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September 28, 2016 / 25 Elul, 5776
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For Yaalon, Kerry, Love Means Totally Saying You’re Sorry

To the Americans, he said, "I am the nut they can't crack."


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Defense Minister Moshe "Bogie" Yaalon (L), seen here during a drill in the Binyamin Regional Council last December 25, is the one true enemy of the proposed American security plan for Israel. Because he sees it's worthless and says so. And so, Yaalon has been in the State dept. cross-hairs since the start of the talks.

Defense Minister Moshe "Bogie" Yaalon (L), seen here during a drill in the Binyamin Regional Council last December 25, is the one true enemy of the proposed American security plan for Israel. Because he sees it's worthless and says so. And so, Yaalon has been in the State dept. cross-hairs since the start of the talks.
Photo Credit: Ariel Hermoni/Ministry of Defence/FLASH90



You know, it just occurred to me that Israel’s relationship with its patron America is very unhealthy, and that both sides should seek psychological help. Two sessions a week, no judgmental talk, in six months the whole Middle East would look better.

Instead of holding up signs against this or that outside the White House, let’s all just pull up a huge banner: “Go see a shrink!”

Psaki added that John R. Allen, the former top American commander in Afghanistan, has developed proposals for securing Judea and Samaria (she used the WB words, obviously) once peace treaty between Israel and the Palestinians is negotiated.

Is that like inviting the Captain of the Titanic to help you ride your boat? What’s the matter, General Custer too busy?

“To question his motives and distort his proposals is not something we would expect from the defense minister of a close ally,” she said.

That already sounds like a note to Moshe’s parents. “Dear Mr. and Mrs. Yaalon, your son Moshe is a very gifted boy, which is why it pains me so much to suspend him from school for three days.”

See a shrink!

For his part, Minister Bogie apologized, in Hebrew and in English (dealing with Americans you expect them not to be versed with any language other than English, if that).

After a closed meeting with Bibi—in which it’s not known if any scolding went on, or just an embarrassed few minutes of silence, or maybe they watched a ball game—Bogie said: “I did not mean to hurt [Kerry’s] feelings, and I apologize if he was offended by the Comments attributed to me.”

He also said (I’m paraphrasing) that Israel really appreciates Kerry’s indefatigable efforts to advance the peace negotiations.

Wait a minute, isn’t indefatigable just another way of saying obsessive and riddled with a messianic complex and a greedy desire for the Nobel Peace Prize?

Yori Yanover

About the Author: Yori Yanover has been a working journalist since age 17, before he enlisted and worked for Ba'Machane Nachal. Since then he has worked for Israel Shelanu, the US supplement of Yedioth, JCN18.com, USAJewish.com, Lubavitch News Service, Arutz 7 (as DJ on the high seas), and the Grand Street News. He has published Dancing and Crying, a colorful and intimate portrait of the last two years in the life of the late Lubavitch Rebbe, (in Hebrew), and two fun books in English: The Cabalist's Daughter: A Novel of Practical Messianic Redemption, and How Would God REALLY Vote.


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