web analytics
July 29, 2015 / 13 Av, 5775
At a Glance
Judaism
Sponsored Post


Home » Judaism

The Other Side Of The Mechitzah

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis,

I’ve been following your articles on divorce and you’ve been right on target. However, something was missing from your presentation – the plight of divorced men.

In a divorce situation most people sympathize with the wife. They assume she was mistreated. When it comes to custody, most often it is the wife who is given that privilege. I realize of course that mothers are usually the homemakers, though I have seen many instances where mothers abandoned their responsibilities and did not give proper care to their children.

I attended the recent Shabboton for frum divorced people and listened to your talk. You gave me hope to go on. I was very despondent when I came and went home considerably more upbeat. It was all due to your focus on “being a blessing.”

I was married at 23, an age considered young for marriage in the secular world but proper in the frum community. I was studying at a yeshiva in Israel. My parents received many recommendations for a shidduch for me. After some investigation they settled on “Miss X.” She was lovely to look at. She came from a good family and had a good educational background. On paper she met all my expectations. She was my first date and the only one. From the moment we met I felt this was it.

My entire family was involved in my shidduch search. A cousin who went to school with the girl was drilled by my parents. She confirmed that the girl was beautiful but added that sometimes she was moody. (Who isn’t, my parents thought.) They also asked friends and family about her home life. Were there conflicts between the parents? Was there shalom bayis? Were they hospitable?

My parents didn’t leave a stone unturned. They spoke with the rabbi of the synagogue where the parents of the girl davened. They spoke with the rabbi and rebbetzin in charge of the seminary where she studied in Israel. Everyone agreed she was a very nice girl. Our families met on neutral ground at a restaurant in New York. Everything seemed to go well.

We dated for two months. We had an open house for family and friends and the engagement was sealed. Three months later we were married. A few days after the marriage I started noticing strange things, especially wild mood swings, but I dismissed them. Then my wife became pregnant. It was a very exciting time. Everyone was so happy.

For my parents this would be the first grandchild and for my in-laws the second. My wife became increasingly temperamental. I ignored it and attributed it to her pregnancy. After she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, she fell into a terrible depression. She went for help, and many people told me that it’s not unusual for women to have post partum depression. So I had patience.

Soon, however, I discovered that the depression had nothing to do with having had a baby but rather something much more serious. My wife had been on medication for many years but was able to keep it from me during our dating period and the early part of our marriage. But I did find out about it and I realized her moods were caused by her neglecting to take her medication.

Things gradually grew worse. Our shalom bayis crashed. It was painful for me. Just the same, I was ready to accept it. I wanted to protect our baby and I had compassion on my wife and didn’t want to hurt her. I tried with every ounce of my being to avoid even thinking about a divorce but it became increasingly difficult to do so. For seven long years I lived with the problem, during which time we had another child. This time we had a little girl. And now there were two children I couldn’t bear to leave.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “The Other Side Of The Mechitzah

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Jews pray near Israeli security forces at Beit El.
Traumatized Jews Battle Israeli Forces, Old Nightmares in Samaria
Latest Judaism Stories
Torat-Hakehillah-logo-NEW

Before going in, I had told R’ Nachum all of the things we were doing in Philly, and how it was very important to receive a good bracha on behalf of our newest venture, a Russian Kollel.

Q-A-Klass-logo

Question: When a stranger approaches a congregant in shul asking for tzedakah, should the congregant verify that the person’s need is genuine? Furthermore, what constitutes tzedakah? Is a donation to a synagogue, yeshiva, or hospital considered tzedakah?

Zvi Kirschner
(Via E-Mail)

Destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem

(JNi.media) Tisha B’Av (Heb: 9th of the month of Av) is a fast day according to rabbinic law and tradition, commemorating the destruction of the First Temple in 586 BCE by the army of Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, and the destruction of the Second Temple in the year 70 CE by the Roman army led […]

Rabbi Avi Weiss

Devarim often parallels the stories in Bereishit but in reverse & can be considered as a corrective

‘Older’ By A Month
‘…Until The Beginning Of Adar’
(Nedarim 63a)

We realize how much we miss something only after it’s gone.

Because the words of Torah gladden the heart, studying Torah is forbidden when Tisha B’Av is on a weekday, except for passages in Scripture that deal with the destruction of the Temple and other calamities.

On Super Bowl Sunday itself, life seems to stop. Over one hundred million people watch the game. About half of the households in the country show it in their living rooms and dens.

Moses begins Sefer Devarim reviewing much of the 40 years in the desert & why he can’t enter Israel

While they are definitely special occurrences, why are they cause for a new holiday?

Torah wasn’t given to be kept in Sinai; Brooklyn or Beverly Hills-It was meant to be kept in Israel!

“When a king dies his power ends; when a prophet dies his influence begins” & their words echo today

In addition to the restrictions of Tisha B’Av, there are several restrictions that one may not perform during the week that Tisha B’Av falls in.

The word “shavat” in the first kina of Tisha B’Av morning indicates a sudden suspension and cessation of time that accompanied the Temple’s destruction.

The two decided to approach Rabbi Dayan. “What is the halachic status of conquered territory?” asked Shalom.

More Articles from Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Money comes and goes but its love, commitment, warmth, and kindness that make a family a family.

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

To my dismay, I’ve seen that shidduch candidates with money become ALL desirable traits for marriage

Zaidie’s legacy of smiles and loving words was all but buried with him, now the family fights over $

Jewish survival in a dysfunctional world requires women assuming the role Hashem gave them at Sinai

In every generation is the challenge to purge the culture of our exile from our minds and our hearts

His mother called “Yoni, Yoni!” Her eyes, a moment earlier dark with pain, shone with joy and hope

Pesach bonds families and generations: “So that you may relate it to your son and your son’s son.

Amalek’s hate never dies; its descendants are eternal & omnipresent; Hashem is our only protection

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/the-other-side-of-the-mechitzah/2014/03/20/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: