web analytics
June 19, 2013 / 11 Tammuz, 5773
At a Glance ▼
Judaism
Sponsored Post
Bicycle in South Pioneers of the Periphery: Olim of the South

Got that pioneering spirit? You’re invited to help build Israel’s periphery by planting roots in southern soil with Nefesh B’Nefesh.



One Marriage, Two Worlds

tell a friend
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis,

I was born into a secular family. Neither my father nor my mother had Jewish names and I was never given one either. In college I met the man I knew I would marry. After graduation we rented an apartment in Manhattan. I was a lawyer and found a good job. My boyfriend was a CPA. After six years we felt financially secure and got married.

We were blessed with a son and a daughter and life was not too complicated. We had our conflicts and sometimes even long silences for one reason or another but by and large we had a solid marriage. Then one of my closest friends, who had became observant, gave me a book of yours. I had no intention of reading it so I put it aside. I was never interested in Jewish books and yours remained untouched.

But one day when I was under a great deal of stress I picked up your book and started to read. It captured me and I couldn’t put it down. I told my friend I truly appreciated her gift and that it touched me like no other book ever had.

“Why don’t you come with me to one of the Rebbetzin’s classes and get to know her personally?” she asked. I declined her invitation, telling her I was overwhelmed with work and didn’t have time to go to lectures.

My friend didn’t give up. One day I gave in just to get her off my back, though I’ll admit I was curious to meet you and see what you were really like.

That visit turned out to be life transforming. Your words penetrated my heart. I felt you were speaking directly to me. For the first time I felt my Jewishness. I asked you if you’d sign my book. I remember your welcoming smile as you asked me, “What is your Jewish name?” The question really hit me. It kept echoing in my mind. How is it, I wondered, that I could have lived all these years and never thought my identity was connected to my Jewish name?

Until that day I never quite understood the enormity of the vacuum that existed in my life. That night was an awakening for me. For the very first time I felt a need to connect with my heritage – to know what it meant to be a Jew. I started attending your classes regularly but never asked to speak to you privately. I would sit in the back of the room and try to be as invisible as possible while absorbing every word. I knew that eventually I would have to move on to the next step and act upon the mitzvot.

Then my husband was transferred to his firm’s Florida office. It was difficult to adjust at first. My friends were all in New York. It was hard for my children as well. They had to acclimate to a new school and new friends. I missed your classes but I had your weekly broadcasts on the Internet to look forward to. I joined a small but warm and embracing synagogue. I continued to study Torah as I did at Hineni in New York and with each day I became more and more committed to my Judaism.

With the passage of time I became observant of the mitzvot. At first it was kashrus. I bought new pots, pans and dishes. Consequently I had my first real fight with my husband over Judaism. He liked bacon and seafood. He enjoyed going out to dinner in non-kosher restaurants. I asked him to please respect our Torah. He argued that I was imposing a lifestyle on him he never wanted. I realized that to some extent he was right. I argued, however, that while it was true that when we got married Judaism had no place in our lives, it did not mean we were bound to that way of life forever.

I became shomer Shabbos and asked him not make a mockery of the holy day. He didn’t care. He continued to drive, watch television and do all the other things one does on a weekday. When I asked him to come to the Shabbos table to make Kiddush over wine, he became livid. He wouldn’t hear of it. I was concerned that our children would be misled and confused. I was worried that if our children saw their father violating our Jewish traditions they would emulate him and reject a Torah way of life.

Pages: 1 2 All Pages
tell a friend

About the Author:


You might also be interested in:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.
no comments

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Latest Judaism Stories
Taste-of-Lomdus-logo
Judaism → Parsha

In this week’s parshah Bilam decides to approach Balak with the intention of cursing the Bnei Yisrael. En route his donkey refused to continue on the path, continuing to veer to the side of the road. At one point the donkey smashed Bilam’s leg into the wall. Bilam hit his donkey three different times. The reason that his donkey would not proceed is because it saw that there was a malach standing in the road with his sword drawn.

Lessons-logo
Judaism → Columns → Lessons In Emunah

The GPS had not been invented when Shelly set off on a Friday afternoon many years ago to join the Bnei Akiva camp in the English countryside. The organizers always managed to find a farmer who welcomed young campers under adult supervision; thus they set up their tents and during the week took the opportunity to learn the halachot of building an eruv. There would be no problems on Shabbat and they would be able to carry within the campsite.

YU-061413
Judaism → Parsha

The Rambam, therefore, adds a second component: by getting angry, Moshe misled the people as to the nature of God. The masses felt that Moshe’s anger was reflective of God’s anger.

Judaism → Parsha

One of the most complex Tanach personalities is the central figure of this week’s Haftorah: Yiftach, the Shofet, Judge.

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

“I saw an advertisement for group swimming lessons during the summer,” Mr. Leiner said to his wife. “I think it would be good for our Pinchas.”

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

She is my first child to reach this stage and, frankly, I’m worried.

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

Rabbeinu Tam Tefillin
‘Transgressing Bal Tigra’
(Eruvin 100a)

Judaism → Ask the Rabbi

Question: As Shavuot is fast approaching – a holiday on which we dwell on the story of Ruth and the origins of the royal house of David – I was wondering if you could help me resolve something. The Mishnah never makes any mention of the Hasmonean kings, the mitzvah to light a Chanukah menorah, or the miracle of the oil that lasted eight days. Some people say that Rabbi Yehudah HaNassi – the redactor of the six orders of the Mishnah and a scion of King David – omitted these topics because the Hasmoneans improperly crowned themselves, ignoring the rule that all Jewish kings are supposed to come from the tribe of Yehudah. They argue that this is also why the Talmud does not include a separate tractate on Chanukah. Is this true?

Menachem
(Via E-Mail)

Judaism → Parsha

In this week’s parshah the Torah discusses many halachos of tumah. One halacha is that a person who is tamei may not enter the Mikdash. Doing so makes him liable for kareis.

Judaism → Columns → Lessons In Emunah

The highway was packed with bumper-to-bumper traffic, and there I sat with hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel, begging the cars to move. My heart swelled at the thought of seeing my son, who was just coming back from his year of learning in Eretz Yisrael. How I had missed him! Though I was used to him being away (if you can ever really get used to a child being away), a special space in my heart was empty – as I waited for him.

Judaism → Torah

No one lives in a vacuum. No, that doesn’t mean we didn’t get sucked up through a vacuum cleaner hose in the pre-Pesach cleaning frenzy, it means that whether we like it or not, our environment—the people and things around us—makes a big impact on who we are.

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

According to biblical law, once an area has been converted in to a reshut hayachid by enclosing it with a halachically acceptable eruv, one may carry inside the enclosed area. But according to rabbinical law, it is simply not enough to enclose an area in which one wants to carry with an eruv. This alone will not permit carrying from the home into the street or vice versa. Neither will it alone permit carrying from a condominium apartment into the lobby or other common areas.

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

Yidsville had a small but dedicated Jewish community. There was one Orthodox synagogue, led by Rabbi Well, a day school, women’s mikveh, kosher butcher shop, pizza store and restaurants.

Judaism → Parsha

In this week’s parshah the Torah tells us that Hashem told Aharon to redeem every firstborn child. This is known as pidyon haben. The Rema, in Yoreh De’ah 305:10, rules in the name of the Rivash that one may not appoint a shaliach to perform pidyon haben. Many Acharonim argue with this ruling and posit that one can appoint a shaliach to perform pidyon haben.

More Articles from Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

She is my first child to reach this stage and, frankly, I’m worried.

Women of the Wall at the Kotel on May 10, 2013, the first day of the Hebrew month of Sivan.
Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

What is it that God expects of us and what is the mission He assigned for us?

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

There is a story about a man full of worry who goes to his Rebbe to seek his advice. “Rebbe,” he cries, “I have parnassah problems. Yankel opened the same store as mine just down the block and his business is thriving while mine is going down.”

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Last week I shared a letter from a newly observant Jewish woman. She and her husband reside in a small suburban community outside of Los Angeles. Last year they came to consult with me on a personal religious issue. While they were both ba’alei teshuvah, there was one fine difference between them. He had become a ba’al teshuvah earlier than she and was therefore somewhat more settled in an observant lifestyle.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Over the years I’ve received letters from all over the world in which people share feelings and thoughts they’ve experienced upon becoming became Torah observant. Usually these letters arrive not long after the writers had heard one of my speeches. No matter where a particular speech took place, and no matter whether I spoke the language or had to use a translator, the magic always works. In reality, it’s not magic at all but a little voice in the soul – the “Pintele Yid,” that spark of G-d’s Word engraved on all our neshamahs. Here is one recent letter.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Last week I wrote about the many disappointments in life. So often we dream of something, wish for something, pray for something – only to discover that when it happens, it is not quite the way we envisioned it. I illustrated this concept through a Hungarian story I recalled from my childhood about a little boy who more than anything else wanted a rocking horse, a coveted toy in Hungary.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

There is a Hungarian tale I’ve always found meaningful and yet sad. It is about a little boy who always wanted his own rocking horse. (In Hungry a rocking horse was a toy that belonged to only the privileged few.)

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

For several weeks now we’ve been discussing lack of gratitude – one of the most destructive forces in our society. When people think everything is coming to them, they become selfish, angry individuals. They do not know how to reciprocate. They do not know how to be grateful and, worse still, they become bitter and destructive elements in society. They make miserable sons, daughters and marriage partners. They have no regard for parents, grandparents, Torah teachers and the elderly.

    Latest Poll

    Female, Orthodox, Halachic Deciders and Spiritual Leaders (Maharat)









    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/rebbetzins-viewpointrebbetzin-jungreis/one-marriage-two-worlds/2013/02/20/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online:

No related posts.

Close