web analytics
October 31, 2014 / 7 Heshvan, 5775
At a Glance
News & Views
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim with Soldiers 5774 Roundup: Year of Relief and Service for Israel’s Needy

Meir Panim implements programs that serve Israel’s neediest populations with respect and dignity. Meir Panim also coordinated care packages for families in the South during the Gaza War.



Obama Hiring ‘Alphas’

Obama Hiring 'Alphas'

Photo Credit: Official White House Photo, kind of

President Barack Obama has begun a quiet campaign to boost the number of people with special powers, popularly known as “Alphas” for senior White House positions.

This official picture, taken during the president’s meeting with senior advisors in the Oval Office, Jan. 27, 2014, shows one of the new recruits obtaining an apple from a bowl using his kinetic abilities.

You’ll note the slight halo around the apple that’s being drawn with special powers, as the fruit is dumping excess kinetic energy.

Advisors with special abilities, such as X-ray vision and telepathy, have proven highly useful in day-to-day office operations such as lifting hard to reach files, checking out the contents of office refrigerators and checking stuff on Google when the Internet is down.

About the Author: Yori Yanover has been a working journalist since age 17, before he enlisted and worked for Ba'Machane Nachal. Since then he has worked for Israel Shelanu, the US supplement of Yedioth, JCN18.com, USAJewish.com, Lubavitch News Service, Arutz 7 (as DJ on the high seas), and the Grand Street News. He has published Dancing and Crying, a colorful and intimate portrait of the last two years in the life of the late Lubavitch Rebbe, (in Hebrew), and two fun books in English: The Cabalist's Daughter: A Novel of Practical Messianic Redemption, and How Would God REALLY Vote.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

2 Responses to “Obama Hiring ‘Alphas’”

  1. Moshe Zucker says:

    I liked that t v show

  2. I possess a few special powers of my own, but I'm more of an Epsilon than an Alpha. When I was younger, I ordered a pair of X-ray specs from the back of a comic book, and after spending every dime I had and waiting six weeks for delivery, I learned that I possessed the powers of gullibility and perversion. Such powers are not likely to save the planet though.

    In the TV show, the alphas used their powers for a greater good. In reality, alphas serve their own desires. An inflated ego is usually their super power.

    There have been times I picked up or projected thoughts to others, but it was so rare that I wouldn't rely on it. Telepathy may not be something we can cultivate, but empathy is a super-power that is really overlooked in the world today. Empaths can't be alphas though…there are too many little i's running through their thoughts for the Big I to take over. Still, the power of empaths could be used to do amazing things, like helping others and protecting the weak.

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Jo-map
So You Thought The Arab Israeli Conflict Was About Land? Here Is Why You Are DEAD Wrong!
Latest News Stories
Rabbi Yehuda Glick.

He is not in a coma and may undergo another operation today.

Naftali Bennett (c) at his primaries victory party, November 7, 2012.

Israel’s anti-Netanyahu media might regret their wishes if early elections are held.

Hezbollah  terror group shows off its arsenal.

Authorities in Peru this week arrested a suspected Hezbollah terrorist who planned to murder Jews. Lebanese citizen Mohammed Hamden was in possession of explosives and other materials when he was arrested, according to the Peruvian Interior Ministry. Police found traces of TNT, detonators and other explosive devices in his apartment. Reports indicate that the suspect […]

Israel decides not to go ahead with huge military purchase from U.S., likely to provoke rumors of continuing feud.

Highlight: Exclusive Interview with Rabbi Yehuda Glick at the Foot of the Temple Mount.

Doctors reported as of 8 p.m. (2 p.m. EDT) Thursday night that there is a “very small” improvement in the condition of Yehuda Glick, gunned down by an Arab terrorists Wednesday night, but that he still is in critical condition and his life remains in danger.

Foreign Minister Lieberman may be playing “chicken.” What happens if France follows Sweden?

Conference of Jewish groups chided the Obama administration for the nasty comments made about Bibi.

Feiglin was standing next to Glick during the assassination attempt

A small caliber weapon was used to shoot at IDF troops patrolling along the border near Quneitra.

Abbas didn’t even condemn the shooting of Temple Mount activist Yehuda Glick.

Arab rioters threw firecrackers at Border Police in the Old City in Jerusalem Thursday and lightly wounded at least one tourist. Police arrested one Arab youth. Earlier in the day, Arabs hurled rocks at a bus in eastern Jerusalem. No property damage or injuries were reported, and one Arab was arrested. In the Jabel Mukaber […]

The Islamic Jihad was thrilled with the shooting of Temple Mount activist Yehuda Glick and said “he got what he deserved, the Mann reported. Daoud Shihab, Islamic Jihad spokesperson, told Ma’an that attempted murder of Glick, who is in critical condition as of this moment, was a “natural response” to defend Jerusalem” and the Al-Aqsa […]

A cartoonist has turned the tables on an attack cartoon against the PM published by the leftist daily Ha’aretz.

More Articles from Yori Yanover
rain ATM

A Jerusalem woman is trying to hold on to her umbrella while withdrawing some cash at a Meah Shearim ATM, Sunday, March 9, 2014. The rain appeared out of the blue (which is how rain should), after a warm week that started to feel like summer. Well, it don’t feel like summer no more. Last […]

Rabbi Meir Mazuz (seen visiting a synagogue in Crown Heights, Brooklyn) declared in a public Internet psak that it is legal for a Jew to go up to temple Mount.

Needless to say, Shas, the Haredi Sefardi party, is not happy.

“The only difference between this world and the time of Meshiach is our bondage to the gentile kingdoms.”

Here’s the Israeli Navy boat INS Hanit arriving in Eilat on Saturday, March 8, 2014, after capturing the Klos C, which was carrying dozens of advanced Iranian-supplied weapons made in Syria and intended for Palestinian guerrillas in the Gaza Strip. Here’s Israeli Navy Commander Vice Admiral Ram Rotberg speaking with the INS Hanit soldiers in […]

Pat Condell has a new video out, so, sit back, have fun. By the way, Message to Offended Muslims should not be confused with Message to Off Handed Muslims. Also, I’d love to hear what he has to say about Haredim.

The description that came with this picture says: Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu speaks with American actor Bette Midler during an event at the house of Hollywood producer Arnon Milchan in Hollywood on March 6, 2014. But Bette Midler is not really an actor, she’s a singer who made movies for the LGBT community and […]

We will shut them up in the campuses, we will shut them up in the high schools, we will shut them up at the 92nd St. Y.

An Israeli female soldier (because they’re better at removing babies from their homes) evacuates a baby from a settlement in Judea and Samaria some time in the recent past. I’m thinking, if the baby was angry enough, couldn’t he evacuate in return, right there in her arms? Imagine the same picture, except with a settler […]

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/news/photos/obama-hiring-alphas/2014/01/28/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: