web analytics
May 24, 2013 /15 Sivan, 5773
At a Glance ▼
Judaism
Sponsored Post
The Tosfos Yomtov was convinced that the death of 300,000 –600,000 Jews during the Chmielnicki massacres of 1648-49 were because of improper Tefila. Communicated: Tefilla

Chillul Tefila Bifarhesia, as well as halachicly challenged verbiage and dress, are external manifestations of a critical lack of personal yiras shomayim which has lethal consequences.



Teaching Our Children Chesed And Rachamim

tell a friend
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

I concluded last week’s column with some questions that, if answered honestly, will give us insight into whether we as parents reflect chesed and rachamim to our children. As promised, here are some more:

Have you ever wondered about the “photographs” your children are taking of you? Our children are living, breathing “smart phones.” They snap our “pictures” constantly, even when we are not aware of it or least expect it. They store these “photos” in their hearts and minds. One day they will show them to their own children who in turn will show them to theirs. Would you want your grandchildren to see those “pictures”? Is that the way you would like them to remember you? If you respond with honesty, the rest will come easy and in no time at all the old, embarrassing “photographs” will be replaced with new, inspirational ones.

Do you teach your children to lie? “Jack, tell Ben I’m not home.” “Don’t tell anyone we’re going on vacation; just say we’re visiting Bubbe.” “Don’t tell anyone what we did over the summer; I can see the school raising the tuition and pressuring me for another donation.”

Do you encourage your children to be selfish and mean? “Don’t help him with his homework, he didn’t help you when you asked” or “Don’t invite him to your party, he didn’t invite you to his.” Or do you say the following: “Do what is right, don’t hold any grudges against anyone. Be a Torah Jew.”

Did you ever teach your children how to cry? I know they know how to cry for toys and candy and then, as they get older, cars and vacations and credit cards. But did you ever teach them how to cry for the pain of another? When you hear or read that a family or individual has, G-d forbid, been killed in a terrorist attack, do your children see you stop for a moment to express your pain? Do your children see you pray for those who are ill or hurting – and do you instruct them to do the same? Do you encourage them to share, give tzedakah, and reach out with a helping hand?

When guests come to your home, do your children welcome them? Do they greet them with respect or do they remain glued to their computers or whatever else they are doing? And if greeted by your visitors, do they mumble something under their breath or do they respond with a warm smile? Have your sons and daughters ever seen, even in miniature, the hospitality that marked the dwelling place of Abraham and Sarah?

Do your children see you pray with concentration and feeling? Or do they see you gossiping in shul or carrying on conversations about business, sports, etc.? Do your children see you studying Torah with sincerity or do you leave your studies behind and jump as soon as you hear your cell phone ring?

If you’ve failed this test, does that mean you are branded forever? Or is there hope you can change? Not only is there hope, but as a Jew, change is your reality. Chesed and rachamim are an intrinsic part of your nature. These values were engraved upon your neshamah at Sinai when you heard those electrifying words – “I am the Lord thy G-d.” At that moment, the image of G-d in which you were created was etched for all eternity on your heart and soul. You must only bring it forth and possess it.

It is your heritage and in an instant you can reinvent yourself and your home can be a place where the light of Torah shines and where peace and harmony prevail.

I have devoted several columns to the subject of chesed and rachamim because we are living in a time of peril. The ugly sounds of anti-Semitism are heard everywhere. To be sure, anti-Semitism is as old as our history. Our sages explain that Sinai is a play on the word sinah – hatred – teaching us that from the very moment Hashem gave us His Torah at Mt. Sinai, hatred descended on our people.

At times this hatred is overt and at other times it is covert, but it is always there. We are living in a time when this hatred has become both overt and worldwide. This is a period our sages have described as a “time of travail for Jacob.”But that same passage also concludes with the promise of redemption – “from that very suffering our salvation will emerge.”

I have explained before that the best place to find answers to our questions on this subject is to study the account the Torah provides of our Egyptian exile. It was in Egypt where we encountered the first Holocaust – we were placed in hellish labor camps, beaten and tortured. And then Pharaoh came up with his satanic“final solution,” decreeing that every male Hebrew infant be murdered.

Our Torah teaches that our people were saved from this butcher’s clutches because of the chesed and rachamim our ancestors displayed to each another. Every person felt the pain of his fellow, and despite the fact that all were equally tormented they sublimated their own suffering to give courage and hope to their brethren. Our ancestors lived under bestial conditions, and though they may have forgotten the majestic heritage of Yaakov, the laws of chesed and rachamim remained forever engraved on their hearts.

When Hashem sees that we are united in loving compassion, we merit His miraculous intervention. It was this weapon that broke the iron chains of Egyptian bondage. And so it was throughout our history. The forthcoming festival of Purim is yet another testimony to this timeless truth.

However, it is not only in the world arena that we need the healing balm of chesed. Internal strife, jealousy, hatred, greed, corruption, immorality – all of these have torn our families, our communities and our institutions asunder. It is for this reason that I have dedicated my recent columns to chesed and rachamim – pillars of our faith that can heal us of our pain and bring salvation from above.

tell a friend

About the Author:


You might also be interested in:


no comments

You must log in to post a comment.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Minister Yaakov Perry, (Yesh Atid, on the left), with Minister Limor Livnat, (Likud, second from left) visit Haredi soldiers serving in the Israeli Air Force, April 23, 2013.
Perry Committee Haredi Recruitment Plan: Sanctions on Draft Dodgers
Latest Judaism Stories
Leff-052413
Judaism → Parsha

Do you say Shema before you go to sleep? I’m sure you do.

But perhaps you, like many, feel too tired at night to say the entire tefillah of Kri’as Shema as it appears in the siddur. If you do say the entire tefillah, you will recognize a pasuk in this week’s Haftorah. And if you don’t say the whole Kri’as Shema al Hamitah, perhaps after this column, you’ll re-consider and find yourself connecting with the following very comforting pasuk.

Niehaus-052413
Judaism → Parsha

The sand is rapidly running through the hourglass, as the centrifuges in the secret Iranian nuclear plants spin furiously. It is quite clear that the Iranians are on the brink of attaining nuclear capability, and we are well aware of the danger that would face Klal Yisroel in that event, chas v’sholom. All the sanctions, threats, and computer worm attacks do not seem to be stopping them, and it is terrifying. And when we see how vulnerable we are to terrorist attacks anywhere in the world, we become even more terrified.

The-Shmuz
Judaism → Parsha

Miriam spoke disparagingly about Moshe Rabbeinu. Because of this, she contracted tzaras, and for seven days she was sent outside the camp of Israel.

Business-Halacha-logo
Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

Samuel Scherr was a very successful businessman. He also was generous and would share of his wealth with others. In this way, he became the uncle of favor to his nieces and nephews, whom he would frequently shower with gifts.

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

Detached Or Unrelated
‘He Made An Asheirah Tree Into a Ladder…’
(Eruvin 78b)

Judaism → Parsha

In this week’s parshah we read about the individuals who were tamei and thus could not bring the korban Pesach. They approached Moshe Rabbeinu and asked him whether there was anything they could do to bring the korban. Ultimately, Hashem told Moshe that they should bring a korban a month after Pesach, on the 14th of Iyar.

Judaism → Ask the Rabbi

Question: As Shavuot is fast approaching – a holiday on which we dwell on the story of Ruth and the origins of the royal house of David – I was wondering if you could help me resolve something. Some people say that Rabbi Yehudah HaNassi, the redactor of the six orders of the Mishnah and a scion of King David, purposely kept any mention of Chanukah and the Hasmonean kings out of the Mishnah because the Hasmoneans improperly crowned themselves and ignored the rule that all Jewish kings are supposed to come from the tribe of Yehudah. Is this true?

Menachem
(Via E-Mail)

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

One of the thirty-nine prohibited melachot on Shabbat is carrying an object from a private domain, reshut hayachid, to a public domain, reshut harabim, or carrying an object a distance of four amot, six to eight feet, in a reshut harabim. The Torah does permit, however, carrying within the reshut hayachid itself. The definition of a reshut hayachid and a reshut harabim is crucial, therefore, to the laws of carrying on Shabbat.

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

Question: The Midrash notes that the song the Jews sang after they crossed the Red Sea (“Az Yashir”) was unique; its likes had never been heard before in the world. Our Sages even refer to it as a shirah chadashah, a “new song.” What made “Az Yashir” so unique and in what sense was it a “new song”?

Judaism → Columns → Lessons In Emunah

The rav was not a wealthy man, but earned enough to live comfortably. He earned his money by serving as the rav of a religious community in Yerushalayim. He also received some royalties from sefarim he had written over the years. He was well known, and many people approached him for a berachah, advice and help. They were not turned away.

