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Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 8/15/08

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Dear Rachel,

I love your column! To the woman suffering from her husband’s sex addiction (To leave or not to leave… Chronicles 6-27), I really encourage her to join SAA meetings, and her husband should attend these meetings in addition to their therapy.

These meetings consist of a highly successful 12-step program that has seen amazing results! It’s strictly anonymous so you don’t have to worry. ((Time and locations are available for download online.)

She shouldn’t think, “I don’t have to go to meetings…it’s his problem; if he gets helped then I’ll be fine.) She needs recovery. From her letter I detect that she sees herself as a victim. She can make the decision to choose a healthier approach.

The results of the program are way beyond one’s greatest expectations, but recovery must be taken seriously. You can have a beautiful future!!

For the record, these meetings are also available to people suffering from similar addictions, such as GA (Gamblers Anonymous), AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), NA (Narcotics Anonymous), etc.

Been there…

Dear Been There,

The program you speak of can be wonderfully healing but, as in all things, one must be a willing participant − and sincere in his/her desire to succeed.

Your letter is vague as to your own role, but whether it has been the one of addict or suffering spouse, it is obvious that with your positive attitude and unflinching determination you have triumphed and overcome.

Congratulations! May you reap success in all your future endeavors and aspirations!

Dear Rachel,

As a specialist in the field of therapy, I feel that what you are doing is really wonderful and is something that has been necessary for a long time in the frum community.

You bring to it a special charm, decency, thoughtfulness and insight, and all overlain with a deeply traditional warmth and knowledge.

Today in my office a young (late 30s) woman whom I had seen a while ago when she was vacillating whether to break up her marriage, came back for a visit. She told me she has made up her mind and has begun divorce proceedings. She came to thank me for being supportive and for helping her clarify her thoughts when she had last come to see me.

But − here is the punch line − she told me that in her relatively small circle of frum families in her age bracket she was one of several currently in the process of breaking up!

That is just one of the reasons why your column is so necessary. There are so

many people − especially young married people − in difficulty and groping for understanding and help.

Keep up the good work.

An anonymous admirer

Dear Anonymous,

Your words are most heartening and your praise most flattering, but you attribute the credit to the wrong source. When we embark on a course that embodies gemilus chassadim (acts of kindness) – whether they are in the form of support, empathy or guidance – we are assured of siyata D’Shmaya (Divine guidance). Daily we pray “Chaneinu me’Itcha chachmah binah v’daas” and rely on Him to infuse us with His wisdom, understanding and insight.

May our Creator continue to shower His blessings upon us all and send His healing to the physically needy, spiritually devoid and intellectually lacking.

Thank you for doing your vital role in bringing succor and relief to the hurting and lonely souls among us.

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About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


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