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Discuss your different backgrounds and decide what you can do to make changes in your life. Think of your issues this way: due to those different backgrounds, you have a “shovel” to deal with difficulties while he has a “spoon.” This understanding will help you deal with your issues in a more positive way.

One of life’s great challenges is trying to use our different backgrounds as a way to help us deal more effectively with our issues. The more empathy you show your husband, the more he will be able to successfully confront and defeat his demanding tests. I wish you hatzlachah and hope that both of you grow through open communication.

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Finally, seek professional help if you feel that it is required.

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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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