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May 23, 2013 /14 Sivan, 5773
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The Tosfos Yomtov was convinced that the death of 300,000 –600,000 Jews during the Chmielnicki massacres of 1648-49 were because of improper Tefila. Communicated: Tefilla

Chillul Tefila Bifarhesia, as well as halachicly challenged verbiage and dress, are external manifestations of a critical lack of personal yiras shomayim which has lethal consequences.



An Appeal To Readers

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Another piece of advice: whatever issues you face, know that for every couple it will be different.

I have also worked with people in second marriages who are trying to make their marriages work. Sometimes they tell me privately that the issues in the second marriage are the same as they faced in the first, and that had they sought my help during their difficult first marriage they might never have gotten divorced from their first spouse. This reaction is particularly true coming from a very difficult man who expressed the desire not to be divorced twice. He realized that he was acting in the same destructive way in his second marriage as he did in his first. Luckily for him, his second wife was stronger and more positive. Together they were able to rewrite the marital script and not create a situation whereby his second marriage emulated his first one.

Dear readers, if you are in a difficult marriage, please get help to improve it – and make the maximum effort to succeed. Learn effective techniques and countermoves. Rewrite your marital script. If you are determined to stay married at all cost, don’t live in a miserable marriage; instead, get help to make it a great marriage. By doing this, you will save the future generations that result from your marriage much potential pain. Hatzlachah!

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The two proceeded to talk about everyday things and surprisingly her mother-in-law did not find anything else to criticize. This occurred a few more times, with my client changing the topic every time by complimenting her mother-in-law or mentioning something positive about her.

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Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships

The two proceeded to talk about everyday things and surprisingly her mother-in-law did not find anything else to criticize. This occurred a few more times, with my client changing the topic every time by complimenting her mother-in-law or mentioning something positive about her.

Respler-051013
Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships

Dear Dr Yael:

During a shiur on Pirkei Avos, a rabbi admired by my husband spoke about how some people begrudge others certain things. He mentioned the “D” word (without saying the word itself), and I think he said it was an illness talked about in the Gemara. He said that people suffering from this “machalah shachor” (dark illness) should live in a desert with the wild animals. My assumption was that the person would be left to die there.

Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships

Instead of putting it all on the men, saying for example that they are “trained” by “society” to feel, think and behave as they do, perhaps you could have encouraged these self-described happily-married women to look in the mirror and try to figure out why their husbands seem to act insensitively toward them.

Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships

My friend forwarded this letter and I am sharing it with you, my readers as it concerns an issue that affects many in the “sandwich generation.”

Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships

Dear Dr. Yael:

I am trying, over the Internet, to find programs for my son that are geared toward helping people strengthen their emunah and bitachon. Thus far, I have been unsuccessful. Do you know of any sites I can visit?

Anonymous

Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships

He needs to have a different ring for his work number in order to be able to ignore all other incoming calls and message alerts. This will give him the opportunity to only speak on the phone or retrieve texts when it is absolutely necessary to do so.

Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships

To this day, all the returned items remain in my parent’s possession. Baruch Hashem, this was the beginning of a very close and wonderful relationship between my parents and these machatanim – on that continues until today.

Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships

Just like Aharon HaKohen promoted shalom bayis by sharing with couples all of the good things that his or her spouse said, a therapist can encourage shalom bayis in this same way.

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