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Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 4/02/10

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A single young lady’s retort to Unfaithfully yours (Chronicles 2-19-10)

You pompous fool. I am astounded by your arrogant, self-approved, sadistic behavior. (Yes, sadistic because for some ungodly reason there’s still a wife in the picture). You and your pathetic cronies sicken me. How dare you take what you don’t deserve and abuse it? Yes, I am referring to “marriage.”

I am whom you classified as an outcast, whom you dismissed to bleak exile. And I’ll quote your detestable words, “…the 30-40 year old singles who walk our streets like lepers in pariah-land, branded, in fact, to be lepers by the high standards of Jewish matchmakers and dating society.” I had to reconsider whether to provide a retort to your vaunting article for I felt it might empower your kind, just by acknowledging that something like you exists. Say what you must about adulterers like yourself but don’t compare the attraction between us highly regarded single individuals to your swine-filled sty and then cunningly demoralize the delicate and dignified (yes dignified, for it is HONEST) single world and paint it the dark picture that it is not.

And don’t even attempt to “unastound” me. I am in my early 30s, live in the heart of NYC, and although I am aware of what may occur around here, there is a vast majority of us who wouldn’t dare behave like the sexual predator you boast to be. We date to get married and are not looking for friends with benefits. Most of my single modern friends have never had an intimate relationship and have dated for long periods of time BECAUSE we recognize and appreciate who we are and marriage for the beauty that it is.

From your conceited words I know that I am more open-minded and worldly and definitely more educated than you will ever be. Moreover, I KNOW that I am a sincere, religious Jew, despite being considered “modern orthodox” in your community. That’s because I retained the morals and noble character that I was taught to own as a self-assured individual. Forget being a Jew, just focus on being human. I don’t think you even own that right. My Gentile friends would be ashamed for you – playing dress up like a little schoolgirl, donning the garb of the dusty black hat and stained white shirt to appease yourself, fooling your community, as you return home from your animalistic rendezvous to your oblivious (or chooses to be ignorant) wife.

Your lifestyle frivolously projects “Adultery is the application of democracy to love.” And with this you think YOU are qualified to enlighten individuals? Before you enter the Age of Enlightenment, let me confront you with the Age of Reason. There will come a time soon enough when you will realize “Adultery follows the law of diminishing returns.” Most adulterers commit adultery just because they can. It’s the thrill of the moment, animalistic in nature for it lacks spiritual and cognitive processes. I find the best citations in our own insightful history, as from the wise and TRULY enlightened Melech Shlomo, who understood this too well: “The satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb but to a hungry soul everything that is bitter is sweet.” [Mishlei 27:7] Desire makes even evil things attractive and lascivious sensations that are misused and overplayed lose their appeal. Don’t you dare fault the Chassidishe world (or any other customs, organizations, or individuals) for your pitiable behavior. What are you, a rebellious adolescent?

And you think YOU are a catch? Have you looked in the mirror, through your soulless eyes? Who would covet your bipolar lifestyle? Do you think you really have sex appeal that married individuals somehow magically possess overnight just because they hold this “lofty” stature? What a waste on your subtypes. Do you think we educated, confident, successful, attractive single younger women find a sleaze like you and your old comrades appealing? Don’t make me vomit.

The reason for my above retorts comes back to the first paragraph. Simply put, what perturbs me the most is that your breed has actually achieved marriage and we singles on the sideline who are more deserving and “qualified” to secure the marriage stature have not. We would profoundly love, respect, honor and be loyal to our partners. I can promise you this because this is who we truly are and being with one person cannot and will not obliterate any of our morals. We will continue to wait and pray for what we know to be an honest lifestyle.

You claim to be “happily married” and to love your wife. Loving is easy; respect is what you lack for yourself and others, especially for your wife (and if you have children I won’t allow myself to go there). No one denies that adultery occurs in our backyard, but to gloat like you do about your transgressions and advertise that you have formed societies to support infidelity is There are not enough words to condemn you and your seedy prototypes!

What is laughable is that you insinuate that I am the leper. But, I think you’ve just institutionalized the lowest social level in the Jewish caste system, chum. Careful now, old man, for those painful, infectious nodules come in different shapes and forms… Isn’t it a shame that pleasure is usually spoiled by pain?

Worldly and Untainted

Dear Worldly,

Spoken masterfully! How fortunate is the man who will choose you as his life partner. One can only hope that he will be deserving of his catch. May you run into one another really soon!

Wishing you and all of our reading audience a wonderfully inspiring Pesach holiday.

* * * * *

We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 338 Third Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11215. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


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