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January 30, 2015 / 10 Shevat, 5775
 
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Kerry, Livni and Abbas Take a Seventh-Inning Stretch

A sports broadcaster would have his hands full trying to keep up with Wednesday’s fast-paced frantic Peace Talks Game.
Kerry pitches at Fenway park, but in his Peace Talks, every ball he throws lands out of bounds.

Kerry pitches at Fenway park, but in his Peace Talks, every ball he throws lands out of bounds.

Here is an on-the-spot play-by-play report on Wednesday’s action in the Peace Talks Charades.

Tzipi Livin screws up her face and throws a spit ball at the Palestinian Authority, which swings and misses.

John Kerry calls Abbas and reaches first base.

Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman steps up to the mound and pitches a curve ball by announcing he will vote against any proposal to release Arab murderers who carry Israeli citizenship.

Martin Indyk takes a walk to Jerusalem and scores a triple play with Livni and Saeb Erekat.

Commentator Samantha Power puts in her two cents, which is about all it is worth, and opines that unilateral actions by the Palestinian Authority “will be a profound threat to Israel and devastating to the peace process.”

Duh.

Housing Minister Uri Ariel, playing right field, urges Netanyahu to find another game and cancel the Oslo Accords, forgetting that they sank long ago in Foggy Bottom except when the State Dept. fishes them out for stale news.

Tourism Minister Uzi Landau, the government’s biggest windbag, carries his bat, points to the bleachers, and says that Israel can punish the Palestinian Authority by annexing Judea and Samaria and slapping sanctions on Ramallah.

His home swing misses by a mile, and he takes a shower.

The Arab League, playing shortstop, forces everyone to take a rain check for a week, when it will meet to grunt and groan and come up with a face-saving pitch for Abbas.

About the Author: Tzvi Ben Gedalyahu is a graduate in journalism and economics from The George Washington University. He has worked as a cub reporter in rural Virginia and as senior copy editor for major Canadian metropolitan dailies. Tzvi wrote for Arutz Sheva for several years before joining the Jewish Press.


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2 Responses to “Kerry, Livni and Abbas Take a Seventh-Inning Stretch”

  1. Yori Mendel says:

    Very scary! The baseball in his hands! Next the World! Get out of the Stadium quick.

  2. Yori Mendel says:

    Very scary! The baseball in his hands! Next the World! Get out of the Stadium quick.

Comments are closed.

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