bitter and destructive elements in society. They make miserable sons, daughters and marriage partners. They have no regard for parents, grandparents, Torah teachers and the elderly.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

As I’ve noted in recent weeks, appreciation is a lost concept in our society. Even when we are blessed by the many kindnesses of G-d, we tend to take them for granted and delude ourselves into thinking we are responsible for them all. In vain did our Torah warn us not to fall into the trap of “my strength and the power of my own hand accomplished this.”

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

My saintly father, HaRav HaGoan HaTzaddik Avraham HaLevi Jungreis, zt”l, taught me that before I address an audience I should ask myself, “What will the people take home from my message? What am I giving? Will it enhance their lives? Will it bring the individual closer to Hashem? Will it be a life-altering experience?”

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Nachman and Raizy Glauber, a”h, were killed in a horrific automobile accident. Their unborn baby survived for a short time but then joined his parents in olam haba. The tragedy shocked us all.

    Latest Poll

    If you could only choose one of the following scenarios regarding Chareidi IDF service, which would you choose?





    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/rebbetzins-viewpointrebbetzin-jungreis/little-things-that-can-make-a-big-difference-2/2010/12/15/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online:

Related posts:

  1. Rebbetzin Jungreis In Irvine
  2. The Imago Theory
  3. One Marriage, Two Worlds
Close