web analytics
October 25, 2014 / 1 Heshvan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim with Soldiers 5774 Roundup: Year of Relief and Service for Israel’s Needy

Meir Panim implements programs that serve Israel’s neediest populations with respect and dignity. Meir Panim also coordinated care packages for families in the South during the Gaza War.



Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

By:
Chronicles-logo

An Unexpected Diagnosis

Dear Rachel,

I hardly know where to begin. Some years ago I wrote to you about a marital issue and you were of tremendous help to us. Since then we’ve come a long way and are baruch Hashem kept busy with the myriad of duties raising a family entails. “Kept busy” is actually an understatement… our oldest child is almost twelve, our youngest almost three, and there are a handful in between to keep us on our toes.

Any parent will attest to the ups and downs of dealing with young ones; each child’s personality contributes to the hodgepodge of color and noise, with the latter strikingly discernible when boys outnumber girls.

This story involves our bechor “Shlomo” who has over the years tested us to the limits of our endurance on a regular basis, something we have largely attributed to his particularly contentious relationship with a younger sib. Okay, so sibling rivalry is nothing new. But he also picks fights with his other younger brothers, who shriek and howl as a result of their big brother’s upsetting shenanigans. (Unlike his parents, Shlomo remains unperturbed by the chaos he creates.)

Again, I believe many readers would identify with the frustrations of dealing with a difficult, obstinate child. We’ve tried all sorts of methods to appease our otherwise adorable son. Both his father and I have tried to have in depth one-on-one discussions with him. In an attempt to boost his self-esteem, we emphasize his important role as our oldest child, describe the joy he brought us as our first offspring, and impress upon him how his younger siblings look up to him.

I use the word “tried” because these discussions always end up mostly one-sided. Shlomo listens, shrugs, looks straight ahead, and intones a flat “yah” or “no” at intervals, without adding much else save for a few words here and there with our nudging. Though we’ve come to expect his trademark dispassionate mannerism (the only time he raises his voice with apparent emotion is when it is he who is deprived of something he set his heart on), it has frustrated us to no end.

As the reader can guess, Shlomo hasn’t exactly been a model student either. Though he has proven himself to be capable of pleasing his rebbe and teachers at select times of his choosing, he demonstrates little to no enthusiasm for any of his studies or schoolwork. Despite his scholarly disinterest, I should add that he loves to read and is a deep thinker.

For several months now our son has had weekly therapy sessions with a school-recommended counselor who we hoped would get to the bottom of what makes Shlomo tick. Thus far, he hasn’t made much headway. With Shlomo’s teachers becoming increasingly exasperated over their “absentee” student, we recently decided it was high time to have our son evaluated by a professional psychiatrist.

A grueling two-hour visit resulted in a diagnosis that pulled the rug out from under us. Shlomo was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. The neurodevelopmental disorder specialist didn’t mince words in lecturing us for waiting so long to bring him in for examination. (As if Jewish guilt is in need of fortification…)

Needless to say, life with Shlomo has now taken on a whole new meaning, and as much as we’ve already learned about AS in the last couple of weeks, there is much more to do and learn.

One of the reasons I’m writing to you at this time is to alert other parents who may be as clueless as we were. Another reason… the doctor prescribed medication and spelled out some pretty nasty side effects associated with it. While I am leaning towards taking the doctor’s advice, my husband is not too keen on “drugging” any child of ours.

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Do you know where your vegetables grow?
Not So Kosher Shemittah L’Mehadrin
Latest Sections Stories
Nimchinsky-102414-Flag

This past summer was a powerful one for the Jewish people. I will always remember where I was on June 12th when I found out that Gilad, Eyal and Naftali were kidnapped. I will always remember the look on my sister’s face on June 30th when she told me that they were found. I will […]

Schonfeld-logo1

Avromi often put other people’s interests before his own: he would not defend people whom he believed were guilty (even if they were willing to pay him a lot of money).

Kupfer-102414

The Presbyterian Church USA voted to divest from three companies that do business with Israel.

How can I help my wife learn to say “no,” and understand that her first priority must be her husband and family?

My eyes skimmed an article on page 1A. I was flabbergasted. I read the title again. Could it be? It had good news for the Miami Jewish community.

Students in early childhood, elementary, and middle school were treated to an array of hands-on projects to create sukkah decorations such as wind chimes, velvet posters, sand art, paper chains, and more.

It is important for a therapist to focus on a person’s strengths as a way of overcoming his or her difficulties.

Sadly, there are mothers who, due to severe depression are unable or unwilling to prepare nourishing food for their children.

Michal had never been away from home. And now, she was going so far away, for so long – an entire year!

Though if you do have a schach mat, you’ll realize that it cannot actually support the weight of the water.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-296/2014/01/31/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: