web analytics
May 23, 2015 / 5 Sivan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

By:
Chronicles-logo

A Put-Down Worth Putting Up With

 

Dear Rachel,

Sometimes we are confronted by the unexpected and don’t react, only to be sorry later for not having said or done the right thing. Though my in-laws live a lengthy drive away, we visit them for Shabbosim every so often. It’s not easy to pack up our brood, but the reward of seeing grandparents interacting with their einiklach is worth it all. Needless to say, we don’t impose ourselves and make sure in advance that the timing works well for everyone. And the change of scenery does us all some good.

Sitting at the dining room table on a recent Shabbos by my in-laws, my husband and I were doing our darndest to see to our kids behaving properly – which included curbing their consumption of food and drink they would gorge on given the chance.

My husband was rationing the grape juice for our young ones (who kept asking for more and more), while he was at the same time trying to limit their intake of Bubbie’s delicious home-baked challah. At the rate they were going, they’d have had no appetite for anything else.

Out of left field my father-in-law starts telling a “story” about family members of once upon a time who went hungry when there was no food available for them to eat – until they found some scraps of potato peels in the trash to appease their hunger. The brief narrative ended with a stern-toned: “Do you know who kept them from eating? The German Nazis!”

The children were quiet, taking it all in, the inference not lost on anyone at the table. My husband broke the momentary uncomfortable silence by calmly asking, “Are you saying that I’m a Nazi because I stop the children from eating too much challah?”

My father-in-law answered yes and added that it wasn’t right to keep the children from eating as much challah or drinking as much grape juice as they expressed a desire for. It took but a split second for one of our children to react in typical 10-year old boy fashion. He grabbed the largest chunk of uncut challah within his reach, turned to his 12-year old brother sitting next to him and exclaimed with excitement, “Yah! Did you hear that? Daddy is a Nazi for not letting us have as much challah as we want! We can split this between us!”

Rachel, my in-laws are good people. They bend over backwards to accommodate us and my mother-in-law always takes pains to prepare the foods she knows we like. They are both children of Holocaust survivors and never knew their own grandparents. I’m sure they also heard plenty about the horrors their parents and extended families endured, most of whom never came back.

Still, my father-in-law’s comment was uncalled for and offensive. My husband, to his credit, maintained his composure and explained matter-of-factly and respectfully that he simply wanted to make sure the kids would have an appetite for the food that would offer their growing bodies more nutrition than the challah. My ever diplomatic mother-in-law adeptly steered the conversation to a more palatable topic, while I took the almost half a challah out of my son’s hands and said, “Daddy wants to make sure you won’t get a tummy ache and Zeidy wants you to enjoy yourselves. We all want what’s best for you… but sometimes it’s up to you to find the right balance.”

I was later overcome with regret for not having been more outspoken and for not bolstering my husband’s argument.

Right now I’m not in any rush to visit my in-laws again in the very near future. How should I handle this type of situation should it come up again?

Rattled in Rockland County

Dear Rattled,

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Tzipi Hotovely, new Deputy Foreign Minister.
Foreign Minister Hotovely: Tell the World ‘God Gave Israel to the Jews’
Latest Sections Stories
Schonfeld-logo1

To what extent is your child displaying defiance?

Respler-052215

This therapist kept focusing on how “I could do better,” never on how we could make the marriage work.

South-Florida-logo

Mistrust that has lingered after the fiasco in Ferguson, Missouri, has edged the issue forward.

“The observance of a kosher diet is a key tenet of Judaism, and one which no state has the right to deny,” said Nathan Diament, executive director for public policy of the Orthodox Union.

Two weeks of intense learning in the classroom about Israel culminated with Yom Ha’Atzmaut. Students attended sessions with their teachers and learned about history, culture, military power, advocacy, slang, cooking, and more.

The nations of the world left the vessel to sit rotting in the water during one of the coldest winters in decades and with its starving and freezing passengers abandoned.

Rabbi Yisroel Edelman, the synagogue’s spiritual leader, declared, “The Young Israel of Deerfield Beach is looking forward to our partnership with the OU. The impact the OU has brought to Jewish communities throughout the country through its outreach and educational resources is enormous and we anticipate the same for our community in Deerfield Beach as well.”

Our goal here is to offer you recipes that you can make on Yom Tov with ingredients you might just have in the house. Enjoy and chag sameach!

Gardening can be a healthy, wholesome activity for the whole family.

Unfortunately, the probability is that he will not see a reason to change as he has been acting this way for a long time and clearly has some issues with respecting women.

All of these small changes work their way into the framework of the elephant and the rider because they are helping the elephant move forward.

It’s hard not to be intrigued by recipes with names like Thanksgiving Stuffing Soup, Braised Chicken with Rhubarb Gravy and Vidalia Onion Fritters with Sambal Yogurt Dip.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-316/2014/04/04/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: