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October 1, 2014 / 7 Tishri, 5775
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Absolute Proof Arab Prisoners Trust their Wives Completely

Welcome to the first official terrorist sperm bank in the world.
Dr Salem Abu Khaizaran at a press conference Thursday with the happy recipients.

Dr Salem Abu Khaizaran at a press conference Thursday with the happy recipients.
Photo Credit: Ma'an

Four Palestinian women who had the sperm of their husbands smuggled out of Israeli jails are pregnant, the Palestinian Ma’an news agency reported.

At a news conference at the Razan Medical Center in Shchem, Samaria, Dr Salem Abu Khaizaran said the four successful pregnancies were a huge achievement, and that many insemination attempts had failed.

“We don’t intervene and ask how they smuggled sperm from prison and get it to Shchem. There are many failed attempts because the sperm die and so prisoners have to keep trying until it works,” Abu Khaizaran said.

Prison is hell.

“We believe that this is a human right, especially as these prisoners are spending long sentences in prisons and a woman’s biological clock is short so maybe when her husband comes out she won’t be able to have a child.”

Now, I’m no expert on human behavior, but if I’m a terrorist prisoner and my wife tells me she just conceived from my sperm donation—I’m asking for a paternity test. I love my wife and all, but some stories your wives (or husbands) tell should be double checked.

Meanwhile, the good doctor from Shchem said his clinic provided free treatment to the wives of political prisoners as a social and humanitarian contribution to Palestinians who sacrifice their lives for their homeland. The center is storing dozens of samples of frozen sperm from prisoners of all factions, he added.

Make that the first official terrorist sperm bank in the world.

The prisoners whose wives are pregnant were identified as Ali Nazzal, from Qalqiliya, who is sentenced to 25 years, Osama al-Silawi from Jenin, serving four life sentences plus 55 years (that’s a lot of time for trying), Rafat al-Qarawi of Ramallah, sentenced to 15 years, and an unidentified, fourth prisoner from Jericho.

The center insists on the presence of a close relative of each spouse at the procedure.

Nazzal’s wife told Ma’an she was initially reluctant to go through with the operation.

“At the beginning I refused this principle, especially as I am completely banned from visiting my husband, but now I am convinced, especially as it doesn’t contradict religion and the sperm is my husband’s,” she said.

Yeah, yeah, I’d still expect a blood test.

Al-Qarawi’s mother told reporters her daughter-in-law’s pregnancy followed several failed attempts.

“We tried many times before it succeeded. The assassin of Rabin isn’t better than Palestinian prisoners,” she said, pointing out that conjugal visits were a natural right of prisoners.

Yigal Amir, who assassinated Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin in 1995, was allowed conjugal prison visits in 2006, which resulted in the birth of his son in 2007.

Not the trusting type.

About the Author: Yori Yanover has been a working journalist since age 17, before he enlisted and worked for Ba'Machane Nachal. Since then he has worked for Israel Shelanu, the US supplement of Yedioth, JCN18.com, USAJewish.com, Lubavitch News Service, Arutz 7 (as DJ on the high seas), and the Grand Street News. He has published Dancing and Crying, a colorful and intimate portrait of the last two years in the life of the late Lubavitch Rebbe, (in Hebrew), and two fun books in English: The Cabalist's Daughter: A Novel of Practical Messianic Redemption, and How Would God REALLY Vote.


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14 Responses to “Absolute Proof Arab Prisoners Trust their Wives Completely”

  1. Many immigrants left their homes in the 20th century only to return several years later to find that their wives had given birth several years after they were gone. Most of them got a quick divorce and carried on with life. Only the Arabs in Israeli prisons are dumb enough to believe that nonsense or do they think they have super sperm?

  2. Adam Levine says:

    To me, this sounds like a variant workaround for Sharia law. I don't think the husbands are stupid, just practical.

    Under islamic Sharia law (and it's precursor), the penalty for adultery is pretty severe. Really, really severe.

    That's the origin of Muhammad's 7-year rule. Basically, if the wife has seen her husband in the past 7 years, it is assumed that no adultery has taken place, and that can't be challenged. Now, even in Muhammad's time, they were pretty aware that human gestation does not last 7 years. However, it spared the woman some pretty severe punishment (like death). The 7-year rule is in place to protect the woman.

    To me, this sounds like a variant. Husband in prison, wife screwing around, and bang! The kid is the husband's, no matter what logic dictates. Wife not punished.

  3. Adam Levine says:

    To me, this sounds like a variant workaround for Sharia law. I don't think the husbands are stupid, just practical.

    Under islamic Sharia law (and it's precursor), the penalty for adultery is pretty severe. Really, really severe.

    That's the origin of Muhammad's 7-year rule. Basically, if the wife has seen her husband in the past 7 years, it is assumed that no adultery has taken place, and that can't be challenged. Now, even in Muhammad's time, they were pretty aware that human gestation does not last 7 years. However, it spared the woman some pretty severe punishment (like death). The 7-year rule is in place to protect the woman.

    To me, this sounds like a variant. Husband in prison, wife screwing around, and bang! The kid is the husband's, no matter what logic dictates. Wife not punished.

  4. Adam Levine says:

    To me, this sounds like a variant workaround for Sharia law. I don't think the husbands are stupid, just practical.

    Under islamic Sharia law (and it's precursor), the penalty for adultery is pretty severe. Really, really severe.

    That's the origin of Muhammad's 7-year rule. Basically, if the wife has seen her husband in the past 7 years, it is assumed that no adultery has taken place, and that can't be challenged. Now, even in Muhammad's time, they were pretty aware that human gestation does not last 7 years. However, it spared the woman some pretty severe punishment (like death). The 7-year rule is in place to protect the woman.

    To me, this sounds like a variant. Husband in prison, wife screwing around, and bang! The kid is the husband's, no matter what logic dictates. Wife not punished.

  5. Adam Levine says:

    To me, this sounds like a variant workaround for Sharia law. I don't think the husbands are stupid, just practical.

    Under islamic Sharia law (and it's precursor), the penalty for adultery is pretty severe. Really, really severe.

    That's the origin of Muhammad's 7-year rule. Basically, if the wife has seen her husband in the past 7 years, it is assumed that no adultery has taken place, and that can't be challenged. Now, even in Muhammad's time, they were pretty aware that human gestation does not last 7 years. However, it spared the woman some pretty severe punishment (like death). The 7-year rule is in place to protect the woman.

    To me, this sounds like a variant. Husband in prison, wife screwing around, and bang! The kid is the husband's, no matter what logic dictates. Wife not punished.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Those Muslimas are screwing Jewish men. Once you go Jew you don't want sex with a barbarian.

  7. Dita Gould says:

    I hope it's not Israeli doctors inserting the sperms.

  8. Dita Gould says:

    I hope it's not Israeli doctors inserting the sperms.

  9. just hope they insert the right sperm into the right woman.

  10. actually most of our vaccines were invented by the Jewish people or doctors, like meningitus, so I would prefer and Jewish doctor over any arab doctor anytime.

  11. Liad Bar-el says:

    In parasha VaYishlach (Gen 36:40-43) we find the genealogy of Esav’s family of which the present day Muslim/Arab population are derived from. In this parasha, it shows the depravity of Esav’s family which was rife with incest. Since the children of a bastard (mamzer) are also illegitimate, in the end all of Esau’s descendants are actually illegitimate. The family history of Mohammed in particular shows that he was also illegitimate; so, we have a large group of people in our world today worshiping and following an illegitimate person from an illegitimate family. So, sperm banks are just a cover to the public so that they can carry on the tradition of Arab/Muslim/Islams’ illegitimacy.

  12. Liad Bar-el says:

    In parasha VaYishlach (Gen 36:40-43) we find the genealogy of Esav’s family of which the present day Muslim/Arab population are derived from. In this parasha, it shows the depravity of Esav’s family which was rife with incest. Since the children of a bastard (mamzer) are also illegitimate, in the end all of Esau’s descendants are actually illegitimate. The family history of Mohammed in particular shows that he was also illegitimate; so, we have a large group of people in our world today worshiping and following an illegitimate person from an illegitimate family. So, sperm banks are just a cover to the public so that they can carry on the tradition of Arab/Muslim/Islams’ illegitimacy.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I thought the arabs were descended from Ishmael.

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