web analytics
April 26, 2015 / 7 Iyar, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 12/29/07

By:

Chronicles-logo

We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories by e-mail to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 338 Third Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11215.

To all women, men or children who feel that they are at the end of their ropes, please consider joining a support group, or forming one.

Anyone wishing to make a contribution to help agunot, please send your tax deductible contribution to The Jewish Press Foundation.

Checks must be clearly specified to help agunot. Please make sure to include that information if that is the purpose of your contribution, because this is just one of the many worthwhile causes helped by this foundation.

* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Rachel,

I was wondering if you might print this letter as I could really use some guidance.

I am at my wit’s end and in dire need of recommendations from your intelligent and sensible readers.

I am this close (please keep these two words as one) to having Jewish Family Services remove a Yiddishe neshama from her so called ‘home.’

Allow me to explain. A well-known acquaintance, “Rochel” (not her real name), to whom my family, I, and many others in the community have stretched out their hearts (and pocketbooks) by helping with money, food, driving regularly to doctor’s appointments and many other services, has figured out how to navigate the system wherein everyone in the community is at her beck and call. Rochel has an illness that appeared later on in life, and if there’s an organization that gives, Rochel is there to accept.

I am completely fine with all of this. What I am not fine with and extremely uncomfortable with – is that Rochel has one child, a girl, with whom she resides. There is no husband to speak of and no communication with him whatsoever. Rochel’s daughter, “Rivka” is a perfectly normal child. For a period of time she lived with her grandmother and was given back to her mother when Rivka was probably entering the 7th grade, or a bit earlier.

This past summer, Rivka was “privileged” to be a “camper” in a camp that caters to terminally ill, cancer stricken, and/or children who have diseases that need chemotherapy or require monitoring for heavy doses of medicine! Rochel got Rivka in as a sick child! I am literally crying as I write this letter. Rivka is not sick, her mother is!

Please tell me how Rivka was able to work as a counselor in a local day camp in Brooklyn for the second half of the summer whilst being so “ill?”

Today, Rivka, having just finished a prominent local Yeshiva High School has a very busy schedule. No, she is not in a local seminary. She does not have a job. Rochel has consumed herself with taking Rivka to different doctor appointments creating illnesses that her daughter does not have! The rest of the time, Rivka is busy doing errands for her mother.

I know there is a name for this illness called Munchausen’s, wherein parents create scenarios for their children, fabricating illnesses or psychological trauma in order to draw attention or sympathy. This is what Rochel is doing and, to boot, has Rivka creating lies about her daily activities.

Please tell me, dear Rachel, how can I sit back and allow this mother to ruin her child’s life?

Frustrated in Brooklyn

Note: Rochel, if you recognize yourself, please accept this as an appeal to save your daughter!

Dear Frustrated,

Your story is a sad one – and has me completely baffled. Have Rochel and Rivka no family at all who would be able to wield influence and have a say in how Rivka is being raised? (Where is that grandmother with whom the child lived for a time?) Where are the organizations that have helped Rochel? How is it that Rivka was allowed to remain under the care of her obviously disturbed mother? What happened to her teachers and school counselors? And don’t camps evaluate applicants to determine eligibility?

Munchausen Syndrome is a disorder that has the afflicted individual feigning illness in order to gain attention and sympathy. Such persons are, furthermore, at risk of inflicting an injury in order to garner the attention they seek.

Baruch Hashem we are a charitable people, but the simple act of giving is not always the solution. Many times a person needs help to help him/herself, and consistently being handed what one needs to sustain oneself on a daily basis does little to nothing in rescuing that individual from his/her unfortunate predicament. The better and more meritorious method of charity is to help ensure another’s future viability and self-efficiency.

You’ve appealed to our readers. Hopefully, someone out there can clue us in, and perhaps offer you and those who genuinely feel for this tragic mother and daughter some constructive advice.

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 12/29/07”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
President Obama
The Gap between Fairness and Safety: WMDs in Iraq and Iran
Latest Sections Stories
Food-Talk---Eller-logo

“People who never buy cookbooks are getting this one,” said Victoria. “They read it cover to cover and find it so interesting.”

South-Florida-logo

We have recently witnessed how other minorities deal with even perceived danger aimed at their brothers and sisters. They respond in great numbers.

South-Florida-logo

The Hebrew Academy students took part in all categories and used successful and innovative techniques to achieve their goals.

“The objective behind establishing small communities as places for relocation was a remedy for the excessive cost of housing and education in the large New York metropolitan market,” Mr. Savitsky explained.

Jewish Democrats did not entirely trust the son of Joseph Kennedy, a man broadly considered to be both anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi.

The teenage years are not about surviving. They are about thriving.

Every moment was a gift. I held each one, savoring.

We arrived in Auschwitz on Thursday, January 30, 2014. My seminary was taking us to see where the prisoners were kept. When we got there, I stepped off the bus in complete and total silence. I was in the back, and when we got to the gate I hesitated and started shaking uncontrollably. I couldn’t […]

From the moment Israel was declared a Jewish state, it has been the subject of controversy and struggle.

Now that Pesach is over, we return you to your regularly-scheduled pressing questions:   Dear Mordechai, Can I use a nose hair trimmer during Sefirah? Harry Lipman   Dear Harry, Yes, as long as your nose hairs are so bad that they’re affecting your job. Like if you have a desk job, and they interfere […]

It is very natural for kids to want attention and to be jealous of each other, especially when there is a new baby.

During the Second World War, a million and a half Jewish soldiers fought in the Allied armies, the Partisan units in Eastern Europe, and the anti-fascist underground movements in Western Europe and North Africa. These Jewish fighters won over 200,000 medals and citations. The Museum of the Jewish Soldier in World War II in Latrun, […]

The 2-day real estate event will take place in Brooklyn on April 26 and 27.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-89/2007/12/27/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: