web analytics
July 6, 2015 / 19 Tammuz, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 11/20/09

By:

Chronicles-logo

Dear Rachel:

I always read your column and the advice you give. I am positive that you are aware as to how many people you have helped. Keep it up.

The letter you printed from Isaac Kohn (Chronicles 10-16-09) was really unbelievable for a number of reasons, the most prominent being that the writer is a man! For him to write a letter that truly attacks the male’s position in the Agunah problem is unheard of. Are there more such people around, I wonder?

I know there are people who fight for a woman’s freedom. But most of them are paid to do so in one way or the other. At least that was my experience. But let me stop and tell you a bit about my story.

I met my ex through a shadchen. During the four or five times we went out, he was very charming and polite, and we hit it off.

Three and a half months later, when I was nineteen and he was twenty-one, we were married.

Exactly three months later I became pregnant. Less than a month after that, he slapped me across the face for the first time.

I will not bore you with the two years of misery and torture I endured before I simply ran back home to my parents (they are elderly people) with a tiny child. I was now almost twenty-two.

In short, for a year my ex refused to come to a beis-din. When he finally did show, he made all sorts of demands in order to give me a Get. The worst of all: he wanted full rights to our daughter, without any intention of paying support. In order to obtain the Get I agreed, but then he demanded that she live with him! Of course I refused.

The rabbis were very antagonistic towards me, practically pushing me to go back to him for “shalom bayis” purposes. I told the rabbis that I could not stand him and that just the thought of him touching me made me want to throw up.

Would you like to hear the audacity of one of these rabbis? He urged me to be a good wife!

In short…I was kept an Agunah for almost ten years! He gave me the Get when he met a woman and wanted to get married. I was finally free, but at what cost!

Why isn’t there an organization that will fight and expose the corrupt rabbis who keep women chained? And why are these husbands/animals allowed to do as they please? Where does the Torah Law play a part here?

Thank Mr. Kohn for me. Had such a person been there for me at my time of need, it would have been a blessing. The two Agunot he helped must be blessing him every minute of the day.

Thank you, Rachel.

Do men of integrity really exist…?

Dear Integrity,

A bitter experience in a relationship can leave the injured party disenchanted with the opposite gender. When trust is shattered, it is difficult to believe that good and genuinely caring men exist – but they are out there.

Unfortunately, there are no easy answers to your questions.

Who is he what is he the man who thinks nothing of inflicting torment on another human being – let alone the woman whom he had chosen to love and honor as his life partner?! Such a man is either mentally deranged or downright evil.

You, who pretend to be a charitable and upstanding citizen, may succeed in putting one over on some of your fellowmen, but in no way can you dupe your Maker – for in the heavens above there is a precise accounting of all your deeds, and even of the thoughts and motivations behind them!

That’s right. There will be no place for you to hide when every moment of anguish that you inflicted on your wife will be revealed and counted as a separate transgression.

Oh, I get it! It didn’t work out as you had planned or as you had imagined it would. Well, life doesn’t always do that. G-d, in His infinite kindness and graciousness, granted us a legit way out; it is called gittin and serves as a means by which to terminate a marital union in a civil manner.

You may be surprised to hear this, but G-d abhors arrogance and obnoxiousness, which are completely antithetical to His attributes of humility and compassion.

So, you can figure it this way: In the process of releasing your suffering wife from her pitiful shackles, you just might be doing yourself the bigger favor.

DO IT NOW, for you never know what tomorrow will bring and you better believe that Der Aibishter bleibt nisht shildig – the One Above is punctilious in His reckoning.

Thank you, dear woman, for sharing your pain and frustration with our readers. As unpleasant and hurtful as it may be for us to hear about the bad and the ugly in our midst, can we really afford to ignore it or pretend it doesn’t exist?

I think not. Awareness is the first step toward prevention.

May G-d heed the anguished cries of the suffering and ensure the triumph of good over evil.

* * * * *

We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 338 Third Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11215

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 11/20/09”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Right to Left: Israeli Minister of Defense Moshe "Boogie" Ya'alon, Knesset Chairman Yuli Edelstein, President Reuven Rivlin, Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu and his wife Sarah, Israeli Minister Ofir Akunis and Chairman of the Zionist Camp Party, Isaac Hertzog attend a ceremony marking one year since Operation Protective Edge at the Mount Herzl military cemetery in Jerusalem.
‘They Did Not Fall in Vain: IDF Struck By Air, Sea & Land’
Latest Sections Stories
Teens-Twenties-logo

As I powerfully belted out the song, Ani Maamin B’emunah Sheleima – which means “I believe in God with full faith” – a thought suddenly crossed my mind.

Sandy-Eller-Consumer-logo

Search the Internet for innovative barbeque items and you might just be surprised at what you come across.

South-Florida-logo

Orlando was once a place where people came only to visit and vacation. Now it is home to a burgeoning Torah community, a place Jewish families can be proud to call home.

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary

You’re not seeking perfection. You’re seeking a life that an average person can manage and feel good about. Don’t feel pressure to change everything at once.

The smuggler’s life has been changed forever. He is faced with a major criminal charge. He will probably be sent to prison.

In Culture Shock, readers will also come to identify with a culture from the other end of Orthodox Jewry’s spectrum.

Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Executive Function Disorder (EFD) have trouble keeping themselves organized and on-task.

Our Sages have told us exactly how we should act – and how our children should act – in Pirkei Avos, Ethics of the Fathers.

A second supposed difficulty actually becomes a reason to corroborate that Amestris is Esther.

I work with the Bible in one hand and the tools of excavation in the other.

“Thanks to a local philanthropist who shares our core mission, we now are able to connect more Jewish teens to Israel than ever before,” said Todd Cohn, executive director of Southern NCSY.

In September 2013 he was appointed head rabbi of the IDF Central Command and is currently in charge of special projects for the IDF chief rabbinate.

How efficient to kill two birds with one stone – or booking. Actually three birds, since I invited a man I had commiserated with while waiting my turn to join me.

My children encouraged me to date and even set me up with a very special man.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-205/2009/11/18/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: