web analytics
November 25, 2014 / 3 Kislev, 5775
At a Glance
Judaism
Sponsored Post
IDC Herzliya Campus A Day on Campus

To mark IDC Herzliya’s 20th anniversary, we spent a day following Prof. Uriel Reichman, IDC’s founder and president, and Jonathan Davis, VP for External Relations, around its delightful campus.



Shidduch Challenges: Where Is Your Soul Mate?


Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Time and again I have seen singles reject a potential match out of hand because of a preconceived image of the man or woman they hoped to marry. I try to introduce someone at one of our Torah classes or parties to a young man or woman, explaining that I know the person to be kind, intelligent and committed – only to be met with a shrug of the shoulders or a wave of the hand and a dismissive “I don’t think so.”

“Why not?” I press.

The response invariably is “I just don’t feel the chemistry” – whatever that vague word is supposed to mean. So the years pass and they find themselves still searching for that elusive “chemistry.”

I am not suggesting that attraction is not important. Of course it is, but when a person is highly recommended and meets all the qualifications you are looking for on paper, give it a chance. It often happens that when people get to know someone they initially thought was definitely a “no,” it turns out to be exactly they were looking for.

On the other hand, I have met many who married because of “chemistry,” only to tragically find that the formula did not work.

Obviously there are other factors responsible for the shidduch crisis, but we will have to take those up at some future point.

I wish all our singles mazal and berachah. May Hashem guide each and every one of you to your true bashert. And I always stand ready to help. I invite you to visit our Hineni Shidduch Service. Come to our classes and join us at our celebrations and parties. Our next gala event will take place on Purim (Wednesday evening, March 7) at the 404 NYC Club, 404 10th Avenue (at 33rd Street). It will be preceded by a beautiful megillah reading by Dr. Michael Zelefsky

Reservations are a must – by phone (212-496-1660) or online hineni@hineni.org

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

One Response to “Shidduch Challenges: Where Is Your Soul Mate?”

  1. Avraham Chaim says:

    Let’s put a good portion of the blame on the rebbeim. In their desire to stop inappropriate behavior, they have made it more difficult for young singles to meet. When I was single, back in the 70′s, there were many opportunities for young people to socialize informally and make connections. There were mixers, Brooklyn College house parties and other ways to meet. Virtually everybody in my age bracket got married.

    Today, these are all gone. Even at weddings, there is separate seating. A couple at the “singles’s table” met at our wedding. In today’s world, they would have sat at single sex tables and probably never would have met.

    Until the rebbeim wake up and realize that they are part of the problem, there will never be a solution.

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Posted to Twitter in Ferguson, MO by St. Louis County Police: "Bricks thrown at police, 2 police cars burned, gun seized by police. Tonight was disappointing."  Their motto is, "To protect and serve."
Pro-ISIS Group Says ‘Use Ferguson Flames to Fuel Terror in America’
Latest Judaism Stories
Rabbi Avi Weiss

Yitzchak thought the Jewish people needed dual leadership: Eisav the physical; Yaakov the spiritual

Weiss-112114-Sufganiot

According to the Sefer Yetzirah, the nature of the month of Kislev is sleep.

Teller-Rabbi-Hanoch-NEW

Though braggarts come across as conceited, their boasting often reflects a low sense of self-regard

Nimchinsky-112114-Learning

Not every child can live up to our hopes or expectations, but every child is loved by Hashem.

Leaders must always pay attention to the importance of timing.

While our leaders have been shepherds, the vast majority of the Children of Israel were farmers.

Maimonides himself walked and prayed in the permissible areas when he visited Eretz Yisrael in 1165

If a man dies childless, the Torah commands the deceased’s brother to marry his brother’s widow in a ceremony known as yibum, or to perform a special form of divorce ceremony with her known as chalitzah.

Dovid turned to the other people sitting at his table. “I’m revoking my hefker of the Chumash,” he announced. “I want to keep it.”

Ever Vigilant
‘When Unworthy, One’s Number Of Years Is Reduced’
(Yevamos 50a)

Question: My young daughter was recently diagnosed with autism. She does not function well socially and is extremely introverted, but we have noticed that she reacts very well to small animals. We reported this to her therapist who suggested that we get a dog or cat as a pet. We know that most religious people frown upon having pets, but we hate to see our daughter suffer and want to do anything that would make her happy. Would it be okay to own a pet in the circumstances we described?

Her Loving Parents
(Via E-Mail)

Ramban interprets Korban as self-sacrifice, each Jew should attempt to recreate Akeidas Yitzchak.

Dr. Schwartz had no other alternatives up his sleeve. He suggested my mother go home and think about what she wanted to do.

Why does Lavan’s speaking before his father show that he was wicked? Disrespectful, yes. Rude, certainly. But a rasha?

We find that in certain circumstances before the Torah was actually given, people were permitted to make calculations as to what would better serve Hashem, even if it were against a mitzvah or aveirah.

More Articles from Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

When art and evil are intermingled, evil is elevated and made acceptable.

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

In BB, he said “You, my children are the angels of Shabbos and the licht are your beautiful eyes.”

Why does Hebrew refer to mothers-in-law as “sunshine” when society often calls them the opposite?

Boundaries must be set in every home. Parents and children are not pals. They are not equals.

The call of the shofar is eternal. It is not musical. Its magnetic allurement cannot be explained.

But then I began to think about it and I realized the corresponding Hebrew date to 9/11 was the twenty-third of Elul, and that also added up to eleven, since Elul is the sixth month of the Jewish calendar year and six plus two plus three equals eleven. I turned to the portion of the […]

One of the cornerstones of our Jewish life is chesed, kindness. Chesed can only be taught by example

“There is nothing new under the sun” is as valid today as it was yesterday.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/rebbetzins-viewpointrebbetzin-jungreis/shidduch-challenges-where-is-your-soul-mate/2012/02/15/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: