web analytics
April 21, 2014 / 21 Nisan, 5774
At a Glance
Judaism
Sponsored Post
Spa 1.2 Combining Modern Living in Traditional Jerusalem

A unique and prestigious residential project in now being built in Mekor Haim Street in Jerusalem.



Where Are The Moms And The Dads? (Continued From Last Week)


Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Share Button

Special Note: For the past few weeks, we have been discussing the sad state of little children who are abandoned to the care of maids. The letters keep pouring in, and many disturbing ramifications of this terrible neglect have come to light. Obviously, I cannot publish all of them, but I would like to express my appreciation to the many people who have taken the time to write. I would however, like to share one letter with you, for ithighlights the problem and also focuses on yet another aspect of this crisis.

‘Teenagers Are Also At Risk’

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

I would like to congratulate the woman who had the courage and the wisdom to write about this deplorable situation. I could never understand how frum people who are so scrupulous about the observance of mitzvos, can be so insensitive as to hand over their most precious, sacred charges, to non-Jewish, illiterate help.

To my mind, there is absolutely no excuse for such blatant neglect. We daven to Hashem that He grant us children who will follow the path of Torah and have good midos (character traits), but how on earth can we hope to achieve this if we entrust this responsibility to people who have no clue as to how to raise a Jewish child? And what I find even more maddening is that these parents are mostly well-to-do.

The mother who hands over her little ones is not constrained to go to work to help put bread on the table. Rather, she is on her way to indulging herself and “having a good time,” because that is exactly what takes place at a resort. As you so aptly said in your response, “Parents who can afford to go away should use that opportunity to bond with their families, to “have a good time enjoying their children” rather than dumping them on strangers.

To be sure, there are mothers who must work to support their families, and they must be on guard not to fall into this trap. I have heard many horror stories of baby-sitter abuse and neglect. I recognize that in today’s economy, many families require two incomes to survive, but that does not give them license to employ child care people who are foreign to our Torah way of life.

I realize that appropriate baby-sitters are not easily found, but every mother should ask herself “What’s the point of working, if in the process, I lose the goal of my life – my children?” No matter what, little children should not be entrusted to the care of those who have no clue as to our Torah way of life.

I am writing you at this time however, because I would like to focus on another aspect of this problem – teenagers. They too are being abandoned - not to the care of maids (they are too old for that), but they are left on their own. In many circles, it has become vogue for parents to get away for long weekends – to Florida, the Islands, or even Europe, leaving teenagers alone in the house, believing that they can fend for themselves, with the maid there to clean up after them.

As a mother of teenagers, I can tell you that when these kids get together without parental supervision, they get into trouble, and I mean trouble, ranging from using “chat rooms” on the Internet, to drinking. The parents, of course, are unaware. They feel secure that their children will be safe and sound while they are away. After all, they are young adults.

But they are not young adults – they are adolescents, and that’s a very dangerous period of life. The best of them are vulnerable to peer pressure and can easily become involved in activities that are antithetical to our Torah way of life. This includes movies, music, and hanging out with the wrong people in the wrong places. It takes just one wrong turn, and that young person can get lost for a long, long time.

Finally, there is another factor - many of these boys and girls have their own cars, giving them the freedom to cruise around and get into further trouble. I know that all this is taking place, but I also know that parents don’t want to recognize the problem and are even resentful of reminders. In a sense, these young adults present an even greater danger than toddlers, for once they go off the derech - depart from the Torah way, it is well nigh impossible to get them back. Needless to say, the way downhill is always fast; climbing back up is a struggle.

Again, your readers might think that I am exaggerating. I wish that I was. I wish that I could say that these things do not happen among yeshiva students. But not only is it happening, it is a common occurrence and not only among boys, but unfortunately among girls as well. There is
much talk about teens-at-risk, and many schools have been established for such children, but why can’t we apply some preventive medicine? Why do we have to wait until it’s too late to take action? It all depends on the home - on mother and father. There used to be a commercial, “It’s ten o’clock, do you know where your children are?”

Well, I would like to paraphrase that question. “Do you know where your kinderlach are?” Parents should always know where their sons and daughters are, and it’s not only regarding one’s own children that one has to be vigilant, but regarding their friends as well. If they receive an invitation for a Shabbos, don’t just say “yes” because you happen to know that the friend comes from a good family. Sure, the family might be great, but the question you must ask is, “Will the parents be home on that Shabbos?” Because if they’re not, you should not allow your son or daughter to go. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough. Children should not be at home without parental supervision.

I realize that many people may take exception to my letter and feel that I am exaggerating. I wish that I was. I can relate too many actual stories of young adults who lost their way. I realize that you have been discussing this subject in your column for several weeks and might wish to call a moratorium on it and move on to another subject. But I felt it important to make unsuspecting parents aware of the pitfalls they are courting when they are not taking care of their children “hands on”.

Too late do such parents wake up and find that the road back is bumpy and hard. Thank you Rebbetzin for your outstanding service on behalf of Am Yisrael. Your column always focuses on issues that are of vital concern to all of us. May HaShem give you continued hatzlacha in your avodas HaKodesh.

Share Button

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

No Responses to “Where Are The Moms And The Dads? (Continued From Last Week)”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
BDS targets Zabar's; Carole Zabar promotes BDS proponents.
All in the Family: BDS Protests Zabars; Carole Zabar Promotes BDS
Latest Judaism Stories
Reiss-041814-King

Amazingly, each and every blade was green and moist as if it was just freshly cut.

PTI-041814

All the commentaries ask why Hashem focuses on the Exodus as opposed to saying, “I am Hashem who created the entire world.”

Leff-041814

Someone who focuses only on the bones of the Torah makes his bones dry and passionless.

The following is President Obama’s statement on Passover (April 14, 2014). As he has in the past, the President held an official Passover Seder at the White House. Michelle and I send our warmest greetings to all those celebrating Passover in the United States, in Israel, and around the world. On Tuesday, just as we […]

The tendency to rely on human beings rather than G-d has been our curse throughout the centuries.

“Who is wise? One who learns from each person” (Pirkei Avot 4:1)

In Judaism, to be without questions is a sign not of faith, but of lack of depth.

“I’ll try to help as we can,” said Mr. Goodman, “but we already made a special appeal this year. Let me see what other funds we have. I’ll be in touch with you in a day or two.”

Rashi is bothered by the expression Hashem used: “the Jews need only travel.”

Reckoning Time
‘Three Festivals, Even Out Of Order’
(Beizah 19b)

Two husbands were there to instruct us in Texas hold ‘em – and we needed them.

Question: Why do we start counting sefirat ha’omer in chutz la’aretz on the second night of Pesach when the omer in the times of the Beit Hamikdash was cut on Chol HaMoed?

M. Goldman
(Via E-Mail)

A few background principles regarding the prohibitions of chametz mixtures on Pesach may provide some shopping guidance.

According to the Rambam, the k’nas applies to any chametz on Pesach with which one could, in theory, transgress the aveirah – even if no transgression actually occurred.

She was followed by the shadows of the Six Million, by the ever so subtle awareness of their vanished presence.

More Articles from Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

The tendency to rely on human beings rather than G-d has been our curse throughout the centuries.

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

We have windows of history, of Yom Tovim, but the dust continues to obscure our vision.

On Shabbos Zachor the Torah commands us to “Remember what Amalek did to you.”

We should invite divorced people into our homes for Shabbas and Yom tov.

I attended the recent Shabboton for frum divorced people and listened to your talk. You gave me hope to go on. I was very despondent when I came and went home considerably more upbeat. It was all due to your focus on “being a blessing.”

One can sigh with relief when the divorce is finalized but the heart is full and it aches with pain. Yes, there were conflicts. Yes, there was a cold war that made for a frigid atmosphere in the home. But loneliness is a very difficult thing to bear.

My ex despises me and is bent on destroying me. He has done everything to torture me.

The Torah tells us that ancient Egypt had 49 levels of contaminating impurities and Hashem wanted us out before the fiftieth would become viral.

    Latest Poll

    Now that Kerry's "Peace Talks" are apparently over, are you...?







    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/rebbetzins-viewpointrebbetzin-jungreis/where-are-the-moms-and-the-dads-continued-from-last-week-2/2003/07/02/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: