Clarify what you want and don’t want from your parent during this meeting.
5. Stay on Task, Don’t Stray: If you’re feeling good about the conversation, there’s a tendency to begin sharing or discussing things that you had never intended. This meandering can lead to other touchy topics that aren’t purposeful to your goal.
There’s danger in this, because you’ll move away from your original agenda and get into a topic where the conversation may not go well. This moment of being heard is too important to be muddied with any other issue. Keep the conversation to about 30 minutes, then bring it to closure.
If all goes well, you can end by asking to do this again and have further discussion. But remember that much of the healing after divorce will be on your own. But it can be so helpful to hear an understanding, sympathetic word from your parents, often, for the first time.
About the Author: Check out Gary’s web program where he interviews couples who share their struggles and innermost thoughts and feelings at mgaryneuman.com. Facebook or Twitter Gary at mgaryneuman. M. Gary Neuman is a NY Times best selling author and a frequent guest on the Oprah show. He lives in Miami with his wife and five children.
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