web analytics
December 25, 2014 / 3 Tevet, 5775
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
8000 meals Celebrate Eight Days of Chanukah – With 8,000 Free Meals Daily to Israel’s Poor

Join Meir Panim’s campaign to “light up” Chanukah for families in need.



Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 5/19/06

By:

Chronicles-logo

We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories by e-mail to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 338 Third Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11215.

To all women, men or children who feel that they are at the end of their ropes, please consider joining a support group, or forming one.

Anyone wishing to make a contribution to help agunot, please send your tax deductible contribution to The Jewish Press Foundation.

Checks must be clearly specified to help agunot. Please make sure to include that information if that is the purpose of your contribution, because this is just one of the many worthwhile causes helped by this foundation.

* * * * *

Responses To ‘Embarrassed And Scared’

Dear Rachel,

I’m just a 16-year old girl who reads your column every week. Regarding the woman who says she is falling off the derech (Embarrassed and Scared /March 17) – I don’t know how much you would value my opinion, but I think it would be beneficial if she would find someone whom she admires and looks up to. She should meet with this person at least once a week to learn something together, whether from the parsha of the week or the views of the Torah on the role of a Jewish woman. If she really likes the person, she will look forward to these learning times and it may keep her from falling off the derech.

Whoever you are, just remember that you are a gem in the eyes of Hashem and He loves you.

Go from strength to strength!

Concerned

Dear Rachel,

My heart goes out to Embarrassed and Scared. I believe your response was on-target and non-confrontational. As a woman who has been through her share of challenges, I wanted to share some words of chizuk with her. I thought you might either forward my letter to her or perhaps print it in your column; maybe there are other women who could also benefit.

Dear Embarrassed and Scared,

I’m writing to you simply to tell you that you are not alone – because I’ve been in that part of the world. I have no doubt that other women and men also question their marital relationships and try to solve their problems by looking elsewhere instead of within. So I can most definitely feel for your loneliness and feelings of confusion. Therefore, I’d like to share some information that helped me get through my situation. The two things that saved me are, that I didn’t act on my thoughts and feelings and that I found a trusting therapist who helped me sort my feelings and helped me understand my issues. As far as temptations are concerned, they are always out there, ready and willing to catch us when we’re weak and vulnerable. They don’t vanish; they only become weakened when we become stronger. And when we weaken, they become stronger.

You mentioned something that resonated with me big time; you felt that Hashem was disgusted with you. I felt the same way. I also felt that I was a horrible person. So in essence I assumed Hashem thought that way about me, too. The truth of the matter is that these are our own perceptions brought on by our inner confusion and self-disgust. We have a habit of projecting on Hashem what we, as human beings, think about others and ourselves.

I read Rachel’s response to you and I would like to echo her words. Hashem is kind and compassionate and always gives us opportunities to better ourselves. So here’s the other thing I learned. Sometimes we will find ourselves in the midst of a major disastrous situation that pushes us to the wall and makes us feel confused, alone and scared. Challenging and difficult as it may be, it doesn’t necessarily have to be viewed as a horrific situation. The reality is that “the situation” might be our window of opportunity that allows us look into ourselves and to begin thinking about resolving certain problems (which may have been around for a long time) that need our immediate attention.

You mentioned that you have a therapist but are uncomfortable speaking about this issue. I feel for your inability to be open and honest with someone who is actually there to help you. Based on my experiences, I can assure you that at times a therapist is simply not a “shidduch,” and you need to look further. Sometimes a therapist might be helpful, but for some reason you just don’t trust the person; maybe the professional speaks to you with judgmental undertones. Then there’s a third situation where the therapist may be the right shidduch but there’s another issue at stake – your embarrassment. With some people, the intensity of their embarrassment causes such discomfort that they can’t open up to even someone trustworthy and capable of helping. If this is the case, you might first want to try speaking to your therapist about your feelings with regard to trust.

Rachel’s suggestion of looking to Hashem was so on the mark. Look to Him for guidance and strength. I hope you find inner peace.

Dear Readers,

Your genuine concern is most heartwarming, and your sentiments serve to teach a vital lesson and then some – that no one is ever really alone, and that misery and loneliness can be assuaged by another’s concern and understanding. A caring voice or listening ear can make all the difference in the world to the troubled soul.

Thank you for your compassionate and wise counsel and for taking the time to articulate your thoughts and feelings.

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 5/19/06”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
The 13th issue of Al Qaeda's 'Inspire' online English-language magazine.
Al Qaeda Urges ‘Lone Wolves’ via Magazine to Attack US Airliners
Latest Sections Stories
Schonfeld-logo1

When someone with a fixed mindset has a negative interaction with a friend or loved one, he or she immediately projects that rejection onto him or herself saying: “I’m unlovable.”

Respler-121914

How many potential shidduchim are not coming about because we, the mothers, are not allowing them to go through?

Is the Torah offering nechama by subtly hinting that death brings reunion with loved ones who preceded you?

She approached Holofernes and, with a sword concealed under her robe, severed his head.

Here are examples of games that need to be played by more than one person and an added bonus: they’re all Shabbos-friendly.

The incident was completely unforeseeable. The only term to describe the set of circumstances surrounding it is “freak occurrence.”

The first Chabad Center in Broward County, Chabad of South Broward, now runs nearly fifty programs and agencies. T

The NHS was also honored to have Bob Diener as keynote speaker.

Written with flowing language and engaging style, Attar weaves a spell that combines mystery, humor, adventure and Kabbalah in the most magical place in the world, the Old City of erusalem.

There are those who highlight the diversity of these different teachings, seeing each rebbe as teaching a separate path.

Rav Dynovisz will be speaking in Hebrew on Wednesday, January 7, at 7:30 p.m.

Rabbi Simeon Schreiber, senior chaplain at Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami Beach, saw a small room in the hospital that was dark and dismal but could be used for Sabbath guests.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-7/2006/05/17/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: