Meir Panim’s Tiberias Free Restaurant not only provides warm meals, but the opportunity to socialize as well.
Blood tests are rather innocuous. The pin prick is just slightly annoying, and the ordeal usually only takes a few moments. The clues that the collected blood contain and the impact they may have on your life are much more serious. Waiting on the vital information from blood tests is a regular occurrence in the medical world, and those results can mean so much.
My wife and I always tell the story about how just days before we were to get engaged, we found out that her earlier genetic testing results had been corrupted, and we could not get any definitive answers as to our compatibility.
We rode the train together for her to be retested, and then spent an agonizing week waiting for results that were delayed because of the holidays. The rest of our lives was dependent on those results, and we literally spent days sitting by the phone waiting for the eventual good news.
Waiting for blood results in an era before caller id was yet another challenging experience, and it began on the very first day of our infertility journey, as we were both tested to see if there were any obvious clues to the problems.
Unlike our experience before our engagement, we were both working at the time. In some ways that made things easier because we were preoccupied and didn’t spend hours on end near the phone. On the other hand, it was difficult to concentrate at work with such important results pending and even more difficult to try to focus on bills and other normal things that usually preoccupy couples.
Thankfully, the results were productive and our doctor had a treatment protocol that he was ready to begin. He prescribed a medication called Clomid and outlined the protocol for the next month.
For the sake of tznius, I will not go into too many of the details, but before he would write the prescription the doctor wanted to give us two warnings. First, he told my wife that the use of these medications is correlated with a higher incidence of ovarian cancer, and he wanted to make sure she was willing to accept that risk.
Second, he warned that multiples (twins, triplets, etc.) were not infrequent with this kind of medication and that we should be aware that this was a real possibility. At the time, not fully realizing the ramifications, my thought was how nice multiples would be so that we get this over with and not have to go through the ordeal again.
Infertility treatments are a transformative experience for a couple. Monthly hope and prayers are joined by medication regimens, counting days, ovulation predictions and timed intimacy. It is also important to note that no medications are without side effects, and Clomid has mood changing properties that added to an already tense situation.
The doctor had warned us that these things take time and we needed to find the right doses. I think it is almost natural for couples to hope for the best each treatment cycle, even though failure is such a devastating blow. In the early months of treatment, we really didn’t have to wait that long, as we could gauge failure through the size of follicles in ultrasound results.
Those painful months were all the same, measured only by an increase in dose or the addition of other medications, the anticipation and hope of the ultrasound and the devastation of yet another unsuccessful attempt. It is important to note that we usually had those ultrasound results before the scheduled day for the mikvah and you can only imagine the impact such bad news had on the marital relationship.
As I mentioned once before, I was fortunate to have some flexibility in my work schedule even though I worked quite far away from home. I was there for every appointment. I was there to offer a silent prayer before every ultrasound that this would be a month when we at least had a chance.
Those months were interminable. Looking back, it seems like a series of doctors appointments and ultrasounds and frustration. It literally took over our lives and was foremost in our thoughts day in and day out.
About the Author: Chaim Shapiro, M.Ed is a freelance writer, public speaker and social media consultant. He is currently working on a book about his collegiate experience. He welcomes comments and feedback at email@example.com or on his website: http://chaimshapiro.com/
If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.
Comments are closed.
This is the story of a Holocaust survivor who began her odyssey in Dej, Romania. Chanele Anne Grun Kempler was a teenager when she came to Auschwitz, almost 20 when she immigrated to Montreal and became a famous artist, and 64 when she passed away, alone in her bed, in 1994, on her chest a letter from Yad Vashem informing her that the painting she offered to the organization would be admitted and displayed.
It’s not that I think contractors, painters and tile guys are exclusively greedy, deceitful incompetent people – I think they are just poor businessmen or women!
What is the origin of the custom to eat Seudah Shlishis in shul?
Widow of world-famous nuclear scientist and human rights activist, Dr. Andre Sakharov, and an outstanding activist in her own right, Yelena Bonner was invited to speak of the suffering she endured in Stalinist Russia. Instead, the 86-year-old leader of the Russian human rights movement chose to speak about Israel and the Jews. Why?
I wonder why bullying exists in our community and in society at large? I was very surprised at a 30-year-old client’s explanation.
The rebbe had told Meir and Yehudah to take turns, but that wasn’t working out so well.
The sage Hillel summarized the entire Torah by saying, “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn it.”
Sometimes it is hard to help people, and sometimes you can help people by just using whatever it is you have at the time – even an amazing fishing rod.
Musial told the taunted Jackie Robinson: “I want you to know that I’m not like many of the other guys on my team.”
Brooklyn resident David Siller, currently studying in Israel at Yeshivat Yesodei HaTorah in Beit Shemesh, was awarded a trophy for finishing 3rd in his age group (14-18) in a 5-kilometer race for the benefit of the Benjamin Children’s Library of Beit Shemesh.
I have a background in counseling, and I can say that the biggest mistake that I ever made was refusing psychological help after we lost the twins. I was trying to keep my tough-guy facade going, and convinced myself that I could deal with the pain.
Special Note: It is an unusual phenomenon that many bereaved parents share. We can almost see our age-adjusted children in our sukkah or running up to us during a family simcha. As quickly as they come, those visions seem to disappear as we go through the life cycle. They are hard moments made harder by the thoughts of not only what could have been, but what should have been.
I had to believe that things were going to be ok. They just had to be ok. We had gone through so much, had sacrificed so much and were doing everything the doctors told us to do. I remember speaking to a hesitant professor in my Ph.D. program about getting an incomplete in her class. The conversation stands out in my mind because, looking back, I can see how odd it must have seemed as I matter-of-factly told her I was too busy for coursework because my twins’ amniotic sack was bulging through my wife’s cervix.
On our first day in the antepartum unit, one of the nurses mentioned how critical every moment of pregnancy really was. “One minute in is worth two minutes out (in an incubator).” We weren’t really expecting a premature birth, but her comment put a fine point on the importance of the care my wife was receiving.
The best way to describe our emotions the morning of our major ultrasound was nervous excitement. We had survived a serious scare with a threatened miscarriage a few weeks prior. My wife was on bed rest at home, but we had no real reason to assume there would be any new problems.
It was only after we celebrated the great news that we were expecting twins that we saw the first sign of problems. First of all, my wife was losing, not gaining weight, even as the babies continued to grow normally. Soon after, routine blood work revealed that my wife was suffering from gestational diabetes.
The doctor had warned us that even if we did everything right and followed the protocol after the follicle was of the right size, there was no guarantee of success. Fertilization still had to occur, and just like couples do not necessarily become pregnant every month, we had no way to know if we were actually expecting for two full weeks.
Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/from-the-greatest-heights-part-iv/2013/04/19/
Scan this QR code to visit this page online:
No related posts.