Judaism → Columns → Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

Tanach, the Hebrew Bible, is remarkable for the extreme realism with which it portrays human character. Its heroes are not superhuman. Its non-heroes are not archetypal villains. The best have failings; the worst often have saving virtues. I know of no other religious literature quite like it.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Last week I shared a letter from a newly observant Jewish woman. She and her husband reside in a small suburban community outside of Los Angeles. Last year they came to consult with me on a personal religious issue. While they were both ba’alei teshuvah, there was one fine difference between them. He had become a ba’al teshuvah earlier than she and was therefore somewhat more settled in an observant lifestyle.

Judaism → Torah

I watch my children use blocks to build a large structure, observing the trepidation with which they add each block. As the structure becomes larger there is a greater risk of it collapsing, thus bringing an end to an hour of playful labor. I anticipate what will happen when one child adds a block to the top floor, compromising the integrity of the building and resulting in the collapse of the entire structure. The argument that ensues is predictable, as each child blames the other for “ruining” the fun. As an adult, I wonder about the need to attribute blame. Will assigning blame be instrumental in rebuilding the structure?

Judaism → Parsha

In this week’s parshah the Torah discusses the halachos of when one steals from another and when confronted in beis din, the thief swears falsely with his denial that he stole. This parshah was already taught in parshas Vayikra; however, there are two halachos that the Torah adds in this parshah to this topic.

Judaism → Halacha & Hashkafa

In order to carry from one’s home into the street (even when the area is enclosed by a properly constructed eruv), the eruvin ceremony must be performed. This ceremony involves the placing of food in one designated home on behalf of all Sabbath observers in the enclosed area. In order for the eruvin ceremony to be valid, however, it must be performed on behalf of all owners of streets and homes in the enclosed area.

More Articles from Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Last week I shared a letter from a newly observant Jewish woman. She and her husband reside in a small suburban community outside of Los Angeles. Last year they came to consult with me on a personal religious issue. While they were both ba’alei teshuvah, there was one fine difference between them. He had become a ba’al teshuvah earlier than she and was therefore somewhat more settled in an observant lifestyle.

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Over the years I’ve received letters from all over the world in which people share feelings and thoughts they’ve experienced upon becoming became Torah observant. Usually these letters arrive not long after the writers had heard one of my speeches. No matter where a particular speech took place, and no matter whether I spoke the language or had to use a translator, the magic always works. In reality, it’s not magic at all but a little voice in the soul – the “Pintele Yid,” that spark of G-d’s Word engraved on all our neshamahs. Here is one recent letter.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Last week I wrote about the many disappointments in life. So often we dream of something, wish for something, pray for something – only to discover that when it happens, it is not quite the way we envisioned it. I illustrated this concept through a Hungarian story I recalled from my childhood about a little boy who more than anything else wanted a rocking horse, a coveted toy in Hungary.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

There is a Hungarian tale I’ve always found meaningful and yet sad. It is about a little boy who always wanted his own rocking horse. (In Hungry a rocking horse was a toy that belonged to only the privileged few.)

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

For several weeks now we’ve been discussing lack of gratitude – one of the most destructive forces in our society. When people think everything is coming to them, they become selfish, angry individuals. They do not know how to reciprocate. They do not know how to be grateful and, worse still, they become bitter and destructive elements in society. They make miserable sons, daughters and marriage partners. They have no regard for parents, grandparents, Torah teachers and the elderly.

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

As I’ve noted in recent weeks, appreciation is a lost concept in our society. Even when we are blessed by the many kindnesses of G-d, we tend to take them for granted and delude ourselves into thinking we are responsible for them all. In vain did our Torah warn us not to fall into the trap of “my strength and the power of my own hand accomplished this.”

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

My saintly father, HaRav HaGoan HaTzaddik Avraham HaLevi Jungreis, zt”l, taught me that before I address an audience I should ask myself, “What will the people take home from my message? What am I giving? Will it enhance their lives? Will it bring the individual closer to Hashem? Will it be a life-altering experience?”

Judaism → Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Nachman and Raizy Glauber, a”h, were killed in a horrific automobile accident. Their unborn baby survived for a short time but then joined his parents in olam haba. The tragedy shocked us all.

    Latest Poll

    Which is the most beautiful location in Jerusalem?









    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/rebbetzins-viewpointrebbetzin-jungreis/teaching-our-children-chesed-and-rachamim/2013/02/13/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online:

Related posts:

  1. Incorporating Chesed And Rachamim In Our Lives
  2. Teach Your Children About Eretz Yisrael
  3. Staten Island
Close