web analytics
July 26, 2014 / 28 Tammuz, 5774
Israel at War: Operation Protective Edge
 
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
IDC Advocacy Room IDC Fights War on Another Front

Student Union opens ‘hasbara’ room in effort to fill public diplomacy vacuum.



Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 8/10/07

By:

Chronicles-logo

We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories by e-mail to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 338 Third Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11215.

To all women, men or children who feel that they are at the end of their ropes, please consider joining a support group, or forming one.

Anyone wishing to make a contribution to help agunot, please send your tax deductible contribution to The Jewish Press Foundation.

Checks must be clearly specified to help agunot. Please make sure to include that information if that is the purpose of your contribution, because this is just one of the many worthwhile causes helped by this foundation.

* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Rachel,

The woman who wrote the heartfelt letter about “lost love” reminded me of two lost loves of mine. And I would like to tell them both that I know Hashem had a purpose, a reason to bring us together, and a reason to break us up too.

This letter addresses both my ex-husband, and my former chassan. While we may not understand why our relationships failed, there were reasons for us to be together at different stages in our lives.

To my ex-husband: our son had to be born for Hashem’s purpose; to my former chassan: you helped both of us heal from past hurts, and you to took my son’s soul and developed it to manhood, ensuring that he would have a proper Bar Mitzvah – filling the void left by his father.

The pain of losing you, as well as the regrets that you both did not love me as much as I loved you, will, however, always be with me.

I just hope that when you reflect on what we had in the past, you will have learned from your mistakes as much as I have learned from mine, and you will improve your ways, as I have tried to improve mine.

Please let this woman know that she is not alone with her regrets of lost love.

Thanks for helping us heal our broken hearts too.

In the Same Boat (I)

Dear Rachel,

Unfortunately, this woman is not alone being married and loving somebody else. It’s a crazy thing but it’s way too common … how is it possible to forget a first love?

I’m very happily married, Baruch Hashem, with many children, kein ayin hara, and I’m in the same boat. I love my husband like crazy, I really, really do. I don’t find that he lacks for anything at all and I’m proud to be by his side, but I do still love my first and I don’t think I will ever get over that. We just shared such a strong bond for so many years together when we were younger that I will never get over him – ever. I wish I could!

I don’t think it affects my marriage, but who knows what goes on subconsciously. I do know that I would make the same choice again given the chance – I’d marry my husband, because it was obviously meant to be and I really am crazy about him. Who knows if it would have worked out with the ex?

Only Hashem knows and Hashem does what’s best for US. This should be some sort of consolation to the woman who is so unhappy.

In the Same Boat (II)

Dear ForEver Mine,

I am a man about your age, married with a family B”H and with a story like yours. The details of our relationship, however, differed in many respects, including how we met and why we split. What you and I have in common is that I too cannot forget this woman.

I hope this letter gives you chizuk and some measure of comfort. Not because I have an answer or cure or advice, because I haven’t any. If I did, I long ago would have forgotten this love.

I can only assure you that you and I are not alone. I know this may be of small comfort, but at least it’s good to know that this situation is not so unique as to be an anomaly.

About two years ago, AARP magazine ran a long article about how middle-aged people were trying to reconnect with their former loves. Changes in their lives, divorce, death, etc., spurred them to actively seek out old flames. And amazingly many were successful, with happy endings.

As I read the article, I wondered why people “regress” back to their youth instead of moving on. Is there something about getting older that impels us to think, remember and reminisce so much about something in the past? Why won’t it go away?

It is interesting that you wrote your letter to Rachel at 58 years of age. You said that you thought about him for 40 years, but presumably you are telling this story for the first time.

If I am correct, then you too are thinking and feeling this more strongly and painfully than before. In the recent past I’ve thought more about this woman, than [I had] in the last several years. Not that I forgot her. She was always teeming under the surface. But now it has become painful and an obsession.

Perhaps as our lives slow down, as we mature, repressed feelings come to the surface. I don’t know. I shed some tears as I read your story. I empathize and sympathize, and that’s all I can do.

I hope you find peace . . . you, me, and maybe others.

In the Same Boat (III)

Dear Readers,

Acute nostalgia brings on waves of emotion. Human nature is such that we pine for “the good old days.” Whether they actually were that “good” or not is another story. The mere loss of something makes us obsess over its value and appreciate it more than when we had it and took it for granted; bygone days have always seemed so special and appealing.

With our accrued wisdom and maturity, would we make all the “right” moves given another chance? After all, we’re so much smarter now than we were when youth was ours.

But alas, we’ve had our chance and must now live with the choices we made and make the best of what we have. A good cry can be cleansing, and while reminiscing is normal and harmless, living in and mourning the past is detrimental to our overall health.

The best thing we can do today is to give thanks to our Creator for His kindnesses (despite our sometimes foolhardy choices), and pray on each new day that we exercise our freedom of choice wisely.

Thank you for sharing.

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 8/10/07”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
John Kerry
Entire Israeli Cabinet Rejects Kerry’s Proposed Ceasefire, Talks Continue
Latest Sections Stories
Respler-072514

The real solution to bullying is to empower the bullied child.

Schonfeld-logo1

Time outs increases compliance and positive behavior far more than other forms of discipline

Schild-Edwin

Interestingly, sometimes people who have a very high self-awareness may experience intense reactions to circumstances that others might respond to more mildly.

“You Touro graduates are automatically soldiers in [Israel’s] struggle, and we count on you,” Rothstein told the graduates.

The lemonana was something else. Never had we seen a green drink look so enticing.

On his marriage, he wrote: “This is what I believe: something of the core, of the essence of this meaningful and life-affirming Judaism will not be absent from our home” (1882).

With the recent kidnapping by the Hamas and the barbaric murder of three children – Gilad Shaar, Eyal Yifrach and Naftali Frankel, we believe that the best answer to honor the memory of those murdered is to continue building those very communities – large and small – that our enemies are trying to destroy.

Written entirely through Frayda’s eyes, the reader is drawn by her unassuming personality.

Adopting an ancient exegetical approach that is based on midrashic readings of the text, thematic connections that span between various books of the Bible are revealed.

While Lipman comes from an ultra-Orthodox background and is an Orthodox rabbi, he offers a breath of fresh air when he suggests that “polarization caused by extremism and isolationism in the religious community may be the greatest internal threat to the future of the Jewish people”

The Joys of Yiddish, Leo Rosten defines a mentch as “someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character.”

Certainly today’s communication via e-mail, Facebook, Twitter and the like, including the ubiquitous Whatsapp, has reduced the need to talk with people and communicate at length.

    Latest Poll

    Do you think the FAA ban on US flights to Israel is political?






    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-72/2007/08/08/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: