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September 30, 2016 / 27 Elul, 5776
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Obama Hiring ‘Alphas’


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Obama Hiring 'Alphas'

Photo Credit: Official White House Photo, kind of



President Barack Obama has begun a quiet campaign to boost the number of people with special powers, popularly known as “Alphas” for senior White House positions.

This official picture, taken during the president’s meeting with senior advisors in the Oval Office, Jan. 27, 2014, shows one of the new recruits obtaining an apple from a bowl using his kinetic abilities.

You’ll note the slight halo around the apple that’s being drawn with special powers, as the fruit is dumping excess kinetic energy.

Advisors with special abilities, such as X-ray vision and telepathy, have proven highly useful in day-to-day office operations such as lifting hard to reach files, checking out the contents of office refrigerators and checking stuff on Google when the Internet is down.

Yori Yanover

About the Author: Yori Yanover has been a working journalist since age 17, before he enlisted and worked for Ba'Machane Nachal. Since then he has worked for Israel Shelanu, the US supplement of Yedioth, JCN18.com, USAJewish.com, Lubavitch News Service, Arutz 7 (as DJ on the high seas), and the Grand Street News. He has published Dancing and Crying, a colorful and intimate portrait of the last two years in the life of the late Lubavitch Rebbe, (in Hebrew), and two fun books in English: The Cabalist's Daughter: A Novel of Practical Messianic Redemption, and How Would God REALLY Vote.


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