web analytics
December 20, 2014 / 28 Kislev, 5775
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
8000 meals Celebrate Eight Days of Chanukah – With 8,000 Free Meals Daily to Israel’s Poor

Join Meir Panim’s campaign to “light up” Chanukah for families in need.



Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 6/02/06

By:

Chronicles-logo

We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories by e-mail to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 338 Third Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11215.

To all women, men or children who feel that they are at the end of their ropes, please consider joining a support group, or forming one.

Anyone wishing to make a contribution to help agunot, please send your tax deductible contribution to The Jewish Press Foundation.

Checks must be clearly specified to help agunot. Please make sure to include that information if that is the purpose of your contribution, because this is just one of the many worthwhile causes helped by this foundation.

**********

Dear Rachel,

Regarding the letter from “No Son of Mine” (Chronicles April 14) that raised the issue of bochurim who devote their lives to learning only Torah – resulting in their inability to support themselves and their families, I sympathize with those parents who would prefer that their children do otherwise. In fact, I would suggest that such parents tell their children not to get married until they have worked out some plan or method to support a family – and remind them that at their wedding they will be making such commitment via the kesubah. How can one honestly make such commitment without being ready to fulfill it?

I take issue, however, with the author who blames the roshei yeshiva, rabbeim and their wives for this tragic situation. The heads of yeshivas who devote their lives to Torah and succeed in turning your son on to learning and devoting his life to Torah do not deserve to be condemned for doing a good job and being a role model for your son to follow. Teaching your son a profession or a method by which to make a living is not their responsibility – it is yours. I don’t believe there is a rosh yeshiva alive who will tell your son that earning a living or learning a profession is prohibited. Their goal is to instill in their talmidim the importance of having Torah take prominence in their lives.

Suppose your son went to college and had a dynamic teacher who devoted his life to a science and related research. What if the professor’s love and dedication for his field had rubbed off on your son, who would then acquire a burning desire to emulate his professor? Would the professor deserve to be accused of brainwashing your son or ruining his life and chances of making a living? More likely, the professor would be commended for his superior teaching abilities. The roshei yeshiva are no less worthy of respect.

There are various ways to help young couples focus on the concept of support and its reality in life. No yeshiva bochur has the right to ignore his impending responsibility to support a family. The Bais Yaakov and seminary girls could be of great help in alleviating the problem. I am amazed at the number of girls who say – without the slightest notion of what they are letting themselves in for – that they are looking for a learner. In addition to taking care of the children, the house and multiple other burdens that accompany marriage and motherhood, they will be required to provide the financial support for the family. Is this decision being made with yishuv hadaas, with sincerity, with love and devotion to Torah and a conscious effort to make sacrifices for the sake of Torah? The Herculean effort to create a home and a proper environment for nurturing a happy marriage and superior atmosphere to bring up children can lead to frustration and depression and take a devastating toll on the entire family.

One wonders whether it is the yetzer hara rather than the yetzer tov that encourages youngsters to be idealistic and enter into marriage waving the banner of Torah with no regard to the consequence of being unprepared. Perhaps the young ladies should inform the shadchanim that as much as they are truly committed to a marriage with a mate who is devoted to learning, he is also to have a sense of responsibility for taking care of his family – so that they can have, maintain and sustain a long-lasting happy marriage and proper home environment.

I would also suggest that the young men and young ladies approach their mechanchim who encourage them to commit to a life exclusively dedicated to Torah and request a reciprocal commitment: If they (the students) take on a life dedicated exclusively to learning Torah and, as a result, end up living in poverty, their children will be accepted into the Torah institutions tuition-free. This should give the decision-making process a jolt of reality.

Speaking of reality and responsibility, does the year in seminary (for a cost of $15,000-$20,000) really enhance the talents and further the goals of marriage and motherhood for our young ladies? The particularly disturbing fact is that they are expected to appear for Elul as well as arrange their own accommodations (eating and sleeping) for the duration of the Yomim Tovim. Mothers should arise and demand of the mechanchim that they personally care for these children as they would their own. Remaining home with their mothers to help with the preparations for Yom-Tov would be of greater benefit to the girls than the pirush of the Ramban on Chumash that they will be missing in Elul.

Everyone seems to be following a path geared toward creating an appearance of a superior candidate for shidduchim – instead of a derech that will mold a truly superior person. Our boys and girls go to yeshivas/seminaries with the best reputations, regardless of whether they belong there or not. Reality and responsibility get buried under the institution’s philosophies – resulting in the crisis we presently experience.

May we all be blessed with the wisdom and vision to guide our children in the proper derech.

Mama Sorah

Dear Mama Sorah,

Your comments are insightful and informative. Hopefully all those in a position to affect the shape of our children’s future are paying heed.

The holiday of Shavuos is upon us. As we commemorate the most significant event in the history of our people, let us not lose sight of the fact that, it is the tribe of Zevulun (merchant/parnassa seeker) that has the distinction of being divinely associated with the month of Sivan.

May we all be granted hatzlacha in appreciating and mastering the word of G-d. transmitted via His precious gift to us on Har Sinai.

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 6/02/06”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
funny rocket joke
Israel Retaliates: Hits Terror Tunnel Cement Factory
Latest Sections Stories
Games-121914

Here are examples of games that need to be played by more than one person and an added bonus: they’re all Shabbos-friendly.

South-Florida-logo

The incident was completely unforeseeable. The only term to describe the set of circumstances surrounding it is “freak occurrence.”

South-Florida-logo

The first Chabad Center in Broward County, Chabad of South Broward, now runs nearly fifty programs and agencies. T

The NHS was also honored to have Bob Diener as keynote speaker.

Written with flowing language and engaging style, Attar weaves a spell that combines mystery, humor, adventure and Kabbalah in the most magical place in the world, the Old City of erusalem.

There are those who highlight the diversity of these different teachings, seeing each rebbe as teaching a separate path.

Rav Dynovisz will be speaking in Hebrew on Wednesday, January 7, at 7:30 p.m.

Rabbi Simeon Schreiber, senior chaplain at Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami Beach, saw a small room in the hospital that was dark and dismal but could be used for Sabbath guests.

“The secret to a good donut is using quality ingredients and the ability to be patient and give them time to proof.”

I so desperately want to have a loving relationship with my stepsons.

The Liberty Bell is a symbol of American Independence.

Because you can’t have kids pouring huge jugs of oil into tiny glasses, unless you want to turn your house into an environmental disaster.

Try these with your kids; there’s something for every age group and once all the recipes are made, dinner will be ready!

You children will build the country and you will help restore Israel to her former glory.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-15/2006/05/31/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